Should I end it?

[misswilson]

Hi,

 

I have been in a LDR for a year and a half with a guy who was my best friend for years before that. Our relationship is only long distance during term time since university is the reason we are so far apart, during the summer and christmas holidays we are both back home and we visit often in between. This has worked well for us so far since it means we can concentrate on our studies and have fun together during our times off, however, I'm not sure if it is what I want anymore. This is my final year and that is my priority, this has been a topic of disagreement however since my bf does not see why me visiting him as often is not an option. During the week he booked flights for me to come and see him despite the fact that I don't have time or money and that he is the one with a few weeks off! Everyone else seems to think this is romantic but I think its demanding and I am not looking forward to going, I'm not sure I even will. That's the problem though, I don't know why I don't want to go. Money is always a problem, I'm a student, its never stopped me before, as for time off, its thur to mon, hardly gonna get much done over a weekend anyway. I think that there must be another reason but I'm not sure what it is. When we are on the phone to each other, often I feel worse after we talk, we also had a few serious conversations over christmas which mostly revolved around my ex who I cannot seem to get over and the fact that I am currently applying for jobs for after my degree and although I could end up much closer to my bf (which he wants) I could also end up much farther away! I am also anxious about meeting one of his new housemates since she sparked a little jealousy in me last year. I just don't know what to do, do you think it is all because of this other girl (who btw nothing happened with I was just being insecure, she is very pretty and annoyingly keeps using pics of my bf and her as her fb profile pic! she is also dating one of his other housemates) or do you think there is something else which is making me so unhappy? I just don't know.

 

Sorry its so long, hope you can help!

 

Thanks

[Zaphod B]

You sure there is nothing going on between him and this other girl?

 

Anyway, back to your main issue, I think that perhaps you are realising its time to move on to new things. You have itchy feet. You can't make yourself feel the way you used to feel. If he is becoming controlling then that's not a good thing either. Maybe it's just time for a change?

[salparadise]

When we are on the phone to each other, often I feel worse after we talk, we also had a few serious conversations over christmas which mostly revolved around my ex who I cannot seem to get over...

 

To me, this speaks volumes. When you realize that the energy exchange is negative, or even neutral, it's time to reconsider. Then your admission of not being over your ex just seals the deal. Do the poor guy a favor and cut him loose. He's wanting a real girlfriend who's willing to invest in and commit to a relationship, and you are obviously not that person.