yzyzyz325 Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 My ex is kinda egoist. Also she is always very cold and reserved, doesn't like sharing her minds. There were many things she did which really pissed me off, like she complainted it's the most boring thing to buy souvenirs for my family with me while we were still shopping in a souvenir shop, so I had to call off and take her out; she refused to teach me how to dance or play tennis, because it's boring to teach ppl; she didnt allow me to touch her when she was not in a good mood (not bcoz of me); she didnt ask anything when i told her that i had job interviews only bcoz she was busy with her own study.... I was tired in the relationship, bcoz i had to please her all the time when she was not so considerate to me. However since I really appreciated her merits, i didn't try to call it off. To me, most of her flaws come with the young age and lack of experience (i'm her first of everything), which will be gone when she grows up. Just before she broke up with me through phone, I told her that i was always the one who hung up phone last when we finished calling. When I was young, i read an article about how to be a good bf, and one of the standards was i should not hang up phone until my gf hang up, so i did that to her. However, she said i just made that up and refused to believe it. Then, few minutes later, she said she wanted to break up... I dont get it, why didn't she trust what i said? I kept doing this throughout our 1.5 yrs relationship, and all my efforts were in vain. You know, it's not a good feeling to hear the other hangs up phone first...
oldguy Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 I'm sorry for your pain but it just sounds like this one simply wasn't into you all that much and that always feels like crap. Hoping people will change or grow into something more desirable is almost always a losing proposition. Even when finding a good match it takes a mutual commitment to change together over time rather than grow apart. And "young love", (generally under the age of 25 or so), is so difficult. I know you feel like the past year or so was a waste but over the next few months & certainly over the next few years you will view this as another learning experience. Think of it as life tuition & we are NEVER too old to stop learning. Just don't let this experience jade you. Do what needs to be done to stop dwelling on it, from friends to movies, working out is great great way & in a short time date some, just for the fun of dating & I would strongly suggest avoiding, "rebound sex", that's almost always a BAD idea You will have time to reflect more effectively after you have healed a bit & moved on. Anything else will just make you miserable. Rather than and ending, think of this as a new & fresh beginning.
Philosoraptor Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 The question you need to ask yourself is "did this relationship make me happy?". It certainly doesn't seem to have by the way you are writing about it. You seemed to give and be unappreciated, and did not seem to receive much of what you needed. It was simply a bad match and you now have the opportunity to move on and find something that fits you better. Take the time to heal then embrace the chance to find someone who makes you happy a bit more naturally.
Chi townD Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 Why would she say stuff like this? Easy. HI! FRIEND ZONE!!! How are ya?
Feelin Frisky Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 She doesn't sound like much of a prize so don't put yourself on the rejection side of hurt. It sounds like you wanted a relationship but drew an unlucky choice. Don't internalize the prickly parts of her nature--they are her issues and it does not serve you at all to make them your problem since it's over.
wilsonx Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 I'm sorry for your pain but it just sounds like this one simply wasn't into you all that much and that always feels like crap. Hoping people will change or grow into something more desirable is almost always a losing proposition. Even when finding a good match it takes a mutual commitment to change together over time rather than grow apart. And "young love", (generally under the age of 25 or so), is so difficult. I know you feel like the past year or so was a waste but over the next few months & certainly over the next few years you will view this as another learning experience. Think of it as life tuition & we are NEVER too old to stop learning. Just don't let this experience jade you. Do what needs to be done to stop dwelling on it, from friends to movies, working out is great great way & in a short time date some, just for the fun of dating & I would strongly suggest avoiding, "rebound sex", that's almost always a BAD idea You will have time to reflect more effectively after you have healed a bit & moved on. Anything else will just make you miserable. Rather than and ending, think of this as a new & fresh beginning. Very good advice! As for those that want to put a label on her, GIGS.
veggirl Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 Good riddance to her. Take away the learning experiences this relationship gave you and be done with her. Her behavior is immature and unacceptable. Set boundaries with the next girl you are with -- don't put up with crap like this again.
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