xpaperxcutx Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 My bestie has a guy friend who always hangs out with us, kind of like a third wheel between me and my girlfriend. We don't mind the fact that he hangs out with us, but outside of us two, he doesn't really have any other social groups. We like his company but occasionally he ccan be a party pooper. He has an austere personality from being in the Marines, and it's been 4 years since his last relationship. He has said it's been hard for him to make new friends and sometimes he'd prefer not to. That kind of behaviour is lazy and makes him unable to develop good relationships with people. I see a little bit of him in you.
Ross MwcFan Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I don't mean any offence by saying this (heck, I don't have any friends offline), but, most girls will find it a turn off, because it'll make the guy look 'odd'.
Dust Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 To the OP this is not your problem with women. You're very shy and you want them to take the active role in the begining or the relationship. As a man most women will want you to take the more active role in the very begining of the relationship. If a girl asks you about your friends just say you enjoy hanging out with your cousin and family. Nothing wrong with that. You don't have to be like "I don't have friends!" I don't mean any offence by saying this (heck, I don't have any friends offline), but, most girls will find it a turn off, because it'll make the guy look 'odd'. You do happen to be an odd guy Ross. I should know I'm an odd guy myself. The goal of life isn't to be as mild mannered and normal as posible unless you're hiding. Although that would make sense why you're always trying to be so normal.
setsenia Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Saying you don't have ANY friends whatsoever is a bit harsh, don't you think? Most of my close friends live out of town and we don't see each other more than a few times a year, but this is because of the distance and the fact that we all have very busy lives. You must have someone you consider yourself close to, even if you don't see them often.
Ross MwcFan Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 You do happen to be an odd guy Ross. I should know I'm an odd guy myself. The goal of life isn't to be as mild mannered and normal as posible unless you're hiding. Although that would make sense why you're always trying to be so normal. I honestly don't understand what you mean.
Star Gazer Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 So do girls find it a turn off if a guy doesn't have any friends? For me, absolutely. But as Meeks said, that's because I'm a social person with many friends (of varying degrees, super-close-BFFs to just regular-friends). I don't need a guy to have as many friends as I do, but if he was a loner, I think I would assume he has some sort of social issues - whether that be awkwardness or just not liking people in general. Having friends also demonstrates that you're able to function socially. So yeah, I just wouldn't be able to relate to someone who didn't have any friends, and would find it a turn off.
Shaun-Dro Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I hooked up with a co-worker who was working here years ago. She was the outgoing party type girl. I didn't even do much to charm her and she was really into me. So she was easily kept satisfied without me having to do much. And in college, several girls were the same way too. I didn't have to do much to keep them sticking around. With shy/quiet girls, it's a complete 180 with me. That's your answer right there, bro. Stay available to the girls who are on the outgoing side so you can chill, while steering clear of girls like you. I'm the same way in that social butterflies draw in to me because I'm laidback with not a whole lot to say, other than what's necessary. I like my life just as it is. I was always this way. When I was a teenager in highschool I used to hang out with 2-3 guys at a time. I never felt crazy about that, but did it anyway because we went to the same school and lived in the neighborhood. When these guys use to ramble about girls, I'd be thinking about that one special girl I wanted to get my hands on. They were yapping about random girls in no certain order. Being a loner doesn't mean you have no social skills. I have them but I do value being by myself most of the time when going out because I can go wherever I want when I please and don't need validation or permission, or even worse, a group agreement on what to do together. I hate that.
veggirl Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I don't mind a guy who doesn't have friends, as long as he doesn't become obsessed with me and start getting POd when I want a girls night. A co-dependent guy is but him being a loner or whatever, I don't care!
ScienceGal Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Usually when I'm seeing a new girl, it seems like she loses interest fast when she finds out I don't have any friends, probably because she thinks I'm a loser. . Even though I don't have any friends, I don't act clingy or needy to girls because I still have other things to do. I used to have a circle of 8 good friends while I was in college a few years ago. Ever since I graduated we have lost touch. I have acquaintances and co-workers I get a long with but I don't consider them friends because we are not in the same age range or share the same interests. I do have siblings and cousins in the same age range as me who I hang out with. So do girls find it a turn off if a guy doesn't have any friends? Don't tell them you don't have friends. Instead, focus on what you do have and what you like to do. I wouldn't care, especially since I only have a couple close friends. Many of my friends are married with kids and at a different point in life, and that's ok. Just be you
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