BewitchedandBothered Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) Hi friends:) Newbie here; maybe I could benefit from the wisdom of your input. Back in late 2009, I got to talking with a seemingly nice fellow on Facebook. He found me on another friend's page and sent me a friend request. I accepted. We ended up chatting and playing online Scrabble and developed what I thought was a nice online friendship. After a few months of daily chats and moving the chats to AOL, we started talking on the phone and it was nice. We had a connection and eventually met. Seemed to be very intense on both our parts. There were some red flags I ignored because I was smitten. He was all over other ladies' walls, giving over the top compliments. He was friending women through other friends' lists as well. I figure, maybe it's just me. I did tell him it hurt my feelings to see him say "sigh...you are so beautiful' on another girl's picture---literally the day after our very first weekend together. He had her block me. He would keep talking about his ex wife and mention other ladies I may know; seemed to be fishing, I guess. I was uncomfortable with it and asked him to stop asking me about other women. He then started calling me by his ex wife's name--6 times in the relationship at least. Told me she was evil and a psycho. then the verbal abuse started. I was reluctant to get any closer to him and he would often blow up my phone with angry texts, a lot of name calling and emails. He started out so nice and sweet and I fell for it--by this time, I was in very deeply. I decided to contact his ex wife to see if this behavior was the norm for him. She was so sweet and kind---not the evil psycho he said she was. She told me she left because she couldn't take the verbal abuse or mental games. Out of the blue, an ex g/f contacted me and told me how mentally abusive he was and would start fights. He blamed me for his impotence--but the 2 ex's told me he had problems in the sack with them as well. I was beaten down mentally by this guy. He finally dumped me because he didn't like me talking to his friends or having any kind of mutual friend. (we went to the same school, there were a lot of mutual friends). He started restricting his wall so that I couldn't comment, only see it. Then he took his wall down completely, but still kept me on his friends list. Eventually he blocked me totally and had the nerve to demand that I delete any mutual friend. It was very tumultuous. He would initiate chats and say "I will always love you, we will always have chemistry, I won't ever find that with anyone else"=-literally the next day he would say 'STOP THE DRAMA OR YOU WILL BE SORRY". Eventually I stopped responding to him. The last text I got from him was 6 months ago asking how I was----he only does that when someone blocks him; thinks I am behind it somehow. He trashed me to his friends, had them cyber bully me and had many of them block me. He has told many that I am psycho--just like his ex wife and g/f. He used to trash other ladies to me as well, saying they gave him too much drama. It's taken a good year for me to heal from it and from time to time the wound opens--the other day someone told me he found someone new on one of the many dating sites he was trolling. Looks like the real deal. He is 44 years old and has been on these sites for years----even when he said I was his soulmate. I found out he was on them and he got furious with me. I have to wonder if he was this way with his ex g/f and with his ex wife and with me...will he repeat this with the new one or is she the 'one'. He seems to rebound so easily while he leaves others to heal and cry over his sorry butt. From what I'm told, she posts pictures of them two on his wall.----I tried to do that and he said "you do and you will be sorry". I am truly baffled; I have days when I don't think of him and then I have...days like this. I was hoping he would get some kind of karma, but seems he got away with it yet again:( Any input and sound advice would be helpful. Sorry for the ramblings, just wanted you to have some insight as to the stuff I was going through with this guy. I was in love with a fellow who didn't exist; his true colors came out and that 'nice guy' never returned. Thanks for being a sounding board for a confused lady:) Edited February 14, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Pocahontas36 Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Wow!!! this guy is something else!!! count your blessings he's out of your life!! I know it's hard when you love someone, but every day will get better no one deserves any type of abuse! you are so much better then that, keep telling yourself that even if it means looking in the mirror and repeating it a thousand times. He is a sick person and believe me karma is a bitch, just wait till it slaps him in the face!! my suggestion to you is clean up your facebook friends list.... you don't want to be able to see anything on there that will remind you of him, it's for the best... Get yourself out there either with good friends that will distract you or a potential mate
Author BewitchedandBothered Posted February 13, 2012 Author Posted February 13, 2012 My pride is still hurt; he abused me and now he's treating his new one like me and the others he hurt never existed--like we instigated this abuse in some way. I am nothing to him and thought I meant something. Now this new one is special. I do hope you are right about karma:(
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