PhillyDude Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 LOL, I had a 2 hour conversation on IM with this female and then at the end I gave my number and I never heard from her Another female exchanged emails with e back and forth and when I left my number, I never heard from her Another female I contacted said she was in a relationship which may have been creative REJECTION lol So from this point on, IM conversations are OVER, and I'm not sending no more than 3 EMAILS on the site. The last email will include my number I feel like a fool wasting all my time and energy and they are on the other side of the screen laughing. TONIGHT, is a NEW NIGHT
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Why in the hell are you giving out your number? You're the man, you do the pursuing and contacting. It's not the other way around, you really expect a woman to contact you by just fishing out your number? I consider that to be a little desperate. If women want you to contact them, they will usually give you their number or If they like you they will give it when you ask. You're jumping the gun way too fast and scaring women off, not attractive.
Author PhillyDude Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 Why in the hell are you giving out your number? You're the man, you do the pursuing and contacting. It's not the other way around, you really expect a woman to contact you by just fishing out your number? I consider that to be a little desperate. If women want you to contact them, they will usually give you their number or If they like you they will give it when you ask. You're jumping the gun way too fast and scaring women off, not attractive. I gave my number after 9 or 10 emails, you act like I gave it as soon as she responded back to my initial email. And most women don't like to give out their number online and prefer the guy to give their number first.
USMCHokie Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I feel like my quality of life increased tenfold after I recently closed all my online dating accounts...
SJC2008 Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I'm with everyone else on this on. You ask for the number, don't give out yours. If they are afraid to give their # out online they shouldn't be online. Also, stop IMing for hours, do you want a date or a pen pal? I usually get the # on the third email. I'm not scolding you as I'm no Cassanova but I've come a long way.
veggirl Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Yeah, cut the IMing and endless emails. Definitely a great plan! I don't understand why people insist on "screening" over months of IMing and stuff....usually creates too big of expectations etc. You should be asking for their # AND including yours in the same email. "I'd like to talk on the phone, can I get your #? Here is mine .. "
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Ninja and SJC are telling the truth, PhillyDude. Do not give your number unless she wants to exchange numbers. You always ask for her number. If she will not give you her number, it means she isn't interested. Do not take her email, nor do you give your number. Virtually every woman has a cell phone these days. There's no reason why a woman who likes you wouldn't give you her number. Secondly, do not spend hours, or even half an hour messaging or texting women you are not in a long-term relationship with. From my experience, women find a guy truly lame if they spend a lot of time before asking for their number. A woman expects a dude to ask for her number quick (within 15 minutes of meeting her). If you take longer, it will click into your head that you are a wuss who has little experience talking to women. That means your no longer bf material. You shouldn't spend a crapload of time IM or emailing back and forth. Save that stuff for the face to face encounter. Those women you met online might have been interested in you. However, when you took to long to ask for the number, you were no longer bf material. But they kept talking to you because they adored the attention.
Author PhillyDude Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 Ninja and SJC are telling the truth, PhillyDude. Do not give your number unless she wants to exchange numbers. You always ask for her number. If she will not give you her number, it means she isn't interested. Do not take her email, nor do you give your number. Virtually every woman has a cell phone these days. There's no reason why a woman who likes you wouldn't give you her number. Secondly, do not spend hours, or even half an hour messaging or texting women you are not in a long-term relationship with. From my experience, women find a guy truly lame if they spend a lot of time before asking for their number. A woman expects a dude to ask for her number quick (within 15 minutes of meeting her). If you take longer, it will click into your head that you are a wuss who has little experience talking to women. That means your no longer bf material. You shouldn't spend a crapload of time IM or emailing back and forth. Save that stuff for the face to face encounter. Those women you met online might have been interested in you. However, when you took to long to ask for the number, you were no longer bf material. But they kept talking to you because they adored the attention. The only reason I was IMing for 2 hours was because the Football game was on and I was occupied. So I was like..."Wow I watching the sport I love and communicating with a New Hottie at the same time." So I only made an exception because of the game. On a normal night I would not be on IM at all
Author PhillyDude Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 Also in response to those of you who said I should ask for their number I stopped doing it because women ONLINE always seemed paranoid about giving out their number. Plus I come from the Telephone dating world where I would give my number and told her she can call me and block her number So I didn't want to come off too aggressive and ask for the number
SJC2008 Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Understood if that's the way it WAS so what's the harm of trying something new? Everyone is saying you should ask for the number because it's true. If a woman who is interested and truly came to a dating site to date and not for an ego boost she will give you her number within 3 emails. I've gotten 5 numbers in the last 2 months. I'm average looking, cute at best and seem to be able to get #'s. Now that's when I get a reply, but that's a different topic.
turt Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Don't expect anything online. If they are really interested in you, they'll message you first.
El Brujo Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 By doing meetups instead of online, I turned the tables and made fools out of women (and some men who pretend to be women). Though they sure don't appreciate it...
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I don't know If it's just because you're frustrated and defensive over some of the comments in your post or this is your normal demeanor but PhillyDude, you at least to me give off this abrasive, car sales man vibe. Like... "Hey yo I'm Scotty, whats up toots...I gotta great deal for ya...how about you and me go out to dinner and I'll win ya a nice stuffed animal from one of those games you throw the rings on the bottles, how does that sound eh?, It'll be fun, so here's my numba, when you get around to it you pick up the phone and give me a jingle and I'll be out the house with my gold chain ready to mingle, you take care now beautiful" Ok maaaybe I'm exaggerating just a little bit! But really, especially with online dating you don't want to pressure a woman. I see a lot of guys pick up on online dating as the new trend and way of meeting people, so they give it a try and strike out left and right because they can't understand why their short in your face encounters are wooing the ladies out of their chairs. It takes a little personality guys, it takes some charm, some wit and If you've got a funny bone now is the time to use it (without sounding like a middle-aged joker who laughs at everything he says). It's not for everyone, so If you prefer the hit and miss strategy of the real world then go out and socialize or to your local bar or what not, get around people, meet people and they might have friends you can date or whatever. Online dating takes a bit of a craft, and It's not difficult In my opinion nor low-success rate. You just gotta take your time, invest more time in getting to know people...because you're still a stranger that this woman has never met or seen in real life and It's going to take some motivation for her to meet you in most cases. If a woman is interested in you, she will make the offer...If you'd like to just ask them out until one says yes, then you better at least develop a little charm and for lack of a better term "game" If you want to peak the likes of a lady and separate yourself from the mass cattle of other men constantly hitting on these women.
Mrlonelyone Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 By doing meetups instead of online, I turned the tables and made fools out of women (and some men who pretend to be women). Though they sure don't appreciate it... How do you mean "men who pretend to be women"?
El Brujo Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 How do you mean "men who pretend to be women"? If you have to ask, you'll never know.
Emilia Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 If you have to ask, you'll never know. (10 char)
NYC-BigKat Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 The only reason I was IMing for 2 hours was because the Football game was on and I was occupied. So I was like..."Wow I watching the sport I love and communicating with a New Hottie at the same time." So I only made an exception because of the game. On a normal night I would not be on IM at all These people on here are right so u should listen to them really u should. I always talk alot to girls & then get rejected. My frnd hardly says anything & always gets to take them out & do things with them so I get jealous but I know its some of my fault. I think u should listen to people here and stop making excuses 'cause u cant win with it.
PrincessPeach Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 It's weird if a guy gives me his number, especially if he doesn't also ask for mine. It feels like he is forcing it upon me and I'm a lot less likely to call when he does this. It's like those people who mindlessly hand out fliers on street corners, they hand me what to me is almost always a piece of trash that I throw it away as soon as I can. However, if I notice they are handing out something I am interested in, I might go ask for it and would likely follow through with whatever it is. Phone numbers are kind of like that. Asking is more likely to create your desired outcome than giving. Giving is like saying: "Here, take this because I don't want to put in the effort or have the responsibility myself to call and set things up, so you do it instead." Asking is akin to saying: "I am interested enough that I will take the initiative to see where this might go."
PlumPrincess Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 It seems there are two kind of guys. Those who like the chase (or accept it as part of being a man) and those who don't. The latter are those who think women should chase them, so they complain, because they don't get approached or they give out their number expecting to be called. Usually the guys who chase manage to get dates with women, while the guys who wait don't.
Cypress25 Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 The other posters are right. You should be asking for the girl's number. If she's not comfortable giving out her phone number, she'll say so. But giving out your own number is like telling the girl that you want her to pursue you. Might as well have "Beta Male" tattooed on your forehead. Or you could skip the phone call entirely and just ask the girl out for coffee, but you have already expressed your desire to delay the face-to-face meeting as long as possible. Personally, I don't give my phone number to people I've never met, no matter how much I like their online persona. And I'm not going to call him, because then he'd have my number. If I'm talking to a guy online who insists on having a phone call before we meet, I just move on to someone else. Talking to a stranger on the phone is mad awkward; I much prefer our first conversation to be in person. I bet those "females" who never called you felt the same way. They probably wondered why you were asking them to call, when you should have been asking them out.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 The other posters are right. You should be asking for the girl's number. If she's not comfortable giving out her phone number, she'll say so. But giving out your own number is like telling the girl that you want her to pursue you. Might as well have "Beta Male" tattooed on your forehead. Or you could skip the phone call entirely and just ask the girl out for coffee, but you have already expressed your desire to delay the face-to-face meeting as long as possible. Personally, I don't give my phone number to people I've never met, no matter how much I like their online persona. And I'm not going to call him, because then he'd have my number. If I'm talking to a guy online who insists on having a phone call before we meet, I just move on to someone else. Talking to a stranger on the phone is mad awkward; I much prefer our first conversation to be in person. I bet those "females" who never called you felt the same way. They probably wondered why you were asking them to call, when you should have been asking them out. I don't know I always ask for the phone number just in case something comes up (I offer mine as well). Last year I had made plans to meet up with a girl and we had a huge unexpected snow storm come up. As I was away from a computer I wouldn't have been able to cancel without a phone number.
Cypress25 Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I don't know I always ask for the phone number just in case something comes up (I offer mine as well). Last year I had made plans to meet up with a girl and we had a huge unexpected snow storm come up. As I was away from a computer I wouldn't have been able to cancel without a phone number. That's OK because you had already made plans to see her in person. Exchanging phone numbers was simply a "just in case" measure, which is fine. What PhillyDude is doing, however, is pushing for a phone conversation before even asking the girl out. That's obnoxious because it puts the girl in the uncomfortable position of being forced to give her contact info to a complete stranger. And then the even more uncomfortable position of being forced to have an awkward 20-minute phone conversation with said stranger. He's adding a cumbersome and unnecessary step to the process.
Shaun-Dro Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 That's OK because you had already made plans to see her in person. Exchanging phone numbers was simply a "just in case" measure, which is fine. What PhillyDude is doing, however, is pushing for a phone conversation before even asking the girl out. That's obnoxious because it puts the girl in the uncomfortable position of being forced to give her contact info to a complete stranger. And then the even more uncomfortable position of being forced to have an awkward 20-minute phone conversation with said stranger. He's adding a cumbersome and unnecessary step to the process. The OP needs to grow a pair and hit up women in public, wherever he may see them. Online is bogus nonsense and should be used as a last resort. I also feel the OP is taking these women too serioulsy. I mean, seriously?
laotzu Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 I've never given my number to girls on the net, I've always asked for their number and then called them. "Giving" your number is so passive, I'm not surprised they're not interested. Ask for numbers, call girls. It's still 1950, it's just text based. The basic psychologic imprints haven't changed.
PlumPrincess Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 The other posters are right. You should be asking for the girl's number. If she's not comfortable giving out her phone number, she'll say so. But giving out your own number is like telling the girl that you want her to pursue you. Might as well have "Beta Male" tattooed on your forehead. Or you could skip the phone call entirely and just ask the girl out for coffee, but you have already expressed your desire to delay the face-to-face meeting as long as possible. Personally, I don't give my phone number to people I've never met, no matter how much I like their online persona. And I'm not going to call him, because then he'd have my number. If I'm talking to a guy online who insists on having a phone call before we meet, I just move on to someone else. Talking to a stranger on the phone is mad awkward; I much prefer our first conversation to be in person. I bet those "females" who never called you felt the same way. They probably wondered why you were asking them to call, when you should have been asking them out. If he absolutely wants to talk on the phone, he should be the one to take responsibility for the situation. If she knows how awkward it can, she is certainly not going to call him, that's like asking for punishment.
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