My Story

[RZ4life]

Background: Never had a girlfriend, She never had a boyfriend, both in college, I'm 20 and shes 19(very very shy, shes not a player at all, very respectful, and very fun to be around when u get to know her)

 

 

- I started liking this girl in college

- Asked her out first time, got a no and i asked her(because it didn't really sound like a no,) if we can ever more then friends and she said i dont think so

- first few weeks were incredibly ackward(but still made her laugh, and smile, anytime i wanted)

- A month or 2 goes by

-December comes, her close friend adds me on facebook i ask her why she wont tell me(i thought her friend likes me, but turns out she doesn't)

- She always talks about the girl i like as the topic

- one day i tell her friend how much i actually care for the girl i like(she put me on the spot, i figured if i say no i lose my chance for ever)

 

- She says thats sweet and thinks "someone might like you to" with a wink

 

 

- Fast forward to School, Things are back to normal, We have amazing time at lunch with a group of 4 of us(me and 2 guys, and her) and I'm 100% sure she knows because her friend told her

 

 

- Couple of days later my friend the guy i hang out with calls and says he has something to tell me, the girl told him about a new crush she likes(they are good friends, he likes someone else so its nothing between them) He mentioned the first guy D, and like a few other people in class, eventually the topic was changed. I felt as if he knew who it was, I had a gut feeling it was me. So i asked him "boys 2 boys if u knew she liked me you would tell me?" he said "honestly no i wouldn't because if i do that i would wrong her, and if i don't i would wrong you, If anything i might give u a little hint" So i was thinking was that the hint? anyways moving on

 

- few weeks later, I end up telling telling her truly my self how i felt because she needed to hear it from me the first time and told her if she was my girlfriend i would always treat her right and would never hurt her

 

- She said she doesn't mind that i like her BUT would have to think about being my girlfriend and said she never knew i felt this strongly about her

 

 

- Couple of days later she tells me she would tell me 2 weeks later(the 15th) (i told her i think the 1st of february) She said shes not playing any games(I believe her, Shes very shy and very respectful) she says she just needs to think and sort out her feelings and not say the wrong answer)

 

 

- Couple of days later again she asks me "would i be mad if she says something" me expecting the worse I say no ... It turns out she has a crush on me since december and thought i would get mad if she told me this late(she told me she has a crush on me after i spilled my heart to her few days earlier) But i was to happy about the news itself to care and i don't even see why i would get mad, She also told me the guy that called me and another close friend of hers, and the friend that added me on facebook randomly without an asnwer. All knew that she has a crush on me

 

 

- I ask her does this mean your my girlfriend now(I'm really straight forward lol) she said she will tell me on the 15th, And she keeps telling me that she is very nervous i quote "I have listened to my heart and searched my feelings deep down. I hope I made the right decision to go through with the answer."

 

 

- Why is she waiting till the 15th to tell me her answer if she already made up her mind

 

could it have something to do with valentine's day? does she just want us to start 1 day after it? She told me I am her crush since december(she really wanted me to realize since december, I guess she was worried i would be mad because she said no the first time i asked her out, and said she doesn't ever seeing us more then friends,), So If i am her crush why is she making me wait a few days. I even asked in present time if I'm still her crush and she said yes. Her best friend is very confident it will work out, All my friends are really confident she will say yes. But honestly I'm not so sure anymore.

 

I never had a girlfriend because i was shy. But since i met her i turned myself into an unshy person, She will literally greet people with her head down and is very quiet around people she is uncomfortable around. But I'm wondering based on all this what do you guys think? Should i just be patient a few more days or just ask her to tell me since she already knows her answer.

 

 

- She has no problems saying no like the first time(which she didn't to me,)

- She claims she has a crush on me(since december)

- but is making me wait a few days to see if she going to be my girlfriend? why?

- claims she still likes D but only as a friend for now(this was said back in November before she devoloped feelings for me)

 

 

 

 

- She may still like D, but D doesn't like her at all. And D knows she like or liked him in the past. She has had only 2 crushes in the school, D and Me and I'm the latest one. I really think D is out of the picture but i cant be 100% for certain. What do you guys think?

Edited February 10, 2012 by RZ4life

[Dust]

Yes it has something to do with Vday you genius. Have you ever even kissed this girl? Stop asking her to be your gf and if you are official and just kiss her. Also stop being imature and asking people and telling people about her. You just talk to her. KISS HER ALREADY YOU SCARED LOVESTRUCK FOOL

 

And yes do something for her on Vday. Ask her to be you're valentine get her candy or a cupcake or something and like some cutesy present like flowers and a locket. Then KISS her... Heck kiss her b4 vday. Get to it.

[RZ4life]

Shes very shy though and would probably think i may be going to fast for a kiss since shes not even my girlfriend yet, I was already planning on doing nice for her on that day. But a kiss maybe your right but if shes going to tell me if she wants to be my girlfriend on the 15th wouldn't it be like making her answer by returning the kiss on the 14th if shes going to say yes. Besides i may guilt trip into her kissing me since I'm going to do something special. I don't know this is my opinion i appreciate your input how ever.

[jobaba]

Is this a true story?

 

That's really messed up man.

 

Why would she turn you down the first time if she had a crush on you?

 

And then continue to play games with you?

 

This one's a little weird. I don't have any advice but let us know how it turns out.

[RZ4life]

sorry if i didn't make it clear but the first time i did ask her out it was like 2 weeks of knowing her, Around december is when she said she started liking me. I asked her out sometime in late october. And i will let u guys know how it turns out, I'm really confused to why she wont just say yes or no if shes likes and is waiting for that certain date to tell me.

[Ninjainpajamas]

She was probably into the other guy when you had asked her last time, which means she probably wasn't as interested in you at the time If that's what she had her eyes on.

 

However I think now that she's had time to kind of "get over" that crush, then she's going to try and move on. Since she's so shy though this is probably a slow and painful process for her, because she has to express how she feels...not just to you but for herself which is likely a long boring process

 

Anyway, If you really like this girl I think you should just start engaging her directly instead of doing this whole junior high crap, I know you guys are the crowd that lives on the edge or is exactly outgoing and extroverted but you at least should know when to be assertive...you can't just wait around your whole life, you need to start acting.

 

Also I'd be prepared for something this Valentines day, the fact that she said to wait after the 14th is obviously a clue, you can probably go out and get her something small for it. The only concern I have is maybe she wants to avoid this Valentines day and just kinda not have you get her something or make a big deal out of it, since it's the beginning.

 

You're going to have to communicate with her and try to get a feel for what she wants and needs, you'll have to ask questions. And then you'll need to just make moves more confidently in the future.

[RZ4life]

She was probably into the other guy when you had asked her last time, which means she probably wasn't as interested in you at the time If that's what she had her eyes on.

 

However I think now that she's had time to kind of "get over" that crush, then she's going to try and move on. Since she's so shy though this is probably a slow and painful process for her, because she has to express how she feels...not just to you but for herself which is likely a long boring process

 

Anyway, If you really like this girl I think you should just start engaging her directly instead of doing this whole junior high crap, I know you guys are the crowd that lives on the edge or is exactly outgoing and extroverted but you at least should know when to be assertive...you can't just wait around your whole life, you need to start acting.

 

Also I'd be prepared for something this Valentines day, the fact that she said to wait after the 14th is obviously a clue, you can probably go out and get her something small for it. The only concern I have is maybe she wants to avoid this Valentines day and just kinda not have you get her something or make a big deal out of it, since it's the beginning.

 

You're going to have to communicate with her and try to get a feel for what she wants and needs, you'll have to ask questions. And then you'll need to just make moves more confidently in the future.

 

 

She was also wondering if she does become my girlfriend will i make a big deal out of it to which i said no, she said she would like to keep it private for a few weeks if she says yes(which i have no problem with,) It's as if she is afraid of getting into a relationship, I mean everything is there we both like each other. Is it different for girls that never had boyfriends? do they need more time mentally to prepare for something like this? I hate to say it but i feel like she may like me personality wise, but not physically attracted to me. well either way i appreciate all your inputs

[Ninjainpajamas]

It's good that you're honest with yourself, because she probably isn't crazy about you physically. But don't worry, it doesn't mean she can't develop feelings for you still and she won't become attracted to you through other qualities.

 

I think the problem may be that you want to put it out there and kind of don't feel like it's something you need to hide. For her, it's a personal thing that takes time for her to become comfortable with, she needs to gradually get there before she puts her life on blast...with you, and everyone else. Maybe she's a little cold-footed as well.

 

What you need to do is just give her the time she needs, you need to accommodate to what she needs If you really want to be with this girl, you may not understand it or get it and like It will probably take time but there's no reason to rush it, why make a big deal out of this at this point If the ultimate goal is to be with her and in a relationship, and then It'll be out in the open later on?

 

If you want to be with her, you've got to be understanding and play by her rules and not question so much. If not then you'll likely start to push her away if you can't be understanding in her eyes, I'll tell you now though of course this isn't typical...but when it comes to relationships It's not about what others think It's about what you want and your ability to compromise...so consider this in a way, the beginning of your relationship.

 

With that being said, give it some time, but If she doesn't eventually warm up to you that might not be the relationship for you.

[RZ4life]

I ended up getting her a valentine card and a nicely written Poem, Good news is she told me her feelings for me were getting stronger and stronger and I'm the last person she thinks about being going to bed. Also said that the card made her the happiest she ever felt, and said she would love to be my girlfriend.

 

 

Awesome.. How ever today she seemed even more shy then usual. She told she was just feeling tired and not feeling well which i believe. She is very shy and our mutual friend usual sits next to her, but i figured since were past the part of just being friends i would sit next to her today(she came in late and sad to the right of him,

 

basically 2 seats away from me) They been long time friends and she told me she is really likes me and stuff. Yet when i talk or look at her there is no eye contact, conversations are pretty boring as im doing all the talking. she texted me saying I didn't do anything wrong encase i thought so(which i did lol, glad to hear it's not on my end)

 

I didn't do anything out of the ordinary today still treating her like a friend. But tommorow we are going our first date(games and movies.) It will be interesting to see how she reacts to boyfriend/girlfriend stuff( hand holding etc..)

 

 

Hopefully tommorow we can really hit it off.