Lucky555 Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 How do I proceed :/ My bf of 14 months has not said "I love you" it's making worried. On a gift he got me he wrote "love" and his name but is this odd? He talks about the future with me, I have been around his family, and I feel lie I want more than what I'm getting. We can only see each other three Times a week and we work really far from each other. It's tough sometimes. 2.finances: I am working on advancing myself and I work full time. I don't make a lot but I am working and paying bills. However my bf has two automobiles he is making payments on, is in debt for over 500,000 with investments, and he hopes to one day make a return on them. At first I was ok with some debt but now he is doing another investment with money he doesn't really have! It worries me because I want kids and a house we Pay off! I feel like we might not have a future if he is broke. Also we were talking about the future and he says he wil have to support his parents one day financially because they are bad with money. He is good to me but I'm feeling les detached lately because of these circumstances. Any advice?
jerbear Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Is he an entrepreneur? You know him better than us. If he is an entrepreneur, prepare for calculated risks. At first glance, you do not seem to understand what he is trying to do? Depending on the age group you two are in. Taking business risks is not a big deal.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 You have two completely separate issues here, neither of which you've given us much detail on. You have the ILY issue. Do you feel like he loves you? Does he do nice things for you, contact you frequently, give you attention and affection? Honestly at over a year I would bring it up. I don't place the entire relationship value on three little words, but a year and a couple of months is more than enough time to know how you feel about someone. You have concerns about his finances. This is something you mostly need to decide for yourself. You have the facts laid out for you: he's in serious debt and isn't exactly responsible with what income he does have (having two cars and making more investments he can't afford). Those are things that are unlikely to change, and it's not really something you can "talk" to him about since you aren't married and it is his money. Have you expressed concern about his financial well-being? Sounds like you need to start being open and honest with this guy. If you love him, tell him how you feel, lay out your concerns (gently), and go from there. We can't really help you with this...you have to help yourself by talking to your guy.
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 14 months and he hasn't said I love you? Lemme guess: you haven't met his folks, right?
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 That's nothing short of absurd Lucky, that you've been with this guy for 14 months and he has not said he loves you. Therefore I don't think he is really considering a future with you, that is a ridiculously long time to say those feelings...I guess the only favor he is doing you is not telling you something he doesn't really mean. I hate to be cruel to you but how in the world do you go out with someone that long and not walk away with love? the first thought that comes to my mind is that you're extremely insecure to tolerate that kind of behavior or emotional level, is that what kind of life you that you want? Then on top of it, the guy doesn't even have a future with 500,000 in the hole, that means It's going to be dependent on you to bear the financial burden and contracts when signing leases or what not. He doesn't sound responsible with money or his choices, why does he need two automobiles he is making payments on? He sounds like the typical guy trying to live like he's got it when he really doesn't just to have some shiny things to make it look like he does. It may look "cool" to the outside...actually it doesn't even really matter to people in the end, but in reality your financial security is more important than showboating or living it up. He seems to have taken after his parents. Honestly I couldn't imagine how this guy could treat you so well to make up for all of this, If I were I'd run as far as I could, this sounds like a disaster and huge waste of your time and emotions, he's not going to "change" or "come around" one day and it'll all be perfect, I hope you wake up and smell the roses before you've thrown away years of your life for someone like this...think about yourself, why do you think you need this kind of life? uh, so frustrating.
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