Adelle Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I am really broken up over my the break up of my bf and i. Its soo complicated but to put it in a nut shell he broke up with me the other day. I feel that he has been extremely selfish lately. About a week or so ago he mis read my text and freaked out. It was a text to remind him to clean out his trash the next time he stays over in my room. i understand he was in a bad mood that day but he was wayy out of line so we had an argument over the phone via text and he blocked my number also blocking me on FB. Granted we both said some nasty things but it took every ounce of self control i had left not to say anything messed up til the end. The worst part of all is that he kept texting me regardless even though i couldn't respond back. I was greatly hurt by the insults and 6 or more days of being completely ignored except the barrage of texts i was receiving. i couldnt block his number because my phone is a pos and didnt want to go through the bs of changing my number so i created a false profile on FB to contact him through there. i feel like a fool for that now but i was soo hurt and really wanted to express my feelings and thoughts to him. He has done similar in the past and i finally lost it. He told me he was done with me and that i was was not worth his time so i decided to take my roommate's advice and signed up for 2 dating sites. i figured it was over. a couple of days later we talked and apologized. later in the evening he was on my computer and apparently found the dating site i signed up for and even managed to into my FB account and read the correspondence between my roommate and i regarding the dating site. Now he knows that i messaged some dude and hates me for it. I explained to him that the only reason why i signed up for that site was due to being broken up with and was bombarded with 7 days worth of negative texts while blocked. i also told hm i loved him and did what ever i could to reassure him that the dating site was a distraction from feeling like complete total crap. i even deleted the 2 profiles. Anyways, i thought we were going to pull until i ended up waking up to another batch of texts stating that we cant be together because of the dating sites i signed up for. he basically went off on the guy i messaged and i feel that he pinning the whole thing onto me. Granted i signed myself up for the match site but what was i supposed to think after everything he did? he wouldn't even meet up with me in person during the week he blocked me from his life. granted i can understand the hurt he feels but i feel that my feelings are being ignored. I am so torn up right now and still love him this hurts
CopingGal Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I am so sorry that you are hurting. But he sounds like an insensitive bombaclot. Did he usually treat you badly? Maybe you should look at this as a blessing in disguise. I dated a guy that was a lousy boyfriend. He got on his knees and begged me to take him back. I did. I told him that we would have to go to counseling. We did, but taking him back was still one of the worse mistakes of my life. He lied to the therapist again and again just like he lied to me. He is a true, blue, bombaclot. I hope you can see that this may be is a blessing in disguise. I'm never going to have another boyfriend that makes me cry as much as he did. I will leave first. I hope you do the same.
Exit Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Well, don't get me wrong, I'm not at all blaming you for the situation, but is it really necessary to get on a dating website days after a breakup? I know we don't always think rationally when we are hurt, but all it did was cause you more problems in the end. It's not that it's "wrong", you did technically believe that you were dumped and single, but we all know arguments don't always last and apologies are given eventually, and you shouldn't need to hop on a dating website that instant. But that's the only thing I'd say was slightly your fault. Being ignored and blocked is so, so, so immature. It is such a quick and easy way to target someone and make them feel like they are worthless to you. The fact that he did that is pathetic, he wanted to make you feel like dirt, and the fact that he continued to text you while you couldn't respond is insane. Being ignored is actually mental abuse. I was not aware of this myself, it seems so common in our society to expect that people throw fits and get quiet for a while until they get over it, so I learned to accept it. But lately it's been brought to my attention how abusive it really is, and it's not acceptable. It is a mental torture tactic that sends the message "you mean nothing to me, I have no interest in what you have to say". I wouldn't say you exactly got the "silent treatment" since he kept contacting you, but I still think all these behaviors fall into the same category, and maybe reading this site would help. http://abuse101.com/silenttreatmentandabuse.html It's also immature of him to care that you got on the dating website and blame it on you, instead of realizing it was his own stupid actions that created this situation. He can't expect you to do anything other than take his actions at face value, you were blocked and ignored and you thought it was done. He sounds really immature, I'd almost even go so far as to say his behavior sounds like something I'd expect more from a girl with the blocking and ignoring tactics. Your feelings ARE being ignored, and that is what is tearing you up inside. I put up with a person who did this type of stuff to me and my self esteem is in shreds. She really made me feel like less than human. I'd say just leave the situation alone, the only one who really owes an apology at this point is him, and either he will come around to realizing that, or you're better off without him. 1
Author Adelle Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 Thank you guys i really needed to hear that. It really sucks to have the man you love totally disregard you as a person. I mean all he talks about is what "i did" and the dating site everything else is non existent to him as if i just decided to open an account on match.com for the hell of it. His argument is soo transparent that i actually thought i was the one who was going crazy.
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