ShannonMI Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 It doesn't make you narrow-minded in this situation, no. No offense, but your boyfriend is not very sharp if he knows fully well that he has a mental disorder (bi-polar) and continues to smoke pot. Especially if it makes him worse. Anyone, even those who do not do drugs, knows that if you have any type of pre-exisiting mental conditions that participating in certain drugs can increase the possibility of triggering those conditions if they are dormant, or have a history of running in the family. If the condition is active and is recognized by the user, there is still a possibility of worsening it. Either way, it is a tricky road to walk down. So in this case, I think it's alright that you see this as a dealbreaker -- you said it yourself, he is not really the kind of person who should be smoking weed in the first place, especially if he becomes another person when he is smoking and it is negatively affecting your relationship. To me, this is not the usual "pothead" conversation. I see this as a separate and different issue, rather than a discussion about those who use pot in general. Although it made his manias worse, he still liked the feeling the weed gave him. He described it once to me. "It feels like both sides of my brain are lit up." That sounds f*cking weird, but dude was high when he said it, so there you go. He is actually a pretty intelligent person, but had a tough childhood and mental issues that obviously made him make some poor decisions. Smoking weed being one of them. He's finally wised up and realized weed does him no favors. I should clarify...if you can smoke weed and still function as a normal part of society (having a job, ambition, goals etc. etc.) then I'm fine with it. If weed has a bad affect on you and makes you a loser or makes you mentally unstable, I'm not fine with it. Period.
Feelin Frisky Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Um...what are you talking about? I dont smoke but I know better than to jump to conclusions like this. Explain to me if being drunk is any better than being high. Then tell me if you think those who drink on the weekend or with their buddies during the football game(like many men of all ages)...tell me if you think those people are trying to escape reality every time they have a drink. .... If you don't smoke then you really can't have that much of a handle on what I meant. I should have prefaced my comment with assuming you are a very bright and creative person but one not born to wealth or fortunes of company that will hep you achieve in life, smoking pot WILL allow you to have experiences where you feel you have an edge on everyone else. You can sometimes put those realizations to work in your routine work life and achieve some level of success within that framework, but it's also possible to see much bigger things about what is possible and what is right, wrong or neglectful about how society treats your sudden comprehension. Also assuming you're not given to delusions, visions of personal grandeur, or assumptions that rules of proper social conduct do not apply, it may become very unsatisfying to continue the routine life you've been leading and want to throw yourself into succeeding (reinventing yourself and doing what you feel is your absolute best). That can not be fudged and smoking weed can become a trap of unintended grandiosity. There is a lot more to the nuances of the issues and they will always depend on your uniqueness and how you personally see yourself and the world. I just advise that by one's early 30's one should bank on it that marijuana use is more typical of the under-achiever than the super-achiever--by far. Is being drunk any better than being high on weed? No. And I don't know why that is relevant at this point. Alcohol is however a central nervous system depressant whereas pot is a hallucinogen and those are very different experiences. Hallucinogens open access to parts of the mind usually dormant in the waking state and that is why people often feel they "see" imagery when they listen to music or enjoy things about tastes and sounds that they don't usually while sober or intoxicated by a central nervous system depressant. These should not be compared lightly or thought to be easily resolved in short Internet discussions--especially when one person is heavily experienced with hallucinogens and the other has no personal experience at all. As for your last question about drinking, everyone does it for their own reason. But in my biggest view, it is a very old "medicine" which people resort to because figuring themselves out and being happy or at least at peace with reality is too much like work. They'd rather surrender to impossibility and revel in drunkenness than pat themselves on the back for having the strength to experience life without it. I didn't always feel that way and still imbibe myself on occasion. But I try to keep it to two or three times a year. When you get to be my age, it starts to make a lot more sense to value your sanity, your health, and your potential that do people who are much younger and have not yet faced reason to believe they are not invincible and immortal. Cheers.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 Having never tried it, I I am a daily smoker. I mean DAILY. Sometimes multiple times a day. Which is it going to be, Spicoli? You're either a daily smoker, or you never tried it? At least the guy who played Spicoli went on to win two Academy Awards for best actor (AND marry Madonna - if that's worth anything) I second this. I dated an every day pothead and "annoying as f*ck" is a perfect description. He was always in a daze and would ramble on and on about nonsense. I was sober through out this. I did try smoking it once with him and hated the effect it had on me. I laughed my @ss off for about 20 minutes straight and then started crying uncontrollably. Not a good time. But to each their own. I do know functioning potheads as well. Not too many, but a few. The rest of the Spicoli's in the land are regarded much in the same way as this 3rd-party testimonial describes one person. When you make dumb choices - you have nobody to blame but yourselves. The rest of you, don't forget: "People on 'ludes should not drive" (anybody care to venture a guess as to which Skool it was??) pssssst. "Ridgemont"
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 WE decide who WE want to associate, converse, date and work with Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, NO, you DON'T!!! You're just constantly stoned and thus cannot even perceive the difference between that and being completely marginalized and effectively ineligible for most of what society has to offer. (in reality, you get to make a few such selections among the rest of the purposely-overlooked and the purposely-avoided) Choices such as all those you have made (recently, and in the past) are exactly what deemed you fully ineligible for most of society. (period) And nobody gives a darn whether you have or don't have the right to make those "choices". That you were fool enough to do so is plenty enough for most to see and laugh right through you.
kaylan Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 More line breaks would be helpful next time. Just so ya know. If you don't smoke then you really can't have that much of a handle on what I meant. I should have prefaced my comment with assuming you are a very bright and creative person but one not born to wealth or fortunes of company that will hep you achieve in life, smoking pot WILL allow you to have experiences where you feel you have an edge on everyone else. You can sometimes put those realizations to work in your routine work life and achieve some level of success within that framework, but it's also possible to see much bigger things about what is possible and what is right, wrong or neglectful about how society treats your sudden comprehension. I have smoked in the past though, and I have know plenty who do smoke. What one feels and thinks during "highness" is variable. Thats what I was getting at. Also assuming you're not given to delusions, visions of personal grandeur, or assumptions that rules of proper social conduct do not apply, it may become very unsatisfying to continue the routine life you've been leading and want to throw yourself into succeeding (reinventing yourself and doing what you feel is your absolute best). That can not be fudged and smoking weed can become a trap of unintended grandiosity. There is a lot more to the nuances of the issues and they will always depend on your uniqueness and how you personally see yourself and the world. I just advise that by one's early 30's one should bank on it that marijuana use is more typical of the under-achiever than the super-achiever--by far. Its easy to jump to this conclusion, but everyone is different. And as I said, I have known quite a few burnouts, and quite a few successful tokers. However, the successful folks smoke in moderation and dont let it interfere in their daily affairs the way burnouts do. Is being drunk any better than being high on weed? No. And I don't know why that is relevant at this point. Alcohol is however a central nervous system depressant whereas pot is a hallucinogen and those are very different experiences. I brought it up because alcohol is another "soft" substance that people have recreational fun with. I was also trying to point out that people some people in their 30s drink, and are losers. While others drink and it doesnt affect their lives negatively. I brought up alcohol because I feel its one of those things thats no better or worse than pot. But pot use gets such a bad wrap when its users are older. Hallucinogens open access to parts of the mind usually dormant in the waking state and that is why people often feel they "see" imagery when they listen to music or enjoy things about tastes and sounds that they don't usually while sober or intoxicated by a central nervous system depressant. These should not be compared lightly or thought to be easily resolved in short Internet discussions--especially when one person is heavily experienced with hallucinogens and the other has no personal experience at all. I know that THC is a mild hallucinogen. But like I said before, its affects vary from person to person. I saw nothing when I was high and listening to music. I was just tired and blah. Never got much out of it but being super relaxed...more than I wanted to be actually since Im an uppity guy. And your telling me Im inexperienced with hallucinogens? Bro, I have partaken of the good shroom, so tbh, I personally dont put pot in the same class as other hallucinogens. But thats just me. And most people I know dont hallucinate while high, so meh. As for your last question about drinking, everyone does it for their own reason. But in my biggest view, it is a very old "medicine" which people resort to because figuring themselves out and being happy or at least at peace with reality is too much like work. They'd rather surrender to impossibility and revel in drunkenness than pat themselves on the back for having the strength to experience life without it. I didn't always feel that way and still imbibe myself on occasion. But I try to keep it to two or three times a year. When you get to be my age, it starts to make a lot more sense to value your sanity, your health, and your potential that do people who are much younger and have not yet faced reason to believe they are not invincible and immortal. Cheers. You jump to many conclusions as to why people drink or do drugs. Everyone has a different reason. Ill leave it at that. Personally, I only get ***** faced hammered about a handful of times a year. Most of the time I either get a buzz going. Other than that I drink beers with my meals because I actually enjoy the beverage. Cheers
Mr. Savage Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 Such fools are too dense to understand that the rest of us can pick them out of a crowd and avoid them (as potential mates, roomies, employees, neighbors, conversations, etc) as we would the plague. Thank heaven some discrimination is still legal! Some of you people on here are really dense. Lighten up already. You think every weed smoker is some scuzzy degenerate? I dont wanna be YOUR potential mate, roomie, employee, neighbor, or have a conversation with you due to your closed off judgemental view of the world.
Pyro Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 I do not smoke pot. None of my boyfriends have smoked pot. Recently I have met several people in their 20s and even in their 30s who smoke pot on a regular basis (more than once per week). I don't like this at all and i sort of consider it a deal breaker. Is this too rigid/uptight? How often is pot in adults in their 20s/30s? not uptight at all. We all have our own preferences. A smoker has always been a deal breaker for me.
RonChalant Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 I personally don't see the issue...alcohol is way worse than "pot". As long as the person isn't a daily smoker who is a complete stoner I don't see why it would be looked at any differently than a person who drinks on occasion. Moderation is key, I smoke every now and then and still maintain good grades and good performance at work.
Lil1 Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 It doesn't matter to the members of the THC community if it is a deal breaker. We don't WANT someone in our life that is going to make it an issue. We have enough choices within the community (Yes, out here in CA it really is that large) that we have no desire to try to convince someone who is anti to give us a shot. So you can make it a deal breaker, just don't be surprised or call him an ******* if he is indifferent to your attitude about it and doesn't care if you break up over it. I'm done with this thread. I'll give this post two very enthusiastic thumbs up! As long as what you do to yourself is not harming you or others then to each their own. I've smoked pot on and off since I was 13 years old and it has never been a detriment to my health or to my passion for life. Everyone has a right to decide what kind of actions they will accept from a partner and if you deem smoking pot a dealbreaker then that is perfectly acceptable.
Steelrain322 Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 Wow I thought I was the only one who didn't like to date someone who has to burn.
Steelrain322 Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 For some reason I'm fairly bothered by really attractive girls who smoke pot. It doesn't seem classy to me. And the smell? Not very lady like lol.
OldSkool Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 Choices such as all those you have made (recently, and in the past) are exactly what deemed you fully ineligible for most of society. (period) And nobody gives a darn whether you have or don't have the right to make those "choices". That you were fool enough to do so is plenty enough for most to see and laugh right through you. I am done with the thread but not with you InsincereOnlineGuy. What the hell are you babbling about? You don't know me, you don't know my choices Put down your "Rules for Radicals" book and try talking down to people IRL like ALL of your 2,000+ posts do on this forum. You'll live about 10 seconds in my neighborhood. You are now ignored. Now I'm done with you. :laugh:
Author eleanorhurting Posted February 10, 2012 Author Posted February 10, 2012 Wow i never thought this would turn into such a huge fight. For the record, I did "date" someone in 2011 (if you have ever read my posts, yes, it is the one i always whine/complain/bitch about who i went out briefly) who smoked pot reguarly and he was extremely bright. He is in the top 10 percent of my med school class. He never told me he did but I found out through mutual friends that he was the king of pot and that he was like the ring leader of everyone in my school who smokes pot. I think he might deal actually. I did not like it but I was so into the guy i tried to pretend like it was not an issue. But lets face it my judgment back then was... horrible. The reasons why I have become agaisnt it are: 1- it is illegal. Not cool. 2- I hate the smell and I hate the way peoples houses and cars smell after they do it. 3- Other than the exception I mentioned above, I have recently met so many guys who spend their afternoons "smoking pot" with their friends as if that is something on their agendas and not really doing anything with their lives... its kind of a turn of. I mean you're 33, you have a crappy job and you tried to go to school for grad school and you could not handle it and dropped out... and now you smoke pot with your buddies because you need it to "fight" the depression? Seriously... not who I see myself having a stable relationship with. I am not going to judge others because of a few I have met but its just not something I like. I just wanted to know what other people thought on the subject and wow... there are lots of different opinions out there!!!
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