Whisky1981 Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 So I need some advice how to maybe win over this girls heart. I`ve met this girl on dance lessons and I will be dancing with her for another 2 months. From the first time I saw her I really liked her (ok I know it was just the looks). I talked with her a couple of times and she mentioned that she broke up with her boyfriend 3 months ago. I didnt ask why because I didnt want to intrude her personal life too much. The problem is that she isnt very talkative, I do the most of the talking and if I dont initiate the conversation the whole scene would remain silent. The problem is that I really am running out of things to say . So ok all this seems like she really isnt interested in me. Lets talk about clues that make me think otherwise (maybe is just my imagination). I invited her for a drink and she gladly accepted (we talked for about an hour and a half), when I dance with her she really seems to enjoy it and at times I almost sense that she seeks stronger physical contact (again it could be just my imagination). She is always polite but she seems really shy and nervous at times. So till now I have invited her for a drink and I have suggested to drive on dance lessons together which she both accepted....I think I will stop inviting her to places now and wait for her to give me a sign. But after the last dance lesson I kind of sensed some rejection from her part, when I told her I will call her she said Yes we will hear each other for setting the time we`ll meet for the next dance lessons (as if she made sure I wont call her for something else). I dont know, I am really puzzeled by this girl. On one hand she acts as she isnt interested and she wants to keep a certain distance. On the other hand she is always polite and she accepted to go for a drink. Sometimes I would swear that she is very shy (really strange for a hot woman like her) and other times I would tell that she just dosent care. So how can I break the ice with her and start talking more about personal things. It has been more or less only small talk between us till now. I really dont want to rush this and screw it up. I have to dance with her for another 2 months so I dont want to see her run off . Help me GIRLS and GUYS . Thank you in advance for your advices!
Dust Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Just ask her out and make out when you run out of things to say. You know you like her so just do it already, the longer you wait the more the window closes if there ever was one.
FitChick Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 This is what I've been telling men on here forever -- take dancing lessons if you want to meet women! Very few men know how to dance.
Shaun-Dro Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 So I need some advice how to maybe win over this girls heart. I`ve met this girl on dance lessons and I will be dancing with her for another 2 months. From the first time I saw her I really liked her (ok I know it was just the looks). I talked with her a couple of times and she mentioned that she broke up with her boyfriend 3 months ago. I didnt ask why because I didnt want to intrude her personal life too much. The problem is that she isnt very talkative, I do the most of the talking and if I dont initiate the conversation the whole scene would remain silent. The problem is that I really am running out of things to say . So ok all this seems like she really isnt interested in me. Lets talk about clues that make me think otherwise (maybe is just my imagination). I invited her for a drink and she gladly accepted (we talked for about an hour and a half), when I dance with her she really seems to enjoy it and at times I almost sense that she seeks stronger physical contact (again it could be just my imagination). She is always polite but she seems really shy and nervous at times. So till now I have invited her for a drink and I have suggested to drive on dance lessons together which she both accepted....I think I will stop inviting her to places now and wait for her to give me a sign. But after the last dance lesson I kind of sensed some rejection from her part, when I told her I will call her she said Yes we will hear each other for setting the time we`ll meet for the next dance lessons (as if she made sure I wont call her for something else). I dont know, I am really puzzeled by this girl. On one hand she acts as she isnt interested and she wants to keep a certain distance. On the other hand she is always polite and she accepted to go for a drink. Sometimes I would swear that she is very shy (really strange for a hot woman like her) and other times I would tell that she just dosent care. So how can I break the ice with her and start talking more about personal things. It has been more or less only small talk between us till now. I really dont want to rush this and screw it up. I have to dance with her for another 2 months so I dont want to see her run off . Help me GIRLS and GUYS . Thank you in advance for your advices! The more time you waste giving her "time" to think about this, the worst it will be for you. Just take her at face value and ask her out again, but only this time, you make a move. That will clear things up.
Author Whisky1981 Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 Thank you for the advices. I wish I had all that courage to just ask her directly what she thinks...but I dont have it . Beside that I have to spend the next two months with this girl dancing once a week. It would be really awkward if she would reject me to continue dancing together.
Dust Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Thank you for the advices. I wish I had all that courage to just ask her directly what she thinks...but I dont have it . Beside that I have to spend the next two months with this girl dancing once a week. It would be really awkward if she would reject me to continue dancing together. You have the courage if you just do it. If she says yes or no just be cool about it and dancing the next 2 months will be fine. Waiting for her to ask you out or give you some kind of signal like "please ask me out" would be foolish. You already wanted to date and kiss her so I don't know why you needed premision from us but GO FOR IT! Just do it! Don't be a somedude81 about your dance classes. Be a Whisky1981! and do it! come back and update us after you've asked her out! Remember just be cool whether she says yes or no. No reason to freak.
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Being that she just broken up with her boyfriend about 3 months ago, depending on how long that's been she might not be ready and willing to jump out into the dating world. Therefore taking the advice of the others may just make you look like an aggressive kinda douchy opportunist (but that's just my opinion). I think it's wise to handle each situation depending on the facts on hand, I wouldn't be aggressive in every situation or lack it in others. For example IF she was being flirtatious and inviting and you didn't make a move then you're being a coward. But If she's being a little stand-offish but still at the same time giving you the time of day, that means she's likely interested or at least curious, she might just need to take it slow. It's important to work at a woman's pace If you really want to get to her, but If you'd rather be caesar and come barging into the door like a conquerer you can do that as well. There is a time and place/situation for everything. You have to be the judge of what you should be doing, rely on your instincts and make a move If you feel that is what is calling, but If you feel some apprehension from her but that she still likes you then don't push it too hard or she'll run off like a scared cat then go home and listen to Adele while crying over her ex-bf. I would say take your time, get to know her and try to get closer to her, building her trust and a relationship, not that you're some guy coming in for a whirlwind...that's the difference between the impression you can make be being aggressive when you shouldn't. When you invest with women, It usually pays off, as long as you're not being a chump and holding their interest I don't see why she would "unlike" you. However to be blunt, you can argue with the attachment women get once the penis is the vagina, but that's up to you how you play that. For me personally, I'm in no hurry...I could take it or leave it, but If you want her to be your gf I would play it as I'm suggesting. I don't operate off of "fear" of her losing interest, especially If I'm already in the picture, but that takes a bit of confidence not to be overcome by that.
Author Whisky1981 Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 Being that she just broken up with her boyfriend about 3 months ago, depending on how long that's been she might not be ready and willing to jump out into the dating world. Therefore taking the advice of the others may just make you look like an aggressive kinda douchy opportunist (but that's just my opinion). I think it's wise to handle each situation depending on the facts on hand, I wouldn't be aggressive in every situation or lack it in others. For example IF she was being flirtatious and inviting and you didn't make a move then you're being a coward. But If she's being a little stand-offish but still at the same time giving you the time of day, that means she's likely interested or at least curious, she might just need to take it slow. It's important to work at a woman's pace If you really want to get to her, but If you'd rather be caesar and come barging into the door like a conquerer you can do that as well. There is a time and place/situation for everything. You have to be the judge of what you should be doing, rely on your instincts and make a move If you feel that is what is calling, but If you feel some apprehension from her but that she still likes you then don't push it too hard or she'll run off like a scared cat then go home and listen to Adele while crying over her ex-bf. I would say take your time, get to know her and try to get closer to her, building her trust and a relationship, not that you're some guy coming in for a whirlwind...that's the difference between the impression you can make be being aggressive when you shouldn't. When you invest with women, It usually pays off, as long as you're not being a chump and holding their interest I don't see why she would "unlike" you. However to be blunt, you can argue with the attachment women get once the penis is the vagina, but that's up to you how you play that. For me personally, I'm in no hurry...I could take it or leave it, but If you want her to be your gf I would play it as I'm suggesting. I don't operate off of "fear" of her losing interest, especially If I'm already in the picture, but that takes a bit of confidence not to be overcome by that. That is exactly what I am thinking. I kind of sense from her mood swings and behaviour that she might be still hurting from the break up. She is 29 years old and probably for a woman the break up at that age hurt so much more. As I wrote I dont want to scare her off and therefor I am trying to get to know her. The only problem is that she has a kind of barrier that I cant breach to know her more profoundly. The small talk is getting boring and here is where I really am scared that I will lose her interest once the awkward silences pop up too often. That said I am not the one night stand kind of a guy. I have never been a guy like that. I search a woman to live with not one for some fun. So probably the better way is to keep it slow. Thank you for your time and clever thoughts. You have the courage if you just do it. If she says yes or no just be cool about it and dancing the next 2 months will be fine. Waiting for her to ask you out or give you some kind of signal like "please ask me out" would be foolish. You already wanted to date and kiss her so I don't know why you needed premision from us but GO FOR IT! Just do it! Don't be a somedude81 about your dance classes. Be a Whisky1981! and do it! come back and update us after you've asked her out! Remember just be cool whether she says yes or no. No reason to freak. Thank you man. I really would like to be a guy like that. Hell I always dremt to be like that. Then I wouldnt care as much as I do. Maybe if the slow approach will go in clearly the wrong direction I will take your advice and go for it. Thank you again .
Dust Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 That is exactly what I am thinking. I kind of sense from her mood swings and behaviour that she might be still hurting from the break up. She is 29 years old and probably for a woman the break up at that age hurt so much more. As I wrote I dont want to scare her off and therefor I am trying to get to know her. The only problem is that she has a kind of barrier that I cant breach to know her more profoundly. The small talk is getting boring and here is where I really am scared that I will lose her interest once the awkward silences pop up too often. That said I am not the one night stand kind of a guy. I have never been a guy like that. I search a woman to live with not one for some fun. So probably the better way is to keep it slow. Thank you for your time and clever thoughts. The best way to get to know a girl you're romanticly interested in is to get to know her romanticly. You can't small talk and friend your way into a relationship with her. You're only giving more time for her to meet some one else who isn't afraid of getting rejected. Thank you man. I really would like to be a guy like that. Hell I always dremt to be like that. Then I wouldnt care as much as I do. Maybe if the slow approach will go in clearly the wrong direction I will take your advice and go for it. Thank you again . If you want be that guy and always dreamt of it the DO IT! Thats who you really are then. The rest is just you being afraid. Time to be yourself, the best verson of yourself and just do it! It will be a rush you'll be the guy you always wanted to be. The slow approach is pointless if thats not who you are. You need to be yourself man! Don't get so hung up on one girl you don't even really no. If you ask her out and she says no, then you can do the slow approach. Girls like it when a guy just acts normal like nothing happened after getting rejected. Better yet she'll say yes and you can start dating, kissing and getting to know her for real!
Shaun-Dro Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 The best way to get to know a girl you're romanticly interested in is to get to know her romanticly. You can't small talk and friend your way into a relationship with her. You're only giving more time for her to meet some one else who isn't afraid of getting rejected. If you want be that guy and always dreamt of it the DO IT! Thats who you really are then. The rest is just you being afraid. Time to be yourself, the best verson of yourself and just do it! It will be a rush you'll be the guy you always wanted to be. The slow approach is pointless if thats not who you are. You need to be yourself man! Don't get so hung up on one girl you don't even really no. If you ask her out and she says no, then you can do the slow approach. Girls like it when a guy just acts normal like nothing happened after getting rejected. Better yet she'll say yes and you can start dating, kissing and getting to know her for real! Listen to this guy, OP. Stop investing so much into this woman you hardly even know. Just ask her out fast, if she says no, continue on like nothing happened. If she agrees to date you, just move in for the kill. Either way, only slow down if she wants you to. As a man, you don't think of that.
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