tlamb93 Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 So me and my girlfriend broke up because we're going to different schools in the fall. Things got rocky, and we got in to a lot of fights about it. We tried to stay together for the last month or so, but it was just too stressful to continue. So we agreed to take a month break from eachother and see where that took us, and to also see if we could be friends after. I went on a double date with a friend, she found out, and sent me a jealous text. I was glad that she was jealous, because she still cares for me, but I don't want her to be hurt. We talked it out, and decided to end this vow of silence but to just be friends. She says she still loves me, so much, that she's willing to stay in my life as a close friend. Today, she told me she was happier than she's been in awhile. This hurt me A LOT, because she becomes happy literally a day after we decide to stoop our relationship down a level. I'm glad she's happy and it makes the situation a little less stressful and makes me feel like something is working. I, however, am not happy. I'm stuck in a position and I don't think I'll be able to get out of it. We barely talk anymore, and when we do its casual conversation, and we have no plans to hang out or see eachother until Valentines Day (and there's even a possibility that she won't be able to that day, she may be spending it with her mom because her dad is traveling for a few weeks because of work). So it hurts me, a lot, that she's okay with us not being together and seeing me substantially less, yet she still says she's very much in love with me. I've basically realized that I have to accept the pain. I'd rather have her in my life as someone to be there for me, someone to talk to, and someone to see once or twice every other week, rather than not in my life at all. Either way will be very painful, because I'm still in love with her and she's still in love with me, yet we're not together. What can I do to help myself cope with this situation? I feel like it's my fault for falling in love with her in the first place, because right now, there's literally NO solution.
Philosoraptor Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 It's hard to maintain a friendship when there are deeper feelings still there. If you truly believe things wont work out, then you need to break away for a bit to gather yourself back. You can not use each other as emotional crutches because it will hinder your healing and stop you from learning how to lean on yourself. If you're still feeling jealous or hurt by things you are not ready to be a true friend.
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