cerridwen Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 Women are just as apt to do this... I hope you're right...the woman who is 18 years older than me is coming to visit tomorrow... Wow, great! Good for you! Live a little. OP, older men simply develop a greater appreciation for youthful beauty as they inch closer and closer to death. It's fairly basic. Enjoy the admiration, lass!
jobaba Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) I was at a formal evening work event the a couple weeks ago and I went by myself as had no one to go with, which didn't really bother me. A couple of collegues husbands made a comment which I didn't quite understand.. They are both older than I am but they both asked me why I'm single and why I couldn't find a guy to invite with me as my partner. They both said I am a "bonnie lass" (I don't agree with this.. but everyone is entitled to their opinion) and am independent, intelligent, etc and they just couldn't understand why I was there by myself. This isn't the first time that older men have made comments like this to me. So I guess my question is, are these men just trying to make me feel better? Or if they are being truthful, why do guys my age not find me attractive, when according to older men I'm a "good catch"? As you get older, does your view on what is attractive change? Hard for me to say. I AM old, but I've never really been shallow. If anything, I'd say it's broadened my horizons. I'm in the same boat as you though. When I was in my 20s a lot of my older relatives and older friends of my parents knew used to tell me I was handsome and why didn't I have a girlfriend. No girl my age has EVER called me handsome, not even women I've dated. I think they were just being nice, but that doesn't mean you're not pretty. Men have a wider range of what they find physically attractive. Chances are you will fall within that range if you get out and about enough. Edited February 10, 2012 by jobaba
FitChick Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 In a middle-aged man's profile you often read that they are "young at heart," "look younger than their years" (they never do) and "age is just a number" in referencing themselves, but all the women they date must be younger, even drastically so and must have current photos. Who is kidding whom? Yet after they've been rejected many times by younger women, they will eventually broaden their search. When contacted I innocently reply, "I think you must have made a mistake as I am much too old for you." Wanker! I had never wanted marriage or kids so was quite happy being single. Until I met a certain man and everything changed. I thought I'd found Mr. Right and got engaged. One part of the equation that gets lost, however, is timing. You can find the right person at the wrong time. A very difficult lesson to learn.
FitChick Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 ...the woman who is 18 years older than me is coming to visit tomorrow... I'm so excited for you! Hope everything works out for the best.
soserious1 Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I think it's very possible to look at a person & acknowledge their physical attractiveness while also realizing that said person is too young/too old for you to consider pursuing.
Negative Nancy Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 In a middle-aged man's profile you often read that they are "young at heart," "look younger than their years" (they never do) and "age is just a number" in referencing themselves, but all the women they date must be younger, even drastically so and must have current photos. Who is kidding whom? Yet after they've been rejected many times by younger women, they will eventually broaden their search. When contacted I innocently reply, "I think you must have made a mistake as I am much too old for you." Wanker! I wholeheartedly agree
spookie Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 I think it's more about life stages than age as a number. 24 - 31 or even 35+ would not be a big difference, if the 24 year old had some experience under her belt like having supported herself, having a kid, etc. I am a year older than K_andM I have already been financially independent for 5 years, living on my own (thousands of miles from any family), for 7. My carefree college days are far behind me. From that perspective, I would say I have more in common with an average 35 year old, than a 23 fresh out of school. By that same token, these days there are lots of people in their late 20's or even 30's with no careers, still living at home.
Tybalt Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 I think there is something to be said for age ranges corresponding with life stages, and thus having an effect on compatibility. Then again, sometimes two souls truly do connect in unusual and unpredictable ways in spite of age. A little over a year ago I stopped dating a guy 20 years older than I am. More precisely, he ended it with me (he had recently ended a 30 year marriage) by being intimate with his old college girlfriend, which he told me about. I was quite hurt at the time, but moved on. Recently he's come back around, telling me he has only fallen in love three times in his life, and one of those instances was/is me. He already knows there is zero chance we would ever reconcile romantically, due to the way he behaved at that time. It's interesting to me that despite his age, he seemed the "younger" emotionally in some ways. Now, he seems more settled and mature, and I'm willing to be friends with him. We aren't right for each other, but I never really felt it was age that was the determinant.
Author binny Posted February 14, 2012 Author Posted February 14, 2012 Wow, was not expecting so many replies! I would say they were actually complimenting you. As in "what's a fine looking speciment like you doing here without a date?" Im 50 and generally speaking, my attraction scale move with my age and that usually means women my own age or 5-10 years younger or older. And attraction is much more than just looks. I just prefer women my age or older for the most part. You are right, I think the comments were meant innocently rather than them "hitting" on me OP, are you in Scotland? Aye, I'm in Scotland! I'm 27. Guys my age are looking for hot, exciting women. Not intelligent and independent. Those old guys who commented you were saying you have the qualities of a good housewife. And those are the qualities older guys care for the most in women. I'm definately not hot or exciting! Not sure I would make a good housewife either - I'm very career focused, maybe that's part of the problem! How old are you? If you don't mind the question! I'm 26 I hope you're right...the woman who is 18 years older than me is coming to visit tomorrow... How did it go?! Again, same here. Good looks will only get a guy so far. Totally agree! Hard for me to say. I AM old, but I've never really been shallow. If anything, I'd say it's broadened my horizons. I'm in the same boat as you though. When I was in my 20s a lot of my older relatives and older friends of my parents knew used to tell me I was handsome and why didn't I have a girlfriend. No girl my age has EVER called me handsome, not even women I've dated. I think they were just being nice, but that doesn't mean you're not pretty. Men have a wider range of what they find physically attractive. Chances are you will fall within that range if you get out and about enough. I hate having to answer the question "are you STILL single?!" Maybe I do need to get out more.. I think it's more about life stages than age as a number. 24 - 31 or even 35+ would not be a big difference, if the 24 year old had some experience under her belt like having supported herself, having a kid, etc. I am a year older than K_andM I have already been financially independent for 5 years, living on my own (thousands of miles from any family), for 7. My carefree college days are far behind me. From that perspective, I would say I have more in common with an average 35 year old, than a 23 fresh out of school. By that same token, these days there are lots of people in their late 20's or even 30's with no careers, still living at home. I don't think it is necessarily about experiences, some people just mature faster than others and others never seem to grow up! Out of interest, does everyone have limits for age ranges they would date? Personally age doesn't really bother me but I know some people will refuse to date someone that isn't in a certain age group.
FitChick Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 I wouldn't date anyone younger than 40-something because I want someone who has gone through his midlife crisis already and is cognizant that time is running out so he'd better take action sooner rather than later. If a 70 year old was still healthy and active with a nice lifestyle, I might not turn him down, although I'd prefer it if one of his parents were still alive, as a predictor of longevity. Warren Beatty is 75, I think.
kaylan Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 I dunno why, but I always assumed you were closer to my age (25) FitChick.
FitChick Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 I dunno why, but I always assumed you were closer to my age (25) FitChick. It's all about attitude and energy. That is why I generally prefer men a few years younger who are divorced with kids. I can't relate to most women my age as I've never been married nor had kids, so that has kept me younger. Of course looking good for my age is a mixed blessing on dating websites. If I posted my real age, only men with one foot in the grave would respond, so I lie but always post current photos. Even then I am often asked if I have any "current photos." Sorry, buddy, I can't get more current than yesterday!
FitChick Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 Guys want their girls to be just that... act like a 'girlfriend' and not a 'mother or 'partner'. It doesn't mean irresposible or immature but rather that their girl be spontaneous, flirty, sexual, 'fun'. Goldie Hawn acts like that and she is in her sixties. So is Lulu.
Author binny Posted February 14, 2012 Author Posted February 14, 2012 (edited) I'm in my 50's and like women 47 or so to 55...but they have to be 'fit' (like my girlfriend) Just curious but why 47 - 55? Does that mean you wouldn't consider dating a woman who was 40 or 60? I'm just trying to understand if there is a rule for dating age range. Edited February 14, 2012 by binny
joystickd Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I had a female coworker that was old enough for my mom attracted to me. She would come to work after she got off with these little shorts on. Then she texted me late one night wanting me to come over and mentioned she was sexually frustrated.
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