LK30 Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 Hi all, I've got friendly with a girl of 22 (i'm 32) and we've been seeing each other on and off. There is a lot of chemistry, and I confess we have been intimate on several occasions. I did tell her I'm a bit conscious of the age gap if we go together but she said it didnt bother her. We've spoken more on FB, but the main issue is she's moving back home (2 hours away) at the beginning of April. I think i've immaturely been living on fantasy island as I said to her we should have a crazt 2 month r'ship until she goes and I'll pretend to be her fb. I can't say she's really affectionate as she doesnt do flowers, chocs and all that romantic stuff (which I like a bit), and she doesnt really complement me. She talks more on FB about that side of things and she said she's confused as she's still getting over her ex from before Xmas, and she messaged this... “I am having sex with you because I like you and because I have feelings for you and it would be easier if it was casual/friends with benefits with no feelings because my plan was always to go home and I don’t really know what the plan is any more. I’m really confused what to think!" I think she does like me, but I know the inevitable will happen and she will go home. I don't really want to stop her as I know she misses home. Perhaps I've just been manipulative and I should cut all the cute stuff I'm doing and saying because it's clearly confusing her, but I really enjoy the attention and I do really fancy her. Any advice what to do? Thanks!
thatone Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 she gave the indcation for you to invite her to stay. up to you whether you take her up on it or not.
TheFinalWord Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 Hi all, I've got friendly with a girl of 22 (i'm 32) and we've been seeing each other on and off. There is a lot of chemistry, and I confess we have been intimate on several occasions. I did tell her I'm a bit conscious of the age gap if we go together but she said it didnt bother her. We've spoken more on FB, but the main issue is she's moving back home (2 hours away) at the beginning of April. I think i've immaturely been living on fantasy island as I said to her we should have a crazt 2 month r'ship until she goes and I'll pretend to be her fb. I can't say she's really affectionate as she doesnt do flowers, chocs and all that romantic stuff (which I like a bit), and she doesnt really complement me. She talks more on FB about that side of things and she said she's confused as she's still getting over her ex from before Xmas, and she messaged this... “I am having sex with you because I like you and because I have feelings for you and it would be easier if it was casual/friends with benefits with no feelings because my plan was always to go home and I don’t really know what the plan is any more. I’m really confused what to think!" I think she does like me, but I know the inevitable will happen and she will go home. I don't really want to stop her as I know she misses home. Perhaps I've just been manipulative and I should cut all the cute stuff I'm doing and saying because it's clearly confusing her, but I really enjoy the attention and I do really fancy her. Any advice what to do? Thanks! I think you've answered your own question. You know what to do
Author LK30 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 Have I really answered it? I can't see it!
TheFinalWord Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) Have I really answered it? I can't see it! Just my hunch...seems mostly physical to me. I've dated women 8 years younger than me and I've found we're at different places in life. I've never dated 22 though; she's barely experienced anything of life. "I think i've immaturely been living on fantasy island as I said to her we should have a crazt 2 month r'ship until she goes and I'll pretend to be her fb. I can't say she's really affectionate as she doesnt do flowers, chocs and all that romantic stuff (which I like a bit), and she doesnt really complement me. Perhaps I've just been manipulative and I should cut all the cute stuff" Edited February 9, 2012 by TheFinalWord
Author LK30 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 Interesting - I thought you were going to say the opposite actually! I think you're right though. She's just making me feel good about myself for a while but I'm sure she'll go home and deep down it wouldn't really work
TheFinalWord Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 Interesting - I thought you were going to say the opposite actually! I think you're right though. She's just making me feel good about myself for a while but I'm sure she'll go home and deep down it wouldn't really work Well I'm gauging all of this behind a computer screen so take it for what it's worth I've just learned to trust my instincts when it comes to these things. I think you had a fling and the idea of having a young woman is exciting, but 22...I don't know. Unless she's really mature, but it also sounds like she kind of got involved with you to help get over her ex. But she isn't 100% sure now. But I think you being older and wiser you know it won't work in the long-term. If there were obstacles there that you thought you could overcome you probably wouldn't be questioning yourself
Author LK30 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 Thanks TheFinalWord. Your words are wise! It's just hard to accept it! In some ways it's good because if she was older I'd be in even more of a dilemma as she doesn't want to stay in this area, and I don't really want to move away as my life is here. I expect she'll go and we'll lose contact - altho it's hard to imagine and I've got caught up as my love life has gone nowhere for years and I just can't find the one, so I'm grabbing every opportunity - even though I know in my mind some of them aren't really right.
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