stillafool Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 No one said he is going to morph into Prince Charming. No one said this new woman is better than the OP. Everyone's gauging the ex based on a one sided definition from the OP. The ex may very well be a better match for this new woman and vice versa and while they may have their own hurdles to overcome, you cannot gauge his success based on his failed relationship with the OP. And who are we to say that he will not find his awareness or this may just be what he needs to turn things around for him. There's always three sides to the story. His, hers and the truth. These predictions would have substance if you were working with all sides of the story. Predicting his failed future just because the OP and the ex had a tumultuous 5 month relationship is at best mere speculation rather than the truth. I happen to agree with you. I personally know a person who was a total playa who everyone called an a$$---- until he married his wife. He is an entirely different person and they are very happy.
stillafool Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 Not analyzing his every move, if i wanted to be with him i could've been. But i'm no doormat. And expect way more than he can provide. Furthermore, my current relationship is better than any previous one and i wohudln't jeopardize it. Screw him. If you really feel this way you should stop worrying about what is going on in his life and just be happy about yours.
Author ilovedhim Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 This was a year and a half "relationship". And we dated 7 years ago for 4 over years. He asked me to marry him in the fall.
Author ilovedhim Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 Please read my other threads from today. He already cheated on his soon to be wife a few months into their R with me for a year and a half and atleast 3 other people that i know of. That is if what she said in her voicemail was the truth.
Zahara Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) Please read my other threads from today. He already cheated on his soon to be wife a few months into their R with me for a year and a half and atleast 3 other people that i know of. That is if what she said in her voicemail was the truth. Pages and pages of him. If you say your current relationship is better than any of your previous, then why are you harping? You contradict yourself. It takes more than one person to ignite and engaga in drama. I feel sorry for the guy waiting in the sidelines for your utmost and undivided emotional attention. I would never want to be with someone who is still struggling with letting go of an ex, and one that keeps lying to themselves that they could not care less. Edited February 12, 2012 by Zahara
Author ilovedhim Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 Z- Right. If i didn't care i wouldn't be here. Where did you get that from? In my previous post i said i wouldn't engage him in this drama, that i have no inclination to respond, not that i don't care. There is months huge gaps between my threads talking about him. I'm back here because i have new information that need help figuring out. Why does that piss you off? The new guy is hardly a doormat himself. Part of the reason my ex hates me is because of him, and part jealousy. New guy made me change my number and email today, and put a 3 week deadline for me to move out of my apartment, which i own so this won't be easy. Because i want him in my life, i will oblige.
Zahara Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) Z- Right. If i didn't care i wouldn't be here. Where did you get that from? In my previous post i said i wouldn't engage him in this drama, that i have no inclination to respond, not that i don't care. There is months huge gaps between my threads talking about him. I'm back here because i have new information that need help figuring out. Why does that piss you off? The new guy is hardly a doormat himself. Part of the reason my ex hates me is because of him, and part jealousy. New guy made me change my number and email today, and put a 3 week deadline for me to move out of my apartment, which i own so this won't be easy. Because i want him in my life, i will oblige. That you didn't care? Just from this thread stating that you don't need to babysit them anymore, that you are glad he is no longer in your life, that he can screw himself and best of all that you have the best relationship ever, hallelujah, I would be dusting the poop off my shoes and enjoying this man that is giving me the best I ever had. Instead... Everytime you hear something about him, you need analyzing? He's a cheat. You seem to be sure of that. He cheated on you and her and you are sure of that. What more can analyzing do but show you that everything you said above is what you need to be doing? Pisses me off? I would hardly expend that type of energy on this post. I'm just stating what I think, especially after reading your other recent 5 page thread. Even your new relationship is revolving around your ex. Your current boyfriend has to make decisions for YOU on how you need to detach from your ex. That says something. If all you do is come here and keep harping on what the ex is doing and wondering if his failure with the current woman will help reverse your feelings of devaluation, then keep on posting. While you do that, understand that you're the only one that is going to keep standing in your own way. I hope that if this is the best relationship you have, maybe it's time to start focusing all your energy and CARE on what's infront of you rather than what's behind you. Good luck to you. Edited February 12, 2012 by Zahara
stillafool Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 So glad i'm no longer in his life. Remember you said this the next time your friends offer up information about him and her. Tell them you don't want to hear it and you're just glad you are no longer in his life.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 New guy made me change my number and email today, and put a 3 week deadline for me to move out of my apartment, which i own so this won't be easy. Because i want him in my life, i will oblige. ???? WHY is your new boyfriend, who you've only been with for a short while, "making" you do anything? Especially move out of a home which you own? This doesn't make any sense. Why do you have to change your numbers? Wouldn't it be much simpler, more mature and in better interests of your relationship to just quit obsessing on your ex boyfriend and engaging in useless drama about him?
Author ilovedhim Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 ???? WHY is your new boyfriend, who you've only been with for a short while, "making" you do anything? Especially move out of a home which you own? This doesn't make any sense. Why do you have to change your numbers? Wouldn't it be much simpler, more mature and in better interests of your relationship to just quit obsessing on your ex boyfriend and engaging in useless drama about him? Lol because new bf sees how stressed he makes me and i'm ok with it. It's not easy dealing with an ex bombarding your life whenever he pleases. This drama is not welcomed nor instigated by me. Other then the times my ex really aggravates me all he gets is a deafening silence. Now he's employed his soon to be wife to annoy me.
Author ilovedhim Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 Remember you said this the next time your friends offer up information about him and her. Tell them you don't want to hear it and you're just glad you are no longer in his life. Imagine the drama this would stir up if it got back to him he hates rejection. I just turn a deaf ear or walk away when his topic comes up.
Author ilovedhim Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 Zahara- cut me some slack. I think i'm dealing pretty well considering i just found out this man i've loved most of my life was possibly cheating on me the entire time, no?
betterdeal Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Why do you have to change your numbers? Wouldn't it be much simpler, more mature and in better interests of your relationship to just quit obsessing on your ex boyfriend and engaging in useless drama about him? Perhaps changing numbers will enable her to quit engaging in useless drama because she won't be getting calls from his wife to be?
betterdeal Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 ilovedhim, I'm a big fan of changing numbers and moving away. My anxiety levels dropped noticeably the moment I called and the operator confirmed the number was being changed. It sped up my recovery hugely. I think you'll find it as liberating as I did.
Author ilovedhim Posted February 12, 2012 Author Posted February 12, 2012 ilovedhim, I'm a big fan of changing numbers and moving away. My anxiety levels dropped noticeably the moment I called and the operator confirmed the number was being changed. It sped up my recovery hugely. I think you'll find it as liberating as I did. Thanks betterdeal, i was keeping up with your threads and you made letting go seem effortless. I feel good doing this. And have already given away some furniture to a local shelter. Hope they have better luck with it New beginnings.
betterdeal Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Good to hear Tell the phone company that you're getting nuisance calls (and you are, aren't you?) and they'll change your number in a matter of hours.
stillafool Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Zahara- cut me some slack. I think i'm dealing pretty well considering i just found out this man i've loved most of my life was possibly cheating on me the entire time, no? What kind of friends do you have that would tell him private information you tell them? If this is true, you need new friends because those you have can't be trusted. So what if he does hear that you said you are not interested in hearing about his private life? Good, then he will get the message.
stillafool Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Good to hear Tell the phone company that you're getting nuisance calls (and you are, aren't you?) and they'll change your number in a matter of hours. For FREE! Do it!
stillafool Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 ilovedhim, I'm a big fan of changing numbers and moving away. My anxiety levels dropped noticeably the moment I called and the operator confirmed the number was being changed. It sped up my recovery hugely. I think you'll find it as liberating as I did. I always did that after a breakup. It's incredible how much this helps.
betterdeal Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 What kind of friends do you have that would tell him private information you tell them? If this is true, you need new friends because those you have can't be trusted. So what if he does hear that you said you are not interested in hearing about his private life? Good, then he will get the message. I found this too - once I started to re-evaluate things at a very basic, fundamental level, I realised I had to reshape some and let go of some other friendships too as part of the general shake up. My impression is ilovedhim will find the same too. A new username may well be required too
stillafool Posted February 12, 2012 Posted February 12, 2012 Imagine the drama this would stir up if it got back to him he hates rejection. I just turn a deaf ear or walk away when his topic comes up. This is the quote I meant to post when I said what kind of friends do you have that would tell him you said this.
Recommended Posts