flow15 Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 So, been on and off with ex for the past year or so (I've posted in the breaking up forum if anyone cares to look!) Hes recently got back in contact to apologise for hurting me, etc.. and the past month hes been initiating contact a few times, either through texting or calling or talking through skype... Last week he told me he really wanted to see me and meet up, but then said to not expect anything from him. So I said to him, what does he think I expect from him?! (wondering if he thinks I want to get back together and he doesnt) and he just said he wasn't making assumptions bbut wanted to be clear. What does that mean?!? Anyway, so since then he hasn't mentioned meeting up again, hes contacted me to talk about other things (very brief) but hasnt mentioned about seeing me again. How could he 'really' want to see me if hes not mentioning it again?? I don't think he only wanted to see me for sex, cos he knows he won't get any from me if we're not together. I do want him back, so i take it when he says to not expect anything from him it means he doesn't want me back?? I feel like I should be honest with how i feel- but don't want to chase after him and scare him off! I really want to see him, and see how things go...but I don't want to ask him if we're still meeting up if he hasn't mentioned it again!
ScienceGal Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 So, been on and off with ex for the past year or so (I've posted in the breaking up forum if anyone cares to look!) Hes recently got back in contact to apologise for hurting me, etc.. and the past month hes been initiating contact a few times, either through texting or calling or talking through skype... Last week he told me he really wanted to see me and meet up, but then said to not expect anything from him. So I said to him, what does he think I expect from him?! (wondering if he thinks I want to get back together and he doesnt) and he just said he wasn't making assumptions bbut wanted to be clear. What does that mean?!? Anyway, so since then he hasn't mentioned meeting up again, hes contacted me to talk about other things (very brief) but hasnt mentioned about seeing me again. How could he 'really' want to see me if hes not mentioning it again?? I don't think he only wanted to see me for sex, cos he knows he won't get any from me if we're not together. I do want him back, so i take it when he says to not expect anything from him it means he doesn't want me back?? I feel like I should be honest with how i feel- but don't want to chase after him and scare him off! I really want to see him, and see how things go...but I don't want to ask him if we're still meeting up if he hasn't mentioned it again! Stop playing games and stop letting him jerk you around. It doesn't matter why he is doing any of this. He is doing it and it shouldn't be tolerated. Tell him how you feel and that you want to work on a relationship, or you don't want to communucate with him anymore because you want to move on. You've spent a year being "on again, off again" and you can either continue that way or put your foot down. It's your life.
Author flow15 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) won't telling him that i want to see him and work on a relationship, make him run for the hills?! surely hes the one that has to come after me? i dont want to chase him Edited February 9, 2012 by flow15
ScienceGal Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) Do you really want to walk on eggshells and overthink what should and shouldn't be said? Do you really want to scheme in order to get him back? Even if you wait for him to come back, how long do you really think it will last? If he wants to be with you, he will be with you. If he doesn't, move on. There shouldn't be any chasing or running for the hills in a healthy relationship. Again, it's been a year... Edited February 9, 2012 by ScienceGal
Author flow15 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 exactly! if i tell him how i feel, he will probably reject me because if he wanted to be with me he would tell me.. so why was he saying he 'really' wanted to see me?? and now not even mention it!
ScienceGal Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 exactly! if i tell him how i feel, he will probably reject me because if he wanted to be with me he would tell me.. so why was he saying he 'really' wanted to see me?? and now not even mention it! How old are you? To answer your question, again, this guy is jerking you around. He is testing the waters to see if you're still interested... and if you are, he bails... what do you have to gain here? nothing! He doesn't seem like relationship material to me. But, since you seem to be hung up on the guy, tell him how you feel and walk away if he doesn't want to work on the relationship. That way you will have no regrets. Be strong. You deserve better.
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