eleanorhurting Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 I do not smoke pot. None of my boyfriends have smoked pot. Recently I have met several people in their 20s and even in their 30s who smoke pot on a regular basis (more than once per week). I don't like this at all and i sort of consider it a deal breaker. Is this too rigid/uptight? How often is pot in adults in their 20s/30s?
ThaWholigan Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Drugs are definitely valid grounds for being a deal breaker. If you don't want it in your life then quite simply you don't have to put up with it. Speaking as a former weed smoker of 4 years (quit at the new year), I don't have any problems with weed at all, and would actually be open to a weed smoking GF even though I don't really smoke anymore (I'll probably get a bong when I have adequate resources, but even then, special occasions only). I draw the line at the hard stuff, I know lots of people that have the "cheeky line" here and there but I would much rather not be around people who make that a regular thing.
fishtaco Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Pretty often, depending on which crowd you hang with. There are a lot of pot smokers amongst my musician friends, for example. But I don't smoke, and my experience is that pot smokers are usually pretty chill, you don't want to smoke, it's all good, they won't force you or alienate you. But it is illegal, so if you're not okay with it, you're not okay with it. Your choice. I'm definitely fine with friends that smoke. But I have dated, although not seriously, pot smokers. So I haven't really been put in the situation where I have to consider it to be a deal breaker or not. Also you can be tested positive for pot from 2nd hand. And that may or may not impact your job. This is not an issue for me, so I hang with my friends that smoke, no problem.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 I do not smoke pot. None of my boyfriends have smoked pot. Recently I have met several people in their 20s and even in their 30s who smoke pot on a regular basis (more than once per week). I don't like this at all and i sort of consider it a deal breaker. Is this too rigid/uptight? How often is pot in adults in their 20s/30s? Dealbreaker for me too. Virtually all the pot smokers I know are complete losers. One of my family members is a dealer... so I know quite a few. Lack of ambition and memory issues seem to be extremely common. I don't think pot is dangerous, and if they made it legal I'd have the same opinion. The last thing I want is a SO who is lazy and stupid. I don't think that is asking too much.
ShannonMI Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 I do not smoke pot. None of my boyfriends have smoked pot. Recently I have met several people in their 20s and even in their 30s who smoke pot on a regular basis (more than once per week). I don't like this at all and i sort of consider it a deal breaker. Is this too rigid/uptight? How often is pot in adults in their 20s/30s? No, you're not too rigid or uptight. Pot is a nasty drug. I don't care what anyone says. I hate the sh*t. I dated a guy that was a big time pot smoker and it definitely had a bad effect on him. He was also bipolar and the pot made his manias worse. Pot has since become a deal breaker for me. If you smoke weed, I'm not interested.
skelterhelter Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 No, you're not too rigid or uptight. Pot is a nasty drug. I don't care what anyone says. I hate the sh*t. I dated a guy that was a big time pot smoker and it definitely had a bad effect on him. He was also bipolar and the pot made his manias worse. Pot has since become a deal breaker for me. If you smoke weed, I'm not interested. Yup, this has been my experience as well. Trust me, you do NOT want to date a pot smoker if you do not smoke pot yourself. You will never be their priority, I can tell you that much. I second the "losers" comment someone made above. Harsh, but I'm extremely bitter after getting my heart stomped on by a pot smoking JERK.
ScienceGal Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Not uptight one bit. I wouldn't date someone that smokes pot just like I wouldn't date someone that smokes cigarettes. Or anyone who is lazy, or mean, or has poor hygiene. Knowing your boundaries is better than not knowing them.
Jynxx Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 (edited) I do not smoke pot. None of my boyfriends have smoked pot. Recently I have met several people in their 20s and even in their 30s who smoke pot on a regular basis (more than once per week). I don't like this at all and i sort of consider it a deal breaker. Is this too rigid/uptight? How often is pot in adults in their 20s/30s? There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college;) It depends on location alot, but in most countries I'd be very surprised if over 5% of 25-30yo males smoked weekly. If you think it's a dealbreaker, then it's a dealbreaker, but personally I don't see much of a problem with it. It is a fact that there's a big correlation between smoking pot weekly out of college and being a loser though. Trust me, you do NOT want to date a pot smoker if you do not smoke pot yourself. You will never be their priority :D:D (hope this was actually meant as a joke) Edited February 6, 2012 by Jynxx
misssmartypants Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 I wouldn't date a pot smoker. My parents were pot heads and dealers and growers when I was a small child. I remember living in filth with strangers coming and going, some of them were nice, but some were also scary. I was the oldest of my siblings, so if we wanted to eat, I had to cook it, if we wanted a clean home, we had to clean it, but we didn't know what a clean home even was so of course that didn't happen. I know that there are pot smokers who are otherwise healthy, functional members of society, but to me there are just too many negatives. Unless you live in a few specific areas, smoking pot requires you to interact with criminal elements. Being caught with it results in criminal charges, loss of job, possible loss of children. ITs just not worth the potential negatives.
ShannonMI Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Yup, this has been my experience as well. Trust me, you do NOT want to date a pot smoker if you do not smoke pot yourself. You will never be their priority, I can tell you that much. I second the "losers" comment someone made above. Harsh, but I'm extremely bitter after getting my heart stomped on by a pot smoking JERK. Very true, but this guy I dated ended up quitting the wacky tobacky and we are giving it another shot. A month and a half in, so far so good. If he starts up with that sh*t again, that will be it. I won't put up with it for a second. And you are right. I was never a priority when he smoked. The pot was #1. I tried getting him to quit many times without luck, but finally he had an epiphany and decided to stop. He realized his life was going no where and it exacerbated his biopolar issues. Thank the f*cking Lord he woke up. Not many stoners do.
ThaWholigan Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Potheads need love too LOL (Well, I meet lots of girls who are potheads so, I suppose they get enough love lol)
Woggle Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I think pot the same way I do alcohol. Doing it on occasion and using moderation is fine but don't make it a habit and get addicted. I doubt anybody here would hold it against somebody if they had the occasional glass of wine or a beer so why judge them for the occasional joint?
misssmartypants Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I think pot the same way I do alcohol. Doing it on occasion and using moderation is fine but don't make it a habit and get addicted. I doubt anybody here would hold it against somebody if they had the occasional glass of wine or a beer so why judge them for the occasional joint? You can't go to jail for driving from point A to point B with wine in the car. I wont lose my teaching license for being caught with wine in my home. My children will not be placed in foster care if I take them to the grape harvest next summer. Its a risk-benefit thing. There is way too much to lose.
ditzchic Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I smoked weed a couple of times in college. It really wasn't for me. I would much rather drink for thrills. I've never dated a total stoner but I have dated guys that smoke occasionally. As long as it's in moderation and they don't expect me to do it or do it around me, I can handle it. Oh and they also can't always be telling me stories about that totally amazingly awesome thing they did with their buddies that one time 5 years ago when they were high. Those stories are soooooo lame! (I feel the same way about drunk stories too ) Most of the stories aren't even entertaining. And the way stoners or ex-stoners always seem to crack themselves up with them makes me feel a little sad for them....
ThaWholigan Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I smoked weed a couple of times in college. It really wasn't for me. I would much rather drink for thrills. I've never dated a total stoner but I have dated guys that smoke occasionally. As long as it's in moderation and they don't expect me to do it or do it around me, I can handle it. Oh and they also can't always be telling me stories about that totally amazingly awesome thing they did with their buddies that one time 5 years ago when they were high. Those stories are soooooo lame! (I feel the same way about drunk stories too ) Most of the stories aren't even entertaining. And the way stoners or ex-stoners always seem to crack themselves up with them makes me feel a little sad for them.... I ain't gonna lie, I always do that! Mind you, we behaved pretty badly when we were out and drunk, even daggering (any black people here or bashment listeners know what I'm talking about lol)
Stupid Girl Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 It depends on location alot, but in most countries I'd be very surprised if over 5% of 25-30yo males smoked weekly. I just spit my coke onto the screen. Where do you live, Iraq? Maybe it's just where I live (Canada, so lol), but I'd say upwards of 50% of 25-30 year old males smoke pot, at least socially (and honestly that 50% in generously low - generally everybody you see who takes any part in social nightlife does it). That being said, it's still allowed to be a deal breaker for you. I know pot smokers who have deal breakers such that they will not date cigarette smokers. To each their own.
norajane Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I think pot the same way I do alcohol. Doing it on occasion and using moderation is fine but don't make it a habit and get addicted. I doubt anybody here would hold it against somebody if they had the occasional glass of wine or a beer so why judge them for the occasional joint? Agreed. I lived in San Francisco for years, and almost everyone I met smoked pot occasionally, even the people I worked with (whom I wouldn't expect would smoke based on job and demographics). I prefer it to alcohol myself, and would have no problem dating a guy who smoked pot sometimes provided that he has and keeps his life & head together, as I do mine, just like with alcohol. I am 44 with a great job, financially secure, maintain loving relationships with friends and family, and with the wonderful man in my life.
Jynxx Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 You can't go to jail for driving from point A to point B with wine in the car. I wont lose my teaching license for being caught with wine in my home. You're exaggerating, right? Please tell me you can't lose your job and go to jail for transporting a user quantity of pot. Land of the Free, LOL. I just spit my coke onto the screen. Where do you live, Iraq? Maybe it's just where I live (Canada, so lol), but I'd say upwards of 50% of 25-30 year old males smoke pot, at least socially (and honestly that 50% in generously low - generally everybody you see who takes any part in social nightlife does it). Europe. Obviously many people will take a drag if a joint is passed around, but there's a difference between being at a house party and taking a drag and smoking on a weekly basis. Most people don't even go out weekly and on most house parties there isn't any going around anyway, so to smoke weekly people would need to buy and smoke at their own home, which as I said is only done by a very small minority. Your username seems spot on.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Very true, but this guy I dated ended up quitting the wacky tobacky and we are giving it another shot. A month and a half in, so far so good. If he starts up with that sh*t again, that will be it. I won't put up with it for a second. And you are right. I was never a priority when he smoked. The pot was #1. I tried getting him to quit many times without luck, but finally he had an epiphany and decided to stop. He realized his life was going no where and it exacerbated his biopolar issues. Thank the f*cking Lord he woke up. Not many stoners do. That sounds like a bad idea. I just spit my coke onto the screen. Where do you live, Iraq? Maybe it's just where I live (Canada, so lol), but I'd say upwards of 50% of 25-30 year old males smoke pot, at least socially (and honestly that 50% in generously low - generally everybody you see who takes any part in social nightlife does it). That being said, it's still allowed to be a deal breaker for you. I know pot smokers who have deal breakers such that they will not date cigarette smokers. To each their own. No 50% is way too high. It's probably more like 15-20%. I suppose some areas it's higher, but they are going to be area's densely populated with losers, like downtown Portland.
veggirl Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Smoking weed regularly in college, fine whatever. Smoking weed regularly past age 24? Overgrown adolescents! Not interested in that.
Stupid Girl Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Untouchable, are you actually from Canada? I live in the most populous city in this country, and I can tell you if you go out somewhere and meet someone between the ages of 25-30 and they DON'T smoke pot, you're like "where is this person from?" Haha. Jynxx, my username is a joke, can you tell me how I'm stupid based on my comment? Or is it supposed to be a shot at me because you're assuming I'm a pot smoker? Because I'm willing to wager I have a way better job than you, and I have a Bachelors degree, and am in the process of getting a graduate degree by taking nightschool after work, AND I still have time to hang out with friends and have fun! So to me, that's pretty awesome. But I guess you're right, I'm just a lazy, unambitious pot smoker.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Untouchable, are you actually from Canada? I live in the most populous city in this country, and I can tell you if you go out somewhere and meet someone between the ages of 25-30 and they DON'T smoke pot, you're like "where is this person from?" Haha. Jynxx, my username is a joke, can you tell me how I'm stupid based on my comment? Or is it supposed to be a shot at me because you're assuming I'm a pot smoker? Because I'm willing to wager I have a way better job than you, and I have a Bachelors degree, and am in the process of getting a graduate degree by taking nightschool after work, AND I still have time to hang out with friends and have fun! So to me, that's pretty awesome. But I guess you're right, I'm just a lazy, unambitious pot smoker. I'm not from Canada, but if you are... then I would believe it when you say most people smoke pot around you. The biggest losers I've ever known either have moved to Canada or moved to the border. I have known quite a few potheads who do well in the world of college. They rarely can handle anything difficult like engineering or biochemistry. Typically they major in Psychology or fingerpainting... ect. I've also known some very occasional pot smokers that are well adjusted with a great career. However, they are very light users.
make me believe Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I don't have a problem with occasional use, but if it's a dealbreaker for you then that's totally fine. Everyone is allowed to set their own dealbreakers. If it eliminates a large number of people in your social circle, then that's just something you have to accept. None of the people that I know who smoke are what I would consider a pothead, and 1x a week doesn't sound like a pothead to me either. It's like if someone gets a nice beer buzz on the weekend. That doesn't indicate an alcohol problem to me, and neither does smoking a joint on Saturday nights. Daily use, or several times a week, or smoking before work.... those situations I'd have a problem with.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Recently I have met several people in their 20s and even in their 30s who smoke pot on a regular basis (more than once per week). Such fools are too dense to understand that the rest of us can pick them out of a crowd and avoid them (as potential mates, roomies, employees, neighbors, conversations, etc) as we would the plague. Thank heaven some discrimination is still legal!
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