Titania22 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Hey Guys, How important should it be that someone can construct a sentence when it comes to dating. I got this message yesterday:- "yeh i understand that it be nice to meet up again at the next meetup get to know each other more" I don't know if the writer is just lazy or honestly doesn't know how to construct a sentence, but I can't help but cringing when I read it. As for the writer, the only thing i know about him is he seems confident with an outgoing personality. I haven't actually spoken to the person so I don't know anything else. So is this the way of communication these days, and I should just get used to it or what? I am in no way a grammar nazi, but I do like a sentence that flows when I read it. Oh and this was email not text message.
jobaba Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Hey Guys, How important should it be that someone can construct a sentence when it comes to dating. I got this message yesterday:- "yeh i understand that it be nice to meet up again at the next meetup get to know each other more" I don't know if the writer is just lazy or honestly doesn't know how to construct a sentence, but I can't help but cringing when I read it. As for the writer, the only thing i know about him is he seems confident with an outgoing personality. I haven't actually spoken to the person so I don't know anything else. So is this the way of communication these days, and I should just get used to it or what? I am in no way a grammar nazi, but I do like a sentence that flows when I read it. Oh and this was email not text message. Most women I've met who were born in the US or have been here for a decent amount of time have a pretty strong grasp of proper grammar. On the other hand, I've met several men who had laughable English skills. One of my ex-girlfriends was a graduate student in a language art who had never lived in the US the year I met her. Her grasp of proper English grammar far exceeded that of some of my male co-workers who were born and raised on American soil. Women just read more. So ... I've never encountered this problem in my dating travails. If I did, it'd probably be in the back of my mind like you.
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Most women I've met who were born in the US or have been here for a decent amount of time have a pretty strong grasp of proper grammar. Different experience than what I've had. I meet many, many women with bad grammar. Try reading their comments on myspace, facebook, twitter, and other social networking sites. OP, if their grammar is like that once or twice that's okay. But that's how they generally write...nah, I'll pass.
RecordProducer Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 "yeh i understand that it be nice to meet up again at the next meetup get to know each other more"I would not give the person who pooped out this sentence one minute of my time! So is this the way of communication these days, and I should just get used to it or what? Get used to what? Illiterate, dumb people? It's not today's way of communication.
Author Titania22 Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 I would not give the person who pooped out this sentence one minute of my time! Get used to what? Illiterate, dumb people? It's not today's way of communication. :lmao:This made me laugh! Thankyou Guys for the responses. I haven't responded to the message yet, because I am so dumbfounded by it. I am not sure what to say that won't sound mean or elitist in some way, or alternatively unintentionally think I am interested.
D-Lish Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 I have dated someone that was intelligent, but not a great speller. He was a mechanic, quite sharp, we had great conversations- but he couldn't spell to save his life. He didn't have any formal academic training. He went straight from High School into an apprenticeship. Fixing cars was his passion, not literature or writing. I judged him on our face to face interactions where he demonstrated a lot of wisdom, insight, and sensitivity. I dated another guy that was in finance, he was smart in his own right, but again, not great at writing or spelling. Just food for thought. You've already met him, so what do your instincts say with regard to that meeting? Not being able to write well doesn't automatically equal "dumb".
FitChick Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 A lot of successful people are dyslexic. Here are a few dozen. Many will surprise you.
Author Titania22 Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 I have dated someone that was intelligent, but not a great speller. He was a mechanic, quite sharp, we had great conversations- but he couldn't spell to save his life. He didn't have any formal academic training. He went straight from High School into an apprenticeship. Fixing cars was his passion, not literature or writing. I judged him on our face to face interactions where he demonstrated a lot of wisdom, insight, and sensitivity. I dated another guy that was in finance, he was smart in his own right, but again, not great at writing or spelling. Just food for thought. You've already met him, so what do your instincts say with regard to that meeting? Not being able to write well doesn't automatically equal "dumb". Well I haven't actually spoken to him. So I don't know how he conveys himself face to face. And I already had a marriage with someone who was smart when it came to machines, but (I write with fairly simple language) thought I used too many big words in my writing. And a relationship with someone who had bad spelling, but was smart enough to either use a spell checker or ask someone. So I do understand it is not all about being good with the written word. However, I find it strange that you wouldn't make an effort to at least use a spell/grammar checker if you knew it was your weak spot and you wanted to attract someone who you haven't actually had a conversation with yet. Personally, I know I have a confusion with social etiquette in dating, so in stead of just flying blind, I will ask friends for advice in that area, because I don't want to come on too strong, or not strong enough. To me it makes sense that if you are weak in an area, you will get advice from others more knowledgeable.
D-Lish Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Well I haven't actually spoken to him. So I don't know how he conveys himself face to face. And I already had a marriage with someone who was smart when it came to machines, but (I write with fairly simple language) thought I used too many big words in my writing. And a relationship with someone who had bad spelling, but was smart enough to either use a spell checker or ask someone. So I do understand it is not all about being good with the written word. However, I find it strange that you wouldn't make an effort to at least use a spell/grammar checker if you knew it was your weak spot and you wanted to attract someone who you haven't actually had a conversation with yet. Personally, I know I have a confusion with social etiquette in dating, so in stead of just flying blind, I will ask friends for advice in that area, because I don't want to come on too strong, or not strong enough. To me it makes sense that if you are weak in an area, you will get advice from others more knowledgeable. My ex made a lot of money as a financial advisor, but he'd constantly ask for clarification on "big words". Someone that isn't overly concerned with spelling isn't likely to use spell check.
johan Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 I won't engage with someone who is just lazy or careless with spelling or sentence structure. If she just makes mistakes or isn't a great writer, that's not a big deal, but it's important that she cares enough to at least try. It isn't how things are today. It's just what lazy people resort to. Just look at how the average LS post is written. Generally pretty well.
Author Titania22 Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 My ex made a lot of money as a financial advisor, but he'd constantly ask for clarification on "big words". Someone that isn't overly concerned with spelling isn't likely to use spell check. Exactly! It's not about being perfect, none of us are. It's about doing our best, and being willing to solicit the help of other where required. That guys sentence above was just wrong, sentence construction, lack of capitals, and a lack of punctuation. You know if he had put in the missing words and added a couple of commas it would have flowed. yeh, i understand that it would be nice to meet up again at the next meetup, and get to know each other more See that isn't a perfect sentence, but at least I can follow it. It makes me wonder if he even read what he had written before he clicked send.
RecordProducer Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 "yeh i understand that it be nice to meet up again at the next meetup get to know each other more" He actually didn't misspell any word. He even discerned between "meet up" as a verb and "meetup" as a noun (slang, but nonetheless legit - much like the word "legit"). He just doesn't know how to write - or how to speak, because even if read out loud, his sentence sounds incoherent. I am not sure what to say that won't sound mean or elitist in some way, or alternatively unintentionally think I am interested.Don't tell him about his writing if you just want to ditch him. But if you want to help him improve his writing skills, recommend a good second-grade teacher to tutor him.
riggs Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 I am totally turned off by spelling and grammar errors.
Els Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Not entirely rational, but bad English turns me off So. Very. Much. I like someone to have a way with words (not necessarily in the suave/player/what-a-girl-wants-to-hear sense, but in the writer/witty comedian sense). I accept shortcuts via SMS, but that sentence via email would just drive me batty.
zengirl Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 One of my 'must haves' when I was dating was not only decent grammar but a guy who could write excellent texts and messages and notes (someone who's got good grammar, spelling, handwriting, and is also pithy and excellent with diction), and I got it. My hubby was a writer all through college and still writes on the side a bit (not his actual profession -- he's a programmer). I dated a couple of writers, and every guy I dated could at least write correctly and turn a good sentence. So, do you have to put up with bad grammar? No. As to what it means: Well, research suggests that bad handwriting and bad spelling have absolutely NOTHING to do with IQ or other intelligence or achievement measuring, but bad grammar does, at least in your first/only language. (Bad grammar in a second language means very little, especially if your errors mirror the grammar of your first language.) Grammar is actually more highly linked to mathematical intelligence than verbal intelligence, though, ironically, though it impacts both. That's what I garner from research at least.
TaraMaiden Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Hey Guys, How important should it be that someone can construct a sentence when it comes to dating. I got this message yesterday:- "yeh i understand that it be nice to meet up again at the next meetup get to know each other more" I don't know if the writer is just lazy or honestly doesn't know how to construct a sentence, but I can't help but cringing when I read it..... I feel 'ya'.... says it all.....
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