stareyes Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 ok, how do you break up with someone? like if you feel real bad in the first place because they are great and all just need a break- but also you are not that aggressive, and somehow they wont let it happen?
DerangedAngel Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 "I think I need to take a break from this relationship. Maybe we should see other people." blah blah blah. they wont let it happen How can they not let it happen? If at least one person in a relationship doesn't want it to continue, it won't. Are they threatening you somehow? More details, please. -Deranged
Author stareyes Posted June 3, 2004 Author Posted June 3, 2004 i guess im just a wimp. i feel bad saying i need to see someone else. i guess i just feel guilty because he is great and all but i want to go back to my x. u see, otherwise i prob would stay with him because he treats me like gold. i just still have feelings for my x. now that its been a year with this current boyfriend i feel bad breakin up with him, however im made numerous attempts. like i blame it on other things such as not having the time for a relationship right now etc. he cares for me so he will like claim how he doesnt care if we see each other once a week , etc, etc. and im not the aggressive type so i back down caus ei feel bad or maybe guilty for ever getting so involved with someone else still in my mind. ultimately, my heart is aching. please help.
quyster Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 I think the worst way to break up is starting **** with the break-upee. I am the one who got dumped and I was blamed for all kinda stuff. It's not a good feeling. It hurts a lot. Don't lie either. It hurts more The good way is by saying something like " i love u but not in love with you", " i need to decide, I need space, i need to find myself" but keep the truth about u going back to your ex from him tho. Wait until like 3 - 4 months then tell him. Well, i think your ex is a happy guy. My ex-gf broke up with me and I think we're done. No chance. It's good that you turn back. I really admire him Wish you guys luck and happiness! " Don't break up with him again, OK?" LOL
magda Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 "I want to break up. You will be happier with someone else... someone who loves you like you deserve." This points out that you don't love him.. much.This points out that it's all for the sake of his own happiness.This does not say "maybe" or "I guess" or anything undefinate. Sit down and write up a list of all the reasons youo're unhappy with this guy. It'll be handy if/when he asks "why". It'll also be handy if you realize you shouldn't break up with him. It'll also be handy later on if you realize you threw away a guy that really loved you for a guy you broke up with for a reason.
magda Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 In the past I've had to use the "on the count of three" thing on difficult conversations. Just site, breathe, count, and after three bust it out, "I think we should break up."
UCFKevin Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 Simple. "Everyone in the room who's in a relationship, step forward. Ah, not so fast, darling..." DONT do the break thing. Please. For the love of God, don't do that. I say go with what Magda said. Good advice.
NatoPMT Posted June 3, 2004 Posted June 3, 2004 "Everyone in the room who's in a relationship, step forward. Ah, not so fast, darling..." I agree - saying you want space or a break is just plain cruel if you have no intention of reconsidering after you get what you have asked for. the longer you leave this, the further he'll push towards you in that weird push-pull relationship dymanic that happens when one partner wants to ease things off. Do it now, or you will damage him more than is absolutely necessary. Be honest, go with what magda said, but then dont have any contact with him again. in the past, out of guilt i have kept talking, being confused over if its the right thing to do while the other person goes through hell, the kindest thing i could have done was to ask for no contact and then not contact them. leave him be to recover. BB
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