Peace&Love Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I've been seeing a guy I met online for a month now. We've been keeping it to one date a week and things are progressing at a good pace. However, he hasn't asked me out for Valentine's Day. I figure that: 1) He already has a date with someone else. 2) He forgot. 3) He doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. Granted, I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day at all, but it's such a convenient test. I can't help but use the dumb holiday to gauge where this is going. We haven't had any conversations about whether we're both still seeing other people, if we're looking for a relationship, expectations, and where this is heading yet. I know he's still active on the site, but I don't know if he's definitely talking and seeing other girls. (I hate these questions and insecurities.) Do you think I should just initiate the conversation? Or will it scare him off? Should I hold off on it? If I wait, how much time should I give it?
veggirl Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 At a month in, I think it's totally fine to ask him if he is seeing other people. I don't, however, think it's okay to expect something for Vday, imo Vday is iffy early on in the relationship -- I wouldn't expect a Vday date really even after just a month.
Onlyjonley Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 When it feels right, have the conversation. If you've only been seeing one another once a week for a month, I'd say that's too soon to move into a relationship. Give it time and don't rush things. Also, if you want to hang out with him on Valentine's Day, don't be afraid to bring it up. Ask him what his plans are.
yeahyeahyeah Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I'd say at 4 dates in a month (if I'm understanding things correctly), it's too soon to talk about where the relationship is going. In my mind, I'd think, what relationship? Also, I would go either way on a Vday date at the pacing you guys are at.
tigressA Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 If you really want to, go ahead and have the talk. But being completely honest, it's best if you let him think that exclusivity is his idea. By that I mean don't be the one to bring it up, and if he vaguely mentions it, be nonchalant. Don't get all serious on him. Don't be consumed entirely with how things are going with him. The best way to do the above naturally is to live your life, enjoy your interests, go out with your friends--heck, go out with other guys if there are still some catching your eye. If you keep yourself active, you won't have time to wonder about your as-yet non-relationship with this guy. And he will eventually step up and make an effort to be part of your life. This includes exclusivity. If he doesn't, you know he wasn't interested, and because you are out there living your life you won't be nearly as down about it. It's a win-win.
momo81 Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Agree with what tigress says. Keep busy, be patient and has hard as it may sound, try and go with the flow. You'll know when the right time is to have "the talk".
Leigh 87 Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 I met a guy online, JUST before V day, last year.... We still hung out for V day. Neither of us cared where our " relationship" went, either.. we just saw each other, and kept seeing each other sexeral days before V day... We were not seeing anyone ELSE: therefore, for V day, we just naturally hung out. On the other hand, you have only had 1 date a week; where as me and my current boyfriend, saw each other every 2 days at least, leading up to V day.... I would say he is either: ---- only seeing u and is interested or is OPEN to a relationship with u, but is too afraid, as u are, to make the first move, namely asking u out on V Day... --- He is just having fun with u,, ONLY u, and likes u enough to see you occasionally,. but does not like u intensively enough to knwo if V day is a thing he wants with u... -- He is seeing other people and seeing where it goes with u, BEFORE launching into V day festivities with ANY of u ( meaning he lieks u enough to be unsure as to which girl to stick with) -- he is just having fun with u, and while he enjoys his time with u, is not into u enough for V day. PRob seeing other people if this is the case. Basically, either he likes u enough to be OPEN to a relationship, or he DOES think he wants a rewlationship: but is too uncertain to ask yet... OR, he does not lie u enough, is seeing other girls, and is NOT SURE or HE ALREADY KNOWS he does not want V day with u. --
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