69ways Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 for the people that hope for an apology. Used to date this girl 5,5 years ago, a bit after we broke up I met the woman that brought me here. ANW I caught her in a night club , hand in hand with a bloke, so I exploded,she got thrown the flowers in the face I bought for her plus, she got soaking wet after I spilled a bottle of water over her and told her to never ever try to find me again. NC for 5,5 years and today get a friend invitation from her. It happened that we have a common friend which I did not know. Basically she apologised and said she felt really terrible all these years and tried many times to find me and it should never happened. Well I said it was ok but she hurt me but was happy she found me. she looks amazing btw but she is not single...... This shows that people that hurt us come around.....
Ajax Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 It's interesting when they do. A month or so after the ex who landed me here at LoveShack left, another ex of mine who'd hurt me several years before sent me a similar Facebook message apologizing for the way she'd treated me. We hadn't talked in two or three years, and by this time I was firmly in the downward spiral from my more recent ex. I forgave her and told her I had no hard feelings. We chatted for a while and caught up. She was engaged, but had felt guilty for how she's felt she mistreated me (she had). I told her what was going on with me and how I was having a hard time coping with having been hurt by someone else. She gave me some insight and advice. Even though I was hurting over someone else, her apology did make a difference to me. We still occasionally catch up. She's married now and just had her first child last month. As for the ex that brought me here... who knows what the future holds. At this point, I neither expect nor desire any contact or apology from her, just like I hadn't from the previous ex. I would be surprised if she ever made the effort. Last I saw her was at my friends wedding, and she wouldn't even acknowledge my existence. Wouldn't even glance in my general direction. But I suppose time does things to people, and anything's in the realm of possibility.
Dark Phoenix Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 for the people that hope for an apology. Used to date this girl 5,5 years ago, a bit after we broke up I met the woman that brought me here. ANW I caught her in a night club , hand in hand with a bloke, so I exploded,she got thrown the flowers in the face I bought for her plus, she got soaking wet after I spilled a bottle of water over her and told her to never ever try to find me again. NC for 5,5 years and today get a friend invitation from her. It happened that we have a common friend which I did not know. Basically she apologised and said she felt really terrible all these years and tried many times to find me and it should never happened. Well I said it was ok but she hurt me but was happy she found me. she looks amazing btw but she is not single...... This shows that people that hurt us come around..... You missed the reconciliation attempts.
Ajax Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 You missed the reconciliation attempts. The OP never indicated he wanted to reconcile. And even if he did, she's not single.
Dark Phoenix Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) he did and still does she looks amazing btw but she is not single...... if he didnt have that thought cross his mind this line would have never been posted, this is an emotional cue Edited February 10, 2012 by Dark Phoenix
Ajax Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 he did and still does [/b][/u] I guess I just don't see how it's relevant to the original post. And I think you're reading too much into that line. In my case I would also have said that the ex who apologized to me looked amazing and was not single. But that didn't mean that either of us wanted to reconcile and give the relationship another chance. Some people reconnect to apologize, set things right, and move on. There isn't always an ulterior motive. If my most recent ex who brought me here contacted me and apologized for how she handled things I'd appreciate it, forgive her, and probably post it here, but wouldn't wish to further pursue a relationship with her. Would that be me missing reconciliation attempts?
Dark Phoenix Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) You are only looking at the story from your perspective, you cant detach from your situation and see all the angles. Why would you post the same story here? It means you're still hung up on the past. You havent let it go. "Yah my ex apologized to me after 2 years I am finally free" For those 2 years you were reliving that relationship breakup in your mind over and over and over again. You can say I have moved on all you wont but people that post these posts, emotionally have not moved on, they still care enough YEARS later to come on ls make a post about this. Actions speak louder then words - the act of making a post like this speaks louder then the words of someone saying I dont care I have moved on or I am moving on Another example, this girl I have been talking to has been joking with me about taking a trip to hawaii and wanting me to come along. She told me she was laying in bed trying to figure out how to make it work. It has nothing to do with a trip to hawaii, she was planting seeds. If we are able to separate trip to hawaii (the situation) out of the picture and put in night at the comedy club, shes telling me she wants to spend more time with me in her own words. The action of her thinking about us doing more stuff together is by far more important then the words or the situation Edited February 10, 2012 by Dark Phoenix
Author 69ways Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 Maybe you should also apologise for exploding the way you did back then, throwing flowers in her face and soaking her with water?. You sound like a real nice guy! Listen our ex's are not monsters. There is stuff that goes on in relationships that both will regret down the line. If you get an apology great, but they should not be necesssary. Forgive them, wish them well, take control of your life and move on. No apology necessary or required. Most of our ex's like oursleves have done things they regret. Made mistakes. It's called life. My ex was cruel to me at times. I don't wait by the phone looking for an apology. I don't need it. I know he is a good guy and in time when he reflects, matures and grows as a person there are things he will regret. Most of our ex's figure that out. Afterwards some apologise, some don't. The people that are secure, confident and content in life never need or require apologies from their ex's. Think about it.. Yes maybe I should apologise after she said that some guys have been harassing her on the beach and then I find her kissing and holding hands with one of them while I went to the night club with a bunch of roses.... Or maybe I should apologise after she said she never did anything but the guy said they been seeing each other for a week... Yep I should have just walked up and tapped her on the shoulder and said....Hi I see you are having a great time, dont mind me I will be on the side until you finish and then I will give you these flowers I brought for you..............
Author 69ways Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 You missed the reconciliation attempts. Who said I am interested to get her back, yes she looks great but so what, so do 100000000 other women......
Author 69ways Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 he did and still does if he didnt have that thought cross his mind this line would have never been posted, this is an emotional cue I posted to give courage to users that believe their is no hope.....Maybe you guys should be asking ME and not make conclusions.....
Dark Phoenix Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Who said I am interested to get her back, yes she looks great but so what, so do 100000000 other women...... Im going to leave this thread alone... Good luck convincing yourself of things
Author 69ways Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 Im going to leave this thread alone... Good luck convincing yourself of things LOLOL you better do , because you dont know me man , I dont need to proof anything to you or any other users here m8
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