concernedPotato Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 My girlfriend came back from vacation last week and she started acting all weird. She was acting distant when I saw her and later that night she texted me saying we needed to talk. She said things aren't the same anymore, she said we used to talk for hours and never run out of things to talk about but i dont really see that as my fault because when I try and start a conversation, she responds with a one word text. She says she isn't happy anymore but she says she still loves me and wants to stay with me. She suggested some time apart but i think it would end up like this again. She keeps telling me it's her and i haven't done anything wrong and that her "heart isn't in it lately". I'm seriously so confused. I don't know what to do since she says its not my fault and when I ask her what I can do she says "I dont know". We're really honest with each other so I dont think there is anything she isn't telling me.
Philosoraptor Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Well she said she was unhappy. I assume you two are young and haven't experienced much in life? She is just being honest and you can respect her for that. Let her go because if you cling onto her you are only going to get hurt more or she is going to cheat or start looking during the relationship.
Author concernedPotato Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 I don't see why she's unhappy though. I have thought of ending it but we both want this to work out.
Philosoraptor Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 From what I gather from your history you are recently out of high school. You are both young and learning about yourselves. Maybe she wants to experience something else? Maybe she is growing apart from you? From what you wrote she doesn't want to lose you, but she wants to try other things and really experience life.
ditzchic Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Her heart isn't in it. Let it go while you still think fondly of each other. Don't the wound fester. Things rarely get better when it's already reached this point.
Author concernedPotato Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 She says she wants us back to how we were more than anything. I'm not too sure she wants to try other things because of how she has been hurt in the past and she knows I wouldn't do anything to hurt her like that. But I think you're right and might take your advice and break up with her
veggirl Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 This was right after she got back from vaca? You sure she didn't cheat on you while she was gone...? Just seems like quite suspicious timing.
Andy_K Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 She got nailed by someone else while on holiday, and now she wants you to initiate a breakup with her so she can escape your relationship guilt-free and play the victim card.
ShannonMI Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 (edited) My girlfriend came back from vacation last week and she started acting all weird. She was acting distant when I saw her and later that night she texted me saying we needed to talk. She said things aren't the same anymore, she said we used to talk for hours and never run out of things to talk about but i dont really see that as my fault because when I try and start a conversation, she responds with a one word text. She says she isn't happy anymore but she says she still loves me and wants to stay with me. She suggested some time apart but i think it would end up like this again. She keeps telling me it's her and i haven't done anything wrong and that her "heart isn't in it lately". I'm seriously so confused. I don't know what to do since she says its not my fault and when I ask her what I can do she says "I dont know". We're really honest with each other so I dont think there is anything she isn't telling me. I wonder if she cheated on you while on vacation. That happened to me once. I went away for a week to Florida and when I came back my guy said we needed to talk. He told me he had kissed some other girl while I was away and thought that something was missing in our relationship. That something being passion. We ended up trying to work it out and stayed together another 2 years, but then broke up. It was tough. I feel for you in this situation because while you think everything is cool and good between the two of you, your girl doesn't. I've been there and it's a terrible feeling. Edited February 6, 2012 by ShannonMI
ShannonMI Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 She got nailed by someone else while on holiday, and now she wants you to initiate a breakup with her so she can escape your relationship guilt-free and play the victim card. Pretty much!!!!
Eddie Edirol Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 "Its not you, its me" is the biggest lie ever told. She's been unattracted to you for a while now, gathering a list of things that killed her attraction to you, that she doesnt want to fix, and she feels too guilty to confess to you. She's been hanging onto you until she finds someone else, and it looks like she has. She's going to break it off with you, because as much as you think she will be honest, she wont. People lie during breakups, just when you trust them the most. She didnt tell you what killed her attraction to you, and she will break it off soon, so you better badger her now to tell you the truth about what killed it for her. Theres nothing you can do to save it either, and dont try, just agree to break it off, but you want the real reason.
Author concernedPotato Posted February 7, 2012 Author Posted February 7, 2012 So we were talking today and she said she wants to stay together and that she loves me and wants me to be happy. I'm going to keep all the advice you have all given me in mind and if I suspect she has cheated or really isn't attracted to me, I'm gonna end it.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 She's got GIGS. No amount of begging pleading or prodding will make her change her mind. Don't ever settle for second best if she can't make you first. The best thing to do is dump her, and move on. Next thing you'll know, she's going to start coming to you crying.
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 Sounds like she's looking for something else... This was right after she got back from vaca? You sure she didn't cheat on you while she was gone...? Just seems like quite suspicious timing. She got nailed by someone else while on holiday, and now she wants you to initiate a breakup with her so she can escape your relationship guilt-free and play the victim card. All the above is the truth. She's acting distant to you; she's trying to find ways to argue with you and make up stupid phony reasons to blame you for things in the relationships; and she wants to take a break. All that = she met some new guys, wants to date him, and is trying to passive-aggressively end the relationship.
g450 Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 Sounds like she's looking for something else... Or most likely already has found it. As others have already said. She found another guy. She is just too much of a coward to be honest with you about it. Let her go.
veggirl Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 So we were talking today and she said she wants to stay together and that she loves me and wants me to be happy. I'm going to keep all the advice you have all given me in mind and if I suspect she has cheated or really isn't attracted to me, I'm gonna end it. Hm. Are you happy? Are you happy even though she told you she was basically checked out of the R just a few days ago? Most likely--whatever she had going on on the side ended. So now she's ready to be back.
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