soserious1 Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Yes there are the people who get in lengthly email interactions and such. The bigger issue I have seen people speak of here is that a meeting never comes. As soon as the issue of a meeting is raised they loose contact. That happens too much, to too many different people for it not to mean something. That's why it's important to set up first meetings quickly & be willing to move on if the person stalls.
ThaWholigan Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 POF is the worst of the sites in terms of the quality of people on it. It's far better than Craigslist, which is the dregs, but it's worse than most of the others. OKCupid has the best site software and features, but it just doesn't have enough people on it. Match is by far my favorite...I presume having to pay money motivates people to decide more quickly and put more effort into their profile and weeds out a lot of less-desirable people. I used POF because it has more Black/Mixed raced girls on it in my area. I'd date white girls too, but I live at home, and mum doesn't like the interracial dating much, which is annoying .
Sith Apprentice Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) The only men who get responses on POF are over 6 feet tall and have abs. You don't need anything else in that sewer. Trust me when I tell you these chicks are only responding to the best looking dudes with the best bodies. Believe me, if you're below average height or even slightly overweight you won't get any responses from that site. Even the morbidly obese whales think they deserve a GQ model. I know a few guys who lie out of their azz and pretend to be rich to get responses. The qualities women look for on that site are completely irrelevant when it comes to forming relationships. Another problem is the ego and high standards that these women have - due to the attention they receive on there. This is their own little world; here they are the hot commodities that they can't be offline. Naturally, this gets to their head, and they become arrogant and conceited - just like those who are "hot" in real life. They attention *****, tease, jump from guy to guy - all despite being average or worse. Much like the hotties - they do it because they can. This is where they have options, can flake, and act like morons / *****es, and get away with it. Mostly though, men only want them for sex. They don't seem to understand that not everyone hot guy has high standards when it comes to sex (many have none at all), and let it get to their head regardless. They're so hot and in-demand - when the only thing they are is delusional. That's why all of these average, crazy women complain about being used for sex on there - its all the men want them for, and give false compliments to achieve it. This happens, or at least used to happen, in real-life as well. A lot of average chicks were sought after for sex because they were easy to bag. That didn't stop them from gaining a huge ego and acting extremely arrogant, however. The same thing is happening on POF. They're all crazy, desperate, and delusional. They blame the men, and claim they only want them for sex because they're so hot - when its really quite the opposite. They tell them they're hot - despite being average - so they can bag them, and ditch them immediately afterwards. Horny, desperate guys will always seek after the easiest girls... POF is where they go. And the girls do the same thing, because its the only arena where average, crazy *****es can get attention. And that's what you end up with: a lot of crazy, desperate people in one place. Makes it easier to avoid them, at least. Edited February 12, 2012 by Sith Apprentice
mesmerized Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Another problem is the ego and high standards that these women have - due to the attention they receive on there. This is their own little world; here they are the hot commodities that they can't be offline. Naturally, this gets to their head, and they become arrogant and conceited - just like those who are "hot" in real life. They attention *****, tease, jump from guy to guy - all despite being average or worse. Much like the hotties - they do it because they can. This is where they have options, can flake, and act like morons / *****es, and get away with it. Mostly though, men only want them for sex. They don't seem to understand that not everyone hot guy has high standards when it comes to sex (many have none at all), and let it get to their head regardless. They're so hot and in-demand - when the only thing they are is delusional. That's why all of these average, crazy women complain about being used for sex on there - its all the men want them for, and give false compliments to achieve it. Not really...I like to think I'm an attractive girl and I get a lot of compliments in the offline world, but online dating has been awful for me! On POF, guys only seem to message girls who put the sluttiest pics (or model quality pictures) up and if you're not willing to do that, you don't really get messages from good looking guys. And yes, I tested my theory by making an account with a dolled up slutty pic of me. I do NOT get a lot of attention online from good looking men, I get more of it in real life. Most of the attention I get online are from ugly, fat, or old men who would not approach me lets say in a bar cause they know I would not give them the time of the day. Yet when it comes to online, they shoot for much hotter than they are. I'm sure some women get a lot of attention online, probably the hottest women who put slutty pictures up. But an average or even attractive woman with normal pictures is a totally different story.
Sith Apprentice Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 How many messages do you receive in an average month? I guarantee you it's way more than the average male user who gets no responses at all. If you're only getting meaningful responses with your slutty pics and you're not an actual slut then I recommend getting off that site ASAP. Plenty of Fish is nothing more than Adult Friend Finder, and Ex-MySpace wh0res rolled into one convenient online lay catalog. Men have wised up to POF. Just look at the reviews of guys about POF. You won't see any men nowadays talking about that wondeful woman they decided to wife up from POF. It's pump and dumps only. Don't go there if you want a boyfriend.
mesmerized Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 How many messages do you receive in an average month? I guarantee you it's way more than the average male user who gets no responses at all. If you're only getting meaningful responses with your slutty pics and you're not an actual slut then I recommend getting off that site ASAP. Plenty of Fish is nothing more than Adult Friend Finder, and Ex-MySpace wh0res rolled into one convenient online lay catalog. Men have wised up to POF. Just look at the reviews of guys about POF. You won't see any men nowadays talking about that wondeful woman they decided to wife up from POF. It's pump and dumps only. Don't go there if you want a boyfriend. The number of messages is high when you first sign up and with time it goes down substantially. The number of messages doesn't matter that much in my opinion as the percentage of desirable men who message you. I get very few desirable men online messaging me. My confidence has gone down, not up, since I started the online dating thing. And maybe the average male doesn't get many responses because he goes for the hottest girls only? My guy friends who do the online dating are extremely picky about a girl's attractiveness. They too only message girls who have some type of model quality pictures of themselves up or are all dolled up. Anyways, I think at the end of the day, unlike the myth, online dating is the same for men and women. They all mostly go for the most desirable members of the opposite sex. The rest won't have much luck getting attention, females or males.
Sith Apprentice Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 If it's hurting your self confidence then stop using that junk. You may want to try a pay site instead. Most guys I knew and myself included practiced the shotgun method. Message every woman in your area that was remotely attractive and hope to get a few meaningful responses. Some guys I know had no standards at all in who they messaged. A 0-10% response rate was par for the course. One guy I know put it best, "when an obese, unemployed, single mother with 3 kids doesn't respond you know it's a waste of time." Guys who are extremely picky are probably new to the scene and haven't come down to reality yet, but if he's got the abs and over 6 feet then he'll get his pick of the pump and dump litter. I personally don't consider myself hard up on looks at all. My only physical deal breaker is I won't date someone who's morbidly obese, but everything else is debatable.
phineas Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Key word is "desirable". What does that mean? The definition of "undesirable" = Average to everyone else for the eternally single women I know.
phineas Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 The number of messages is high when you first sign up and with time it goes down substantially. The number of messages doesn't matter that much in my opinion as the percentage of desirable men who message you. I get very few desirable men online messaging me. My confidence has gone down, not up, since I started the online dating thing. And maybe the average male doesn't get many responses because he goes for the hottest girls only? My guy friends who do the online dating are extremely picky about a girl's attractiveness. They too only message girls who have some type of model quality pictures of themselves up or are all dolled up. Anyways, I think at the end of the day, unlike the myth, online dating is the same for men and women. They all mostly go for the most desirable members of the opposite sex. The rest won't have much luck getting attention, females or males. Bah. dble post / meant to quote. LOL. Not attacking you. Key word is "desirable". What does that mean? The definition of "undesirable" = Average to everyone else for the eternally single women I know. Are the guys you know going for those women because their photo's are model type or because those women aren't trying to hide how out of shape they really are like most of the other people on POF by only providing head shots & listing themselves as slender or athletic? and are you friends really just average or do they fit into your category of undesirable. and lets be honest, there are no model types on POF. see, you could be one of those women with inflated standards that we are talking about so we really don't know if you are just average or not & if the guys messaging you are average or below. POF is a meat market either way. I personally know two attention whores in real life that are on POF. Neither woman is as hot as they think they are & both are eternally single and leave a wake of men they used as place-holder's behind them. Men that most women would love to have as a BF. Men that went on to date hotter women. (and you should of seen the shameless flirting these women did to get that guys attention from the hotter woman) LOL!
mesmerized Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Bah. dble post / meant to quote. LOL. Not attacking you. Key word is "desirable". What does that mean? The definition of "undesirable" = Average to everyone else for the eternally single women I know. Are the guys you know going for those women because their photo's are model type or because those women aren't trying to hide how out of shape they really are like most of the other people on POF by only providing head shots & listing themselves as slender or athletic? and are you friends really just average or do they fit into your category of undesirable. and lets be honest, there are no model types on POF. see, you could be one of those women with inflated standards that we are talking about so we really don't know if you are just average or not & if the guys messaging you are average or below. POF is a meat market either way. I personally know two attention whores in real life that are on POF. Neither woman is as hot as they think they are & both are eternally single and leave a wake of men they used as place-holder's behind them. Men that most women would love to have as a BF. Men that went on to date hotter women. (and you should of seen the shameless flirting these women did to get that guys attention from the hotter woman) LOL! lol, it's definitely not because those women are trying to hide something. A normal natural picture just doesn't get attention online I find unless the picture is very unique in some way or the girl in it is a very naturally beautiful. When my guy friends send me the pictures of girls they like, they usually have some kind of slutty pose and cloth or a lot of makeup. The funny part is, both of these guys claim they like a natural girl without makeup!!!!! I think guys don't know what they want. I'm not sure where in the attractiveness spectrum I fit. Depends on what one likes in a woman. I do know that I'm not attracted to most of the guys messaging me there. And I would rather be eternally single than be with a guy I don't feel any sexual attraction for.
phineas Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 lol, it's definitely not because those women are trying to hide something. A normal natural picture just doesn't get attention online I find unless the picture is very unique in some way or the girl in it is a very naturally beautiful. When my guy friends send me the pictures of girls they like, they usually have some kind of slutty pose and cloth or a lot of makeup. The funny part is, both of these guys claim they like a natural girl without makeup!!!!! I think guys don't know what they want. I'm not sure where in the attractiveness spectrum I fit. Depends on what one likes in a woman. I do know that I'm not attracted to most of the guys messaging me there. And I would rather be eternally single than be with a guy I don't feel any sexual attraction for. Then here is the question, do you feel you are as hot as the women your friends are seeking? I don't care if their slutty or not. Do you match them in looks? If not then you are too picky if you arn't finding someone you are attracted to. I'm willing to bet if an average woman messaged your average friends they'd respond to her & try to set something up. also, I did a search on POF for 25 miles in my age range +/- 4 yrs of 40. MIND IS BLOWN. So much cleavage. so many slutty pictures. So many women not looking for anything serious. I gotta say, if by summer time I haven't met anyone on match i'm trolling POF with the 6-pack I plan to have by Memorial Day weekend. LOL!
mesmerized Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Then here is the question, do you feel you are as hot as the women your friends are seeking? I don't care if their slutty or not. Do you match them in looks? If not then you are too picky if you arn't finding someone you are attracted to. I'm willing to bet if an average woman messaged your average friends they'd respond to her & try to set something up. also, I did a search on POF for 25 miles in my age range +/- 4 yrs of 40. MIND IS BLOWN. So much cleavage. so many slutty pictures. So many women not looking for anything serious. I gotta say, if by summer time I haven't met anyone on match i'm trolling POF with the 6-pack I plan to have by Memorial Day weekend. LOL! Some of them yes, some of them no! But I'm not the best person to judge my own attractiveness. In any case, my friends are really not that hot lol those women are mostly out of their league. Again back to my point that guys go for women much better than they are and why I'm feeling frustrated at all these unattractive men messaging me. Lol of course. Women feel like they have to have those kind of pics to get men there...Just like how men feel like they have to show off their body. Like you said, its a meat market.
Cracker Jack Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Yeah....I can honestly say that online dating just isn't for me. I tried to do it at one point, but for the most part, I just never had any momentum in it. Got a few responses here and there, but it usually never went anywhere. I even messaged women who were bigger than me who complained about being overlooked, but to no avail. I think I'm better off focusing on women offline.
phineas Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Some of them yes, some of them no! But I'm not the best person to judge my own attractiveness. In any case, my friends are really not that hot lol those women are mostly out of their league. Again back to my point that guys go for women much better than they are and why I'm feeling frustrated at all these unattractive men messaging me. Lol of course. Women feel like they have to have those kind of pics to get men there...Just like how men feel like they have to show off their body. Like you said, its a meat market. Do you message men or do you just wait for them to message you?
mesmerized Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Do you message men or do you just wait for them to message you? I messaged guys too. Response rate is something between 40 and 50% for me. But almost every guy I messaged and he responded turned out to be a douche or crazy/stalkerish lol. So I don't message guys that much anymore.
FitChick Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I had decided to take a break from OLD until April or May but a dating site I haven't been on for two years had a free messaging offer for this Valentine's Day weekend, so I thought I'd take advantage. I don't email guys but I favorited several. This morning my email box is overflowing. Of course, many of them didn't bother to read my profile (what else is new?) but the ones who did were very complimentary, calling it the best written profile on the site. I take pride in my writing and I like a man who can communicate. So we shall see if anything develops, as all of the men live very far away. Worst case scenario is I'll make a few friends to visit when I go on vacation.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 I had decided to take a break from OLD until April or May but a dating site I haven't been on for two years had a free messaging offer for this Valentine's Day weekend, so I thought I'd take advantage. I don't email guys but I favorited several. This morning my email box is overflowing. Of course, many of them didn't bother to read my profile (what else is new?) but the ones who did were very complimentary, calling it the best written profile on the site. I take pride in my writing and I like a man who can communicate. So we shall see if anything develops, as all of the men live very far away. Worst case scenario is I'll make a few friends to visit when I go on vacation. I really hope something pans out for you. It's always nice to at least have a worthy prospect around this time of year (spring). It just bothers me to see so many people made miserable by OLD and all the extra BS that goes on with it. Then all the adverts those sites have which make them seem like a fool proof way to, at least meet someone.
Sith Apprentice Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) Those adverts crack me up. "connect with other members on 29 different dimensions for lasting love." "Let Dr. Phil show you the way." It's all just a romantic version of Bro-science. A more accurate advert would be "Don't trust any woman with a POF account." Yes! Please let me wife you up princess! I'll be the "one" you settle down with". LMAO. Edited February 12, 2012 by Sith Apprentice
Zaphod B Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 (edited) Sure it can be frustrating and there are a lot of game players out there, but I have had huge success with online dating. One long term relationship. One short term one and now another one just started that is awesome. Plus I've got lots of sex and cool dates out of it. And beautiful educated women too. I'm sold on online dating. So much more effective than traditional methods. People make a lot of rookie mistakes when it comes to online dating, but you can usually improve your chances of finding someone genuine by applying a few strategies. Edited February 13, 2012 by Zaphod B
Zaphod B Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 What I am saying is what this study is saying that OLD is no better than meeting in a bar. Then the study is flawed. I was hopeless at meeting people in a bar and even now I find it difficult. OLD was a God-send for me because it enabled me to break the ice with written messages. By the time we met, they were already keen to meet me and sitting down to talk to them face-to-face was a breeze. Whereas OLD may not be a blessing for everyone it opens up doors to a large portion of people who are not good in social environments like bars and places like that. It really depends on your personality and with what environments you are comfortable meeting people.
Zaphod B Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 That's why it's important to set up first meetings quickly & be willing to move on if the person stalls. Yep. You've got to learn how to weed out the game-players. If I get a person who seems like a lot of effort, I'll just come out and ask them if they want to meet up. If they won't or try to stall, then I move on.
turt Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 The number of messages is high when you first sign up and with time it goes down substantially. The number of messages doesn't matter that much in my opinion as the percentage of desirable men who message you. I get very few desirable men online messaging me. My confidence has gone down, not up, since I started the online dating thing. And maybe the average male doesn't get many responses because he goes for the hottest girls only? My guy friends who do the online dating are extremely picky about a girl's attractiveness. They too only message girls who have some type of model quality pictures of themselves up or are all dolled up. Pictures are very important online since you're missing your other attractive properties. A person who looks great a real life may look average or less in a picture. You don't have to look like a "slut" either. The only reason these types of photos attract more messages is because photos do show attractive bodies in the same way as real life. The face is complex, the body isn't. My advice is to get a DSLR or someone with one. Get a great photo of your face and if you have a nice body, take full body shot. Again, you can still look professional and you'll get more messages this way.
mesmerized Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Sure it can be frustrating and there are a lot of game players out there, but I have had huge success with online dating. One long term relationship. One short term one and now another one just started that is awesome. Plus I've got lots of sex and cool dates out of it. And beautiful educated women too. I'm sold on online dating. So much more effective than traditional methods. People make a lot of rookie mistakes when it comes to online dating, but you can usually improve your chances of finding someone genuine by applying a few strategies. I'm guessing you're an attractive guy...for an attractive guy it's easy to get anything, from sex to relationships with great women. For an attractive woman it's only easy to get one night of sex. And relationships are only easy if she is willing to downgrade.
mesmerized Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Pictures are very important online since you're missing your other attractive properties. A person who looks great a real life may look average or less in a picture. You don't have to look like a "slut" either. The only reason these types of photos attract more messages is because photos do show attractive bodies in the same way as real life. The face is complex, the body isn't. My advice is to get a DSLR or someone with one. Get a great photo of your face and if you have a nice body, take full body shot. Again, you can still look professional and you'll get more messages this way. I can get other better pictures but since I've been there a few months, I don't know why I feel weird to just suddenly put a much better picture up? I feel like guys might think It's out of desperation which is probably true lol
turt Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 I'm guessing you're an attractive guy...for an attractive guy it's easy to get anything, from sex to relationships with great women. For an attractive woman it's only easy to get one night of sex. And relationships are only easy if she is willing to downgrade. From what I've seen, it's pretty equal except that women will get asked on dates much more obviously. If an attractive woman ends up only getting one night of sex, it's her own fault.
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