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Posted

...hidden in her drawer...that's odd, I don't think we've had intercourse since November or December...Ladies, how long would you go without a period before you started to wonder if you were pregnant? I'm wondering if a PI might not be in order.

Posted

Don't automatically jump to conclusions (and yes, I have read some of your other threads so I know there are issues in your marriage).

 

I have a test kit in my drawer - it is several months old from when I had a "late" month. All quite innocent.

Posted

Are you certain it is new? Check the expiration date. Maybe she stashed it a long time ago.

 

I'd probably take a test if I went 3 weeks late (only missing one period).

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Posted

But why even be concerned if you aren't having sex?

Posted

But you have had sex ! It may have been months ago but the test kit may be months old too. Don't just assume that she has bought it this month - it could be she bought it a year ago.

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Posted

Definately wasn't there a year ago...I'll investigate more...waiting to see if it gets used...she's also been investigating bacterial vaginosis online listed as something related to sexual activity

Posted
...hidden in her drawer...that's odd, I don't think we've had intercourse since November or December...Ladies, how long would you go without a period before you started to wonder if you were pregnant? I'm wondering if a PI might not be in order.

 

Since I'm on birth control, I'd wonder right away when my period was late. Even if I wasn't on birth control, I'd wonder if my period was late by a week or two. Sometimes it could be an infection, but if you're period is late by more than a week, a pregnancy test or a doctor's visit is best, especially if your period is never late.

Posted
...hidden in her drawer...that's odd, I don't think we've had intercourse since November or December...Ladies, how long would you go without a period before you started to wonder if you were pregnant? I'm wondering if a PI might not be in order.

 

Ask her why she has a pregnancy test. (Before you ask her, check the expiry date on it, just incase it's a very old one and she just never got around to throwing it out.)

 

Are there any other signs that she may be cheating on you? One pregnancy kit isn't enough to go on.

Posted

Depends if she has regular cycles or not.

I don't use any form of birth control as my husband has had a vasectomy. I usually buy a test kit after I'm around 4 days late. I am like clock work so being that late is not normal. I'm scared one day the vasectomy will reverse itself

Posted
...hidden in her drawer...that's odd, I don't think we've had intercourse since November or December...Ladies, how long would you go without a period before you started to wonder if you were pregnant? I'm wondering if a PI might not be in order.
I think you have a bigger problem: the fact that you haven't had sex in... you don't even remember the month. Are we talking about November or December of 2011? That's about 2-3 months!

 

I have a pregnancy test in my closet from a couple years ago. They sell two in a box, I used one and still have the other one. And not all bacteria are sex-related.

 

I have a feeling she is trying to make you jealous. Who's the one who isn't into sex with the other one: you or her? And how old are you guys, if I may ask?

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Posted

Record Producer, She is the one who isn't into sex. Our sex life was decent when dating, slowed down when we started living together and dried up upon marriage (15yrs and counting). Once a month has been the norm for a few years but in the last year or so it's been less. She does have issues surrounding anxiety, depression, possible bipolar, etc...we are in our early 40's.

Posted
Record Producer, She is the one who isn't into sex. Our sex life was decent when dating, slowed down when we started living together and dried up upon marriage (15yrs and counting). Once a month has been the norm for a few years but in the last year or so it's been less. She does have issues surrounding anxiety, depression, possible bipolar, etc...we are in our early 40's.

I am sorry to hear that. You don't have it easy. Can something be done to rekindle the romance?

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Posted
I am sorry to hear that. You don't have it easy. Can something be done to rekindle the romance?

 

 

I have tried for years. At this point I'm almost beyond caring to the point where when sex is "offered" I often consider passing on it.

Posted

Why don't you ask your wife why she has a pregnancy test "hidden" in her drawer when you two aren't having any sex?

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Posted
Why don't you ask your wife why she has a pregnancy test "hidden" in her drawer when you two aren't having any sex?

 

Well I am a little concerned about making an accusation with very flimsy proof. I'm at the point now where I am just trying to keep my eyes open.

Posted
Well I am a little concerned about making an accusation with very flimsy proof. I'm at the point now where I am just trying to keep my eyes open.

 

It doesn't have to be an accusation. You could say something like:

 

"Hey honey, why do you have a pregnancy test in your drawer? Do you suspect you are pregnant?"

 

Say NOTHING about the issue that you are not currently having sex, that will sound accusatory and probably cause her to be defensive. Don't break out the detective kit yet, ask her about it first and then decide how to proceed from there.

Posted
Are you certain it is new? Check the expiration date. Maybe she stashed it a long time ago.

 

 

My wife has a few in the closet that are at least 6+ months old...

Posted
First, I would take some digital photos of the pregnancy test and kit w/o wife's knowledge. That way you have evidence it existed if she disposes it after confrontation.

 

Then, I would simply take it out from the drawer or wherever it is, and confront her.

 

My opinion is that she is probably cheating since you are not having sex with her. And, if she thought she might be pregnant by you, she would have no reason to hide the possibility from you.

 

By the way, you don't have to make an accusation when you confront her. Just ask her why she has a pregnancy test, and why she hasn't told you she might be pregnant.

 

I do not see why you are afraid of confronting her with flimsy or even no proof. It is a question you have in your mind which she needs to address on way or the other.

 

What exactly are you afraid she is going to do to you? Leave you? I don't really see that as a downside in situations as you describe. You have a no sex marriage anyway and if she leaves you it would give you an opportunity for a fresh start with a normal woman who enjoys sex.

 

Take pictures and confront her.. confront.. not ask... it's a freaking PT fer gawd sakes.. every woman in the world that is sexually active has them floating around at different periods (no pun intended) of their life...

 

My gosh....

Posted
My wife has a few in the closet that are at least 6+ months old...

 

Haha, I think I still have some laying around from 8 months ago when I was trying to get pregnant! Clearly not a lot of use for them right now due to being pregnant!

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