ScienceGal Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I'm curious to know how important Valentine's Day is to all of you. Are you single, dating, married? What are your plans? How will to feel if your partner doesn't do anything? What if one of you does something and the other does nothing? Any thoughts are welcomed. I am not a materialistic person, but I do value affection and the little things. I'm definitely "it's the thought that counts" kind of woman. To me Valentine's Day should involve letting the special person in your life know that you value them. My relationship is quite new and I'll be getting him a card, writing something sweet in it, and making chocolate covered strawberries. I am hoping to at least be told "Happy Valentines Day", I think I'll be disappointed if I don't get that.
Philosoraptor Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I feel that if you do not put the same type of caring into the rest of the year that Valentine's day is forced. If you are the type to show the same affection the rest of the year then it's just another day. It's kinda pointless to me, but I will still do the same things that I did on any random Thursday and say "Happy Valentine's Day".
norajane Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I really like Valentine's Day. I see it as a day to celebrate love, sex, and romance with your sweetheart! I think it's great fun. I don't think it needs to be an expensive do, with fancy dinners out and flowers, though. We do enough dinners out, fancy and otherwise, that it doesn't matter to me whether we do that on Valentine's Day. And while I love beautiful flowers, I kinda feel sad after a few days when they start to die. This year, I went to the M&M website and ordered a batch of personalized M&M's for my guy - you can choose what colors, words or pictures you want on them. And I told him that he can't go wrong by getting me some chocolate. I like a little, fun, special acknowledgment, along with some wine, music and sexy times in front of the fireplace. Can't wait. I used to date a guy whose parents always remembered Valentine's Day, even after so many years together. Every year, they each pick out one of those cute little Valentine's cards from grade school that say "Be Mine" or "Thinking of You" and stick it up on the fridge for the other to find. So sweet. I feel that if you do not put the same type of caring into the rest of the year that Valentine's day is forced. If you are the type to show the same affection the rest of the year then it's just another day. It's kinda pointless to me, but I will still do the same things that I did on any random Thursday and say "Happy Valentine's Day". I agree with this to a point - you should absolutely show your love and affection all the other days, too. However, I disagree that it is pointless. I don't think birthday celebrations are pointless, even though you are alive all the other days of the year, and I don't think taking an evening to say how happy you are to be with someone is pointless even if you show it the rest of the year.
carhill Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 It used to be important and I once did a lot of 'special' things on V-day, like making handmade cards, special flower bouquets from my gardens, etc, etc. That part of life is over. Hope you have an enjoyable and memorable V-day, OP. I certainly don't regret the memories.
somedude81 Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 It's a piece of sh*t garbage holiday, designed to sell candy, cards, flowers, jewelry and other things for women. It's basically, Spoil your woman rotten day.
Negative Nancy Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 To me it is not important at all. I think it's just a day invented by the flower- and chocolate industry to sell more stuff. If I get something, nice, but if not then I'm not gonna throw myself behind a train. In fact, I will get to have a nice dinner on Valentine's Day - a work related invitation that I have to take part in. So either way, my V-Day's gonna be good, no matter if I get something or not.
EnigmaticClarity Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 It used to be important and I once did a lot of 'special' things on V-day, like making handmade cards, special flower bouquets from my gardens, etc, etc. That part of life is over. Why would romance be over for you? You sound quite jaded. For all the people complaining about the holiday being too commercial, are you also against creative gifts that take time and thought on your part yet little or no money?
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I'm always extremely glad to be single on this day. I do get frustrated that there is one day out of the year where you are obligated to act and feel a certain way and everything that was done prior is void If you don't express it on this day. I find it kind of childish and a way of forcibly trying to institute some romance. And that's coming from someone who is a romantic, but maybe then again that's why I see through it. It doesn't make sense that all of a sudden on one predetermined day that things should all of a sudden be romantic and If you have romance in your relationship wouldn't it be more like any other day? It seems, excessive or unnecessary for happy relationships but more of a tool in maybe wooing a new girl over or trying to get someone back, those are the only real logical reason I can come up with. So yeah, I'm not a big Valentines day guy myself..I think that too much rides on it and It doesn't really do what It's meant to (If it wasn't just for making money and jewelry to some) but then again maybe you could use it as an excuse to express emotion to people that you don't on a regular basis, like family and what not.
FitChick Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Irrelevant. If a man treated you like crap the rest of the year but went all out on Valentine's Day, would that mean he loved you? For me, the day after Valentine's Day is more important because that is when all the Valentine's chocolates go on sale!
veggirl Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I'm not a huge fan of Vday. Its just the pressure of what to do today? What to buy? all that kinda stuff. I've always told boyfriends not to buy me anything for Vday (hell I told my BF the same thing for Xmas! lol). I want to spend that night with my BF, but don't need/want anything special.
carhill Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Why would romance be over for you? You sound quite jaded. I don't know about 'jaded' but getting divorced and having a parent die in the same year after many years of caregiving does put a damper on 'enthusiasm' for Valentine's day, for me anyway. I've had all those experiences, the gush of romance, the desires both unrequited and fulfilled. Onward to other things.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I feel that if you do not put the same type of caring into the rest of the year that Valentine's day is forced. If you are the type to show the same affection the rest of the year then it's just another day. It's kinda pointless to me, but I will still do the same things that I did on any random Thursday and say "Happy Valentine's Day". This. My boyfriend is sweet and thoughtful all year round. I would rather have a partner who is kind and caring every day than one who is a prick 364 days out of the year then gets me 4 dozen red roses and a diamond necklace on valentine's day. Actually we had a conversation about this yesterday. He mentioned he had looked into sending roses to my workplace but that it was pretty pricey for flowers, and would I rather go out to dinner or receive a gift instead? I told him all of the above were completely unnecessary; we go out to dinner a lot and he always picks up the tab. He takes me to concerts, sporting events, and on trips...if anything, I want to spoil him on valentine's day. The poster who mentioned making chocolate covered strawberries for her boyfriend...great idea! I'm stealing.
luvkitties Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 What if one of you does something and the other does nothing? This is what happened last year...I bought him a card and wrote something sentimental, a long-stemmed red rose, and a Brita attachment for his kitchen faucet (the water was atrocious!)...ways to say "I care about you" without being *too* mushy. What did he get me? Nothing because he "forgot". Then he made other lame excuses; I was really hurt. Instead of an apology, I got four days of the "silent treatment". Such bullish*t.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Oops, just realized it was actually the OP who mentioned the chocolate covered strawberries. Thanks, OP!
Author ScienceGal Posted February 7, 2012 Author Posted February 7, 2012 I think that people get busy in their everyday lives and Valentines Day can be a reminder to take a step back and recognize those you love in your life. It's not that you don't love them every other day, or that you have to do anything extravagant or expensive. It's just another opportunity to be sweet to your sweetie! My best gift ever was a coupon book that included vouchers I could cash in for "backrub", "do the dishes", "cook me dinner", and other things. I smiled and loved it because he would do those things anyway, but he actually cut out pink and purple paper hearts, decorated them, and laced them together. Just picturing him taking the time to do that made my day. I miss romance like that.
Author ScienceGal Posted February 7, 2012 Author Posted February 7, 2012 What if one of you does something and the other does nothing? This is what happened last year...I bought him a card and wrote something sentimental, a long-stemmed red rose, and a Brita attachment for his kitchen faucet (the water was atrocious!)...ways to say "I care about you" without being *too* mushy. What did he get me? Nothing because he "forgot". Then he made other lame excuses; I was really hurt. Instead of an apology, I got four days of the "silent treatment". Such bullish*t. Oh nooooo! So sorry. My boyfriend has terrible water at his apartment too, but I'm not buying him a filter! That was very nice of you. But, I might still be with you on getting nothing in return. Historically, Valentines Day has been discussed between me and whomever I am dating. If it goes unspoken, I think he might forget. Bottom line, I hope he remembers since it will be our first Valentines Day. But, I don't want anything outrageous. I will try to not be upset if he forgets. Me getting him a card and choc. strawberries is because I care for him and I want to do that. It has nothing to do with getting anything in return. And, I'm going to eat some of the strawberries
EnigmaticClarity Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 What if one of you does something and the other does nothing? This is what happened last year...I bought him a card and wrote something sentimental, a long-stemmed red rose, and a Brita attachment for his kitchen faucet (the water was atrocious!)...ways to say "I care about you" without being *too* mushy. What did he get me? Nothing because he "forgot". Then he made other lame excuses; I was really hurt. Instead of an apology, I got four days of the "silent treatment". Such bullish*t. Some people get more into the holiday than others--I wouldn't hold it against someone if I went all out and they did nothing. Perhaps they'll learn from your example and become more romantic themselves. I'm about to have my first Valentine's Day with my current girlfriend--last year at this time we had only been on two dates and ignored the holiday--and this is her first long-term relationship. I'm planning to do something fairly thoughtful yet inexpensive, likely something crafted--yet if she does nothing, I'm fine with it. The point of doing something really nice is to make sure the other person knows you appreciate and love them--if they don't do the same, yet you know they do appreciate and love you, what's there to get pissed about? Don't look at their rejection of a social holiday as a symbol of their lack of love unless you believe they don't really much love you the rest of the year either.
veggirl Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 But, I might still be with you on getting nothing in return. Historically, Valentines Day has been discussed between me and whomever I am dating. If it goes unspoken, I think he might forget. Bottom line, I hope he remembers since it will be our first Valentines Day. But, I don't want anything outrageous. I will try to not be upset if he forgets. Me getting him a card and choc. strawberries is because I care for him and I want to do that. It has nothing to do with getting anything in return. And, I'm going to eat some of the strawberries Why don't you bring it up? Nothing wrong with that, esp if you are going to have to force yourself not to be upset if he doesn't do something. I understand wanting him to "just do it" but ...I'd say something. Then again, my "something" would be "don't get me anything" so maybe that's a little different, lol. Also, really no one FORGETS Vday...not sure how someone could legit forget, barring some crazy circumstance, if they have an SO.
norajane Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Irrelevant. If a man treated you like crap the rest of the year but went all out on Valentine's Day, would that mean he loved you? For me, the day after Valentine's Day is more important because that is when all the Valentine's chocolates go on sale! Why such a dichotomy? If a person treats you like crap the rest of the year, dump him...don't expect hearts and flowers on V-Day from a person like that. What about the couple who treats each other well throughout the year, and wants to do a little something extra special on V-Day and express happiness at being together?
Onlyjonley Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Historically, Valentines Day has been discussed between me and whomever I am dating. If it goes unspoken, I think he might forget. Exactly! Some guys tend to forget things like this without meaning to, so I have brought it up to my boyfriend a couple times in the past month. I don't want to set him up for failure. So I let him know that I'm buying him something small and that I'd like to go eat that evening ...just so he knows what to expect and isn't caught off guard.
spookie Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I must give off a very cynical vibe because my v-day convos with he last 2 bf's went like this: Him: u don't give a shti about valentines day, right? Me: sure Him: great! I always felt so pressured to go all out for my ex, it is so awesome that u don't care about it Me, in my mind: so u act like a good bf to other girls, but not me... Hm... While i dont care about getting chocolates or flowers, The guy I dated last vday did not even bother to spend the night wih me. I ended up eating yogurt for dinner in my apartment alone It was really depressing, and was the final nail in the coffin if our relationship.
EnigmaticClarity Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I must give off a very cynical vibe because my v-day convos with he last 2 bf's went like this: Him: u don't give a shti about valentines day, right? Me: sure Him: great! I always felt so pressured to go all out for my ex, it is so awesome that u don't care about it Me, in my mind: so u act like a good bf to other girls, but not me... Hm... While i dont care about getting chocolates or flowers, The guy I dated last vday did not even bother to spend the night wih me. I ended up eating yogurt for dinner in my apartment alone It was really depressing, and was the final nail in the coffin if our relationship. He asked you if you don't care about Valentine's Day...you said you didn't...yet you did and held it against him? Negative ten points to him for asking the crass question, and negative five to you for lying in your answer.
setsenia Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 (edited) What's important to me is that we do something fun together, something memorable where we're spending quality time together. I have enough jewelry, I have enough perfume and body works. Even an edible chocolate arrangement would be fine and maybe a nice dinner since we don't go out often due to limited budget. I don't need a lot of expensive material things like advertised on TV. A simple card, flowers/chocolates and a nice dinner is just fine. I'm happily married, but there's way too much hype put into Valentines day and it's thought of as an expensive holiday. Remember, it's not a national holiday, so it's not as important as let's say, Christmas. Edited February 7, 2012 by setsenia
jobaba Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I've had somebody for so few Valentine's Days that it's nice to be able to take out a girl and do something for her. I love taking women out and showing them a good time. This year, I've got a whole day planned. Should be fun... On the other hand, I was NEVER upset when I was single and Valentine's Day rolled around. Just another day...
Ross MwcFan Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 It doesn't mean anything to me, never has done, never will do. It's just some bull**** thing, that has to do with other people.
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