ditzchic Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I think I overestimate my attractiveness. I always say I'm a 7ish on the average day and while I never really had anyone tell me that I'm a beast.... I often get told that I resemble Helen Hunt. Helen Hunt is no 7!!!
Author ThaWholigan Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 I think I overestimate my attractiveness. I always say I'm a 7ish on the average day and while I never really had anyone tell me that I'm a beast.... I often get told that I resemble Helen Hunt. Helen Hunt is no 7!!! Ehh, depends on who you talk to. Like I was saying, one mans 7 is another man's 10
maybealone Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 As far as other people are concerned, I think I have very subjective looks. Some men think I'm hot, some men don't. That doesn't bother me. I will say, however, that I sometimes underestimate my body. I have been a size 4 for a year and I'm still not completely used to wearing fitted clothes and having men look at me the way they do now.
EnigmaticClarity Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I think I overestimate my attractiveness. I always say I'm a 7ish on the average day and while I never really had anyone tell me that I'm a beast.... I often get told that I resemble Helen Hunt. Helen Hunt is no 7!!! That's exactly what she is.
FitChick Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I am very realistic and try to make the most of what I've got, changing things when necessary. I am a work in progress.
monkey00 Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Some days I feel like I'm good looking when I look in the mirror, other days I feel like I'm average or meh. Lighting makes a big difference in how you appear, also certain hair styles can compliment your features or hurt it. So guys and gals who consider hair styles, consider it strongly when you go out and about. Once I had an ex call me wholesome as no one has called me that before, I was a bit thrown off by that compliment. But it felt good at the time she said it.
ScreamingTrees Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 When I was younger I always had positive comments about my appearance from adults, like my parents' contemporaries, but not from my peers. I only started feeling more confident about my looks once people my age affirmed my attractiveness. Anyone else been in that situation? This sounds like me, yep.
somedude81 Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I've never thought I was ugly; just average. Throw in the negative appeal I get from being short and I might as well have an arm growing out of my face. Even though women have called me cute or good looking online, I've never heard it in person. Add in the fact that every girl I have ever liked has rejected me and it becomes really hard to believe that I'm attractive at all. So no, I don't think I've been underestimating my attractiveness, more likely completely overestimating.
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I think that I did/do both. Before my ex and when I was online dating, I over-estimated my looks. I got so much attention and even weirder, guys kept telling me that I look much better in person (than even my best pictures). That's also the time that I was the heaviest weight-wise in my life. I was always aware that I look better when recorded in motion (than still images). I think it's mostly due to the fact that I am very animated and energetic and that makes me seem more attractive. During the relationship with my ex, my confidence went down steadily. He was always criticizing my appearance. He actually told me that I look worse in life than I do in my photos :/ He would also request lights out during sex, which really bothered me. His criticisms were sometimes subtle but they chipped away at me. When I confronted him, he would say that it's just down to his brutal honesty (that actually wasn't the case as he lied about other stuff). Anyway, I digress. A week after the break up, I had lunch with a really hot guy I met online (we had lunch today). He kept complimenting me and telling me that I am gorgeous. He also told me that I don't look like my pictures, but better. Now that I wrote this all down, I am stunned at how my confidence seems to be related to external validation
gaius Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 You always seemed like an attractive man to me Wholigan when you had your pic up. But then again I think Taylor Laughter is as ugly as can be and he was mentioned as the sexiest man around in another thread. If he came on here for OLD dating advice I can just picture all the women telling him to stop squinting in his pictures. So maybe I'm not the best judge.
Jynxx Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 But I think that for the most part, I am simply not what most men want and that I have to be happy with the crumbs men that give me a chance throw me while they lust atfer the really hot type of women hot guys to below average guys idolize. I've learned that wanting to feel and be beautiful is only for really pretty hot girls that men deem beautiful. But for average girls, wanting to feel or be beautiful to your man is an unrealistic standard and he deals with you and your average looks because of your sweet personality but really wants to bang the 18 year old stripper or pornstar he is jerking off to. So sometimes he has to picture these girls just to make it through a session with you because you are simply not good enough for the standards he's been used to seeing. And if you admit the honesty in this, people are likely to scream at you that you are "just insecure" and act like it's completely unfounded or wrong to feel insecure about the millions of visuals men are getting everyday about women and their bodies. I get what you're saying. It's frustrating to see girls go home with the guy with a spraytan, huge roided up muscles, an interest in nothing more complicated than wrestling or car tuning and an IQ that would help him avoid the death penalty. Retards like that don't have to do anything to be found attractive and will always be a girls first choice. I have to work hard to make her get over my looks, and even then she'd still leave me and go for the other guy the second she thought she had a chance with him.
Sugarkane Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Eternal Sunshine- Same thing happened to me.
Carlos S Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I have to say, it is heartening to hear that I'm not the only one who has days who thinks he's unattractive, and also days where he thinks he looks fairly good. It's also heartening to hear that I'm not the only one who finds him/herself looking lousy in photos. I do see a few really attractive women around (and men, as it happens) and I do admit wishing that I could look that good. I've looked in the mirror far too often and I think I've narrowed down what's "wrong" and "imperfect" about my face - there's nothing that can be done. Nobody's ever complimented me . But in the end, I also have to admit that it is pretty unreasonable to be disappointed at not looking that good, because those people are in the vast minority. It doesn't help that I quite (unfair, I would admit) high standards for female unattractiveness. Then again, I might not be the best judge of male attractiveness. Who knows, maybe I rate the looks of men with feminine facial features too highly. At least I'm in relatively good shape. I'm less than a month away from a body that could make the cover of 'Men's Health' if I eat right.
Carlos S Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I think that I did/do both. During the relationship with my ex, my confidence went down steadily. He was always criticizing my appearance. He actually told me that I look worse in life than I do in my photos :/ He would also request lights out during sex, which really bothered me. His criticisms were sometimes subtle but they chipped away at me. When I confronted him, he would say that it's just down to his brutal honesty (that actually wasn't the case as he lied about other stuff). Anyway, I digress. A week after the break up, I had lunch with a really hot guy I met online (we had lunch today). He kept complimenting me and telling me that I am gorgeous. He also told me that I don't look like my pictures, but better. Now that I wrote this all down, I am stunned at how my confidence seems to be related to external validation He seems like a total a-hole. And lights out? Good riddance!
iris219 Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I believe I’m realistic about my attractiveness level; I know my flaws and my strengths when it comes to my appearance. Based on the opinions of others, it seems I underestimate it. I'm often considered more attractive than I really am because I’m one of those people who’s deceptively good-looking. As a woman, a good body and long hair will get you noticed and categorized as attractive. In low light, almost anyone with these attributes can look like a supermodel! Really, men are simple creatures when it comes to the visual. That’s why I take it as more of a compliment when women find me attractive.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 ThaWholigan I aspire to do so with whomever I decide to have a relationship with, especially if I am to have children with her. I guess I am just an optimist like that. Well, it certainly is nice when a man doesn't conform to a beauty ideal that is often represented in pop culture. So many stars have eating disorders and get surgeries and we all sit around saying how fabulous they are while telling our own partners how they just need to understand how we like this or that but how they might not be as good looking and that we will thing of other people but they should be happy with that. Just makes no sense to me. It's crazy. Even regular girls want to feel beautiful and like they are their man's fantasy. Not like they are something their man puts up with because he likes her sweet personality. Adele is quite lovely and soft and feminine by the way. And it's awesome to see the success she has had despite not looking like Britney Spears in a school girl uniform. I think that you will make some woman a very lucky gf/wife someday Wholigan. While we do not always agree, (and you even look at porn which is going to be shocking to the people that think I can't like men that look at porn!), I think you are one of the most stand up people on this board.
xxoo Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Like Carhill, I simply don't consider my attractiveness much. But I have definitely reached the age where I look back at photos from young adulthood and think, "how did I not know how beautiful I was!" I do think beauty is very subjective. My husband thinks I'm killer-hot, and I know some other men in my life think I'm very attractive--but I don't think the average guy on the streets thinks I am highly attractive. Love makes an average person appear beautiful. It's ok with me if my partner is the only one who "sees" me as drop-dead gorgeous
carhill Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I do think beauty is very subjective. I'll give a personal example, bookending on a prior post commenting on Helen Hunt's 'number'. For me, historically, she's been an example of a good actress who was otherwise 'average'. However, when put into the context of t , she just leaped from the page in that regard. The 'average' melted away and was replaced by the superlative. That's what I'll term 'subjective'.
xxoo Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I'll give a personal example, bookending on a prior post commenting on Helen Hunt's 'number'. For me, historically, she's been an example of a good actress who was otherwise 'average'. However, when put into the context of t , she just leaped from the page in that regard. The 'average' melted away and was replaced by the superlative. That's what I'll term 'subjective'. Aw, that had my heart racing! Yes, in that scene, you could see her through the eyes of her beloved, and she was beautiful
Febreze Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Do you ever feel like you are better looking than you think you are at some points? Like I see pics of myself and think ":sick:", but then I look in the mirror and I walk down the street in some nice threads and I suddenly feel like I'm a sexy beast , lot of attention these days, was a bit overwhelmed! Been happening a lot recently, even though I haven't even started my proper workout regime yet, so God knows how that's gonna go down once I get into it . How have you underrated your own appearance in your life? I'm not sure that I underestimate it but I do realize that I'm not quite the looker I used to be even if tons of guys are still looking I exercise and eat right so my body is really fit like a younger girl but its really just a younger version of myself since I'm 35. People say I look late 20s. I guess that's a compliment but when men only see u more as just wanting to have sex with u over a relationship u cant help to wonder if you're really that attractive
Ross MwcFan Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Do you ever feel like you are better looking than you think you are at some points? Like I see pics of myself and think ":sick:", but then I look in the mirror and I walk down the street in some nice threads and I suddenly feel like I'm a sexy beast , lot of attention these days, was a bit overwhelmed! Been happening a lot recently, even though I haven't even started my proper workout regime yet, so God knows how that's gonna go down once I get into it . How have you underrated your own appearance in your life? What kind of attention did you get, how were the women acting? Sometimes I'll give myself an 8 or 9 out of ten, and then other times I think I'm a 0. So I guess I either totally either underate or overrate my appearance.
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