seeker2010 Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 If it was me, I would hate you, hate you, hate you forever and ever, but I would have been happier to know it than not to know it.
bosunmate Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 I have been married 40 years so at this stage of the game i would rather not know...
jnj express Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 Hey Venus---the betrayed spouse has a RIGHT to know, so they can make an informed decision about how to deal with the rest of their life. The problem becomes, if/how/when they find out. You gave info., others give info, many times betrayed has a gut feeling, and finds out on their own, sometimes the cheater screws up and is forced to tell themselves, as in getting pregnant with lovers child, so there are many different ways to find out---but bottom line the betrayed spouse does have a right/need to know, that their partner is a cheater.
Prime Vera Posted February 19, 2012 Posted February 19, 2012 Hi Venus, I was informed of my H's A by the OW. The A had been going on for 10 years, though my H swore it was only 8.5. Hahahahahahahaha To answer your question, I did want to know. I only wish I had known sooner, like 5 kids sooner.... Think of all the different opportunities I would have had for my life. 14 years after the D, it doesn't matter to me who told me or what her motivation was. (She admitted she was informing me because she was pissed at him for lying to her all those years about leaving me for her someday.) When I think I might never have found out and stayed with that POS one minute longer than I did, I want to puke. I am very grateful for the information, regardless of how it was delivered or by whom. Sure it hurt, but the OW pulled the plug on a marriage that was, in my opinion, inevitably and utterly doomed to fail. She just hastened that. She did me a kindness, without meaning to be kind. If I could, I'd contact her and tell her how much better my life is today. I am married now to the love of my life. The kids are now grown and moved on. I'm not living a lie. I am no longer tied to a lying cheat. That makes all the pain of discovery worth it.
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