Buttercup84 Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 Ok I was supposed to block him but contacted him last night . Last week I was going so well , I saw clearly what he was , I was slowly getting over him . Then I had such a bad week at work and then a friend of mine just " forgot " to invite me out with other friends and she hasn't been in touch . I just felt hurt . I had such a strong urge to contact him . It had been almost two weeks since he wanted me back then changed his mind . I thought I was coping so well , even my thearapist said she saw a shift in my emotions . How can I change so fast ? Sorry I sound so pathetic .
Chs Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 I know this too well! First we are sad, emotional and they hurt us again. We decide to move and and do really well and then suddenly another setback comes along. But honestly, all there is to do is keep on trucking. Every time you break NC and they let you down ,the will to do it again is reduced. Eventually you will just be tired of doing it. My would be anniversary has just passed and even though im still crazy about her this was the first major event i was able to resist contact on. I know you will reach the same point once.
esteem-jam Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 Honestly, I predicted that you would "slip". Ok, others will say that you have emotional connection to him still, and that is true. What happens now is this- you will try to get to him when you are bad, subconciously in hopes that he will comfort, hug and rub you and say everything will be alright. Now after several attempts of this "reaching out" you will see that he doesnt provide security and warmth to you. So some time in future you, as all human beings, again will have a bad day, its unavoidable, and again you will consider contacting him, but your mind will say "meh, nothing there", you will know that the outcome will be boring and not what you need, and you will seek comfort somewhere else.
CopingGal Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I know this well. You feel bad about one thing. Then something else happens and you feel bad about that thing too. You don't want to feel bad about two (or more) things, so you try to make one of the things that is hurting you...not hurt so much. I know it well. I know the trap. In my case it was much, much better when I contacted him....until the rug fell out from under me and I ended up being much worse off than I was before I broke no contact. Believe me when I tell you...it's just not worth it. In order for him to honestly and stablely be what you need, he would have to change....and change takes YEARS...if they want to do it at all. I truly, truly thought my ex (when we were together) was changing and I was soooo proud of him. Turns out it was all an act.
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