nowwhatnow Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Dear LS, I am tired of being depressed and sad over my ex. its been too long. i thought he was the one but he was not. its been a year and half since he dumped me and im ready to move forward. ive updated my look, my outlook on life, and my philosophy. the only problem is i cannot find anyone i like. ive been to parties, bars, etc. And im on a college campus. why cant i find anyone? what do i need to do? i honestly believe im still lingering on him because i dont have anybody else. what am i supposed to do? ask a random guy on campus to date me??
smudge21 Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Do you feel you're wanting to date again, or needing to date again. The difference is simply a desire to date, be with someone, but you're okay to wait... or you feel so empty and alone that you simply must date someone soon. If it's the later, then you're still connected emotionally to the ex and you're trying to force yourself to be better, to be ready to date again, hence why you feel this desperation and confusion. The best relationships come from when we're relaxed and happy with ourselves; happy to be on our own and single, but clearly ready to date if the right person comes along. If you feel desperate and needy, then you'll show desperate and needy. Good honest people will be turned off by that, whereas the types you don't want to date will probably exploit it. It's been a year since I've seen mine and nearly 9 months now and I know I'm not yet ready to date. She's still in my thoughts a lot. I don't feel down about it anymore, just a few regrets lingering. But I also know that if I were to go looking for someone else now, I'd end up comparing them, which in turn would lead me to miss her again. I'll be ready when I'm ready, but I know I can't force myself to heal, nor will I kid myself that I am healed. Don't worry about when you'll meet someone, you'll only end up feeling worse. Just relax and find things that you enjoy doing and want to do. The moment you're out there enjoying your single life, free and easy, not a care in the world... is usually the time when someone comes into it.
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