robf1971 Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Well - IF he wanted out so badly - a man of character would have just ended the M in divorce - but her MM didn't even do that, he was only a coward enough to subject his wife to misery so SHE would start the process. I mean does this guy's wife even know he's cheating? I can't believe that any woman in the know wouldn't have turfed the cheater out of the house a long time ago. Send him packing to Cabin's place!!
frozensprouts Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 i would imagine that the tension in this guy's house right now is really high...must be very hard on his wife and kids... i wish someone would have the intestinal fortitude to tell this poor woman about what her husband has been up to...right now, she's probably very unhappy, wondering what it is she did wrong to drive him away, what she could do to make it better, what the problem is with HER...( this is assuming she even knows he wants a divorce) thing is, the problem isn't in her, it's in him, but he's too chicken sh#t to tell her...he wants to take the easy way out for himself and never mind what long term effect it has on her and his kids
woinlove Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 I mean does this guy's wife even know he's cheating? I can't believe that any woman in the know wouldn't have turfed the cheater out of the house a long time ago. Send him packing to Cabin's place!! Apparently she doesn't know. He doesn't want anyone to know about him and cabin. Apparently, he's hoping to divorce, be "single" for a "respectable" time, and then pretend him and cabin get together in a different way sometime in the future and fall in love, so that his W, kids, colleagues, etc never suspect the truth. They think they are good enough liars and actors to pull this off. Maybe they are.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Apparently she doesn't know. He doesn't want anyone to know about him and cabin. Apparently, he's hoping to divorce, be "single" for a "respectable" time, and then pretend him and cabin get together in a different way sometime in the future and fall in love, so that his W, kids, colleagues, etc never suspect the truth. They think they are good enough liars and actors to pull this off. Maybe they are. And, he and Cabin work together. The drama.
Emme Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Cabin I have a question, How long are you expected to wait? Months or Years.
SoMovinOn Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Some OW/OM are weak. Most MM/MW, however, are manipulative. You don't seem to say much about your experience as an OW. Do you feel you were weak and/or that you AP manipulated you?
donnamaybe Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 You don't seem to say much about your experience as an OW. Do you feel you were weak and/or that you AP manipulated you? I don't consider myself an OW as I told him I refused that role which so many others sadly accept.
Lostinlife4now Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 I don't consider myself an OW as I told him I refused that role which so many others sadly accept. Hmmmmm...but you WERE an OW? Is that correct?
donnamaybe Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 Hmmmmm...but you WERE an OW? Is that correct? Nope. As I have stated in another thread, for one to be an OW means to choose that role as far as I'm concerned. I refused the role because I have too much self respect for that. You are free to call it whatever you like, and I'm absolutely certain you will.
SoMovinOn Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 I don't consider myself an OW as I told him I refused that role which so many others sadly accept. Create your own reality by simply calling it something else? Interesting.
Ms. Red Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 YA! I don't consider myself a wife coz I told my husband that I refuse that role. See? it's really simple just say it or type it out and as Picard would say, "make it so."
donnamaybe Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 (edited) Again, dust off my shoulder. I know where my mindset was, so say what you want if it makes you feel better. I also know where the mindset is in a person who hangs onto a cheater's lies for sometimes a decade. Such a sad thing. I hope y'all feel better soon and no longer feel a need to target me in a vain attempt to refute the truths I post. Edited February 14, 2012 by donnamaybe
nofool4u Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 Create your own reality by simply calling it something else? Interesting. Question is, was she knowingly dating a married man or not? Not sure of this background, but if she says she refused the role of OW, it tells me, without reading her other posts regarding this, that she wasn't an OW and wasn't going to be. Then again, I haven't read that part of her story, so I don't know.
donnamaybe Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 Question is, was she knowingly dating a married man or not?Nope. I saw a guy a few times who had a GF he said he was dumping because she was using him, which actually was true. When he didn't dump her immediately I told him he needed to or quit seeing me. He wanted to try to make a go of it with her, so we parted ways. He had made quite an impact, so it was difficult at first, but as always happens in these situations as it does with anyone, I got over it. It's that simple. I refuse to be the "other" anything. He contacted me later after he finally did dump her, but I wanted nothing to do with him and told him so. End of story. If I wanted to be an OW I would've hung on and on letting him have both of us and listening to empty promises. For some reason, certain folks on this forum are like a dog with a bone. I guess it's difficult when someone else makes a valid point, and they have no good response. I am now with the best man I've every known and have been for going on 7 years now.
nofool4u Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 Nope. I saw a guy a few times who had a GF he said he was dumping because she was using him, which actually was true. When he didn't dump her immediately I told him he needed to or quit seeing me. He wanted to try to make a go of it with her, so we parted ways. He had made quite an impact, so it was difficult at first, but as always happens in these situations as it does with anyone, I got over it. It's that simple. I refuse to be the "other" anything. He contacted me later after he finally did dump her, but I wanted nothing to do with him and told him so. End of story. If I wanted to be an OW I would've hung on and on letting him have both of us and listening to empty promises. For some reason, certain folks on this forum are like a dog with a bone. I guess it's difficult when someone else makes a valid point, and they have no good response. I am now with the best man I've every known and have been for going on 7 years now. Sounds reasonable to me. This guy was suppose to be on the outs, but then didn't do what he said, so you ended it. Case closed.
despicableME Posted February 18, 2012 Posted February 18, 2012 (edited) If I may ask- What is it that you're trying to convey to us with your updates? It seems the more you try to convince us that your personal experience is so much different than all the rest of us here, the more it falls in the same pile. I really don't know what you're trying to accomplish here. Furthermore, I did read that you had communicated to your husband that there was "someone else." Would you care to elaborate on that? I mean... did you tell him the extent of your betrayal, or did you pretty much give him cliffs notes? Has your AP been so forthcoming? And please stop justifying your affair by inserting this. I personally know now over 12 couples who got together in an A and went on to be M and stay M. All this does is tell us how desperately you're trying to convince us- maybe, even yourself- of the validity of your affair- you're "reaching." Edited February 18, 2012 by despicableME
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