Author joystickd Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 I disagree. I think women play games usually for attention or to test a man, therefore if the man was her first choice, she might still play games. Women learn when it comes to me now at my present state I always win at power struggles. It seem like that is what you want when it comes to dating. Hell why even test. A woman wants to test me she can test by herself. Power struggles in dating are done by immature people. Its so much more easier to be straight forward and honest.
Radu Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Last I read the mental capacity of both men & women were equal. That means BOTH genders have the same capacity to play games with the other. And they do. But, each gender initiates different games. Actually, i'd say women have more capacity to play games and to some degree are conditioned by society to be good at playing games. Think in terms of evolution and the fact that our advantage has been strength while theirs has been the ability to form bonds in group. The part of the brain that deals with figuring out relationships is better developed in women. Are There Differences between the Brains of Males and Females?
FrustratedStandards Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Hmm.. this is interesting. I have never played head games. If I detect something like that, it's an immediate turn off and I don't take the guy seriously. HOWEVER, the whole "missing an important and very desireable quality" doesn't mean head games...it means cheating. Women cheat when something so important is missing in a guy who is otherwise perfect. She seeks this from another man so that it's not so bad that her main guy doesn't have it. She gets it "elsewhere" like my sister who cheats on her husband because he is the perfect husband, but he isn't "hot sex". So she goes out and gets hot sex and a hot guy for a night or two, and comes home to her husband. Her husband is not a hot guy, and no "hot guy" is husband material, so this is her way of balancing it out.
Author joystickd Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Hmm.. this is interesting. I have never played head games. If I detect something like that, it's an immediate turn off and I don't take the guy seriously. HOWEVER, the whole "missing an important and very desireable quality" doesn't mean head games...it means cheating. Women cheat when something so important is missing in a guy who is otherwise perfect. She seeks this from another man so that it's not so bad that her main guy doesn't have it. She gets it "elsewhere" like my sister who cheats on her husband because he is the perfect husband, but he isn't "hot sex". So she goes out and gets hot sex and a hot guy for a night or two, and comes home to her husband. Her husband is not a hot guy, and no "hot guy" is husband material, so this is her way of balancing it out. I agree with that somewhat.
Radu Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 This is a very interesting post. I intend to fully thank the women that were honest with me, because ... damn, maturity in this gender sure is lacking.
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I agree with that. When I am really into a guy, it's very obvious with no mixed signals. When I am hesitant or not THAT interested, I will stall the process a bit until I figure it out. This may come across as game playing.
Author joystickd Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 I agree with that. When I am really into a guy, it's very obvious with no mixed signals. When I am hesitant or not THAT interested, I will stall the process a bit until I figure it out. This may come across as game playing. Why not just be straight forward and honest? Its a whole lot easier than doing all that because it causes more problems when he realizes what is going on
persevere Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Women learn when it comes to me now at my present state I always win at power struggles. It seem like that is what you want when it comes to dating. Hell why even test. A woman wants to test me she can test by herself. Power struggles in dating are done by immature people. Its so much more easier to be straight forward and honest. Agreed. Why declare war and play the power struggle? I've gotten to where if I notice this, I am done. I don't have time for it. It's not fun and not worth the effort. Not something that promises to be a good, or even decent, foundation for any kind of relationship. I am looking for a woman, not a girl who is still meshed to her college ways.
serial muse Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Why not just be straight forward and honest? Its a whole lot easier than doing all that because it causes more problems when he realizes what is going on I generally agree with this, from my personal experience (I'm a woman) - I have had a guy hesitate and not be that responsive because I guess he wasn't sure, and it's quite confusing and frustrating, and would set the tone for the relationship later. Bleh. So I don't like that. But that said, I think that this, and jobaba's earlier comment, just goes to show that what is game-playing to one person is reasonable to another. Much of it is a matter of perception - is it "better" to honestly express ambivalence or to hide it until one makes up one's mind?? Is either of those truly game-playing? I don't think so, even though both could potentially be hurtful. But I think intent matters. Sometimes I think we call things game-playing because what we're really saying is that it hurts when people aren't sure they want us. But that doesn't make it game-playing, necessarily. My personal definition of game-playing is more rigid and rather more precise: I think it's about the intention to mess with peoples' heads for an ego boost or because one has been taught that's how you reel 'em in.
zengirl Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Why not just be straight forward and honest? Its a whole lot easier than doing all that because it causes more problems when he realizes what is going on I think a lot of 'games' or communication that looks like it lacks honesty or straightforwardness is really just because the person communicating hasn't decided precisely how she/he feels (men do this too - since they are less frequently pursued than women, it may be less of an issue in this particular 'type' of way via sussing out initial interest). Saying, "I'm not into you" is the right thing to do when you know for sure. Expressing interest is the right thing to do when you know for sure. I am a lucky person in this respect, as in dating I was always pretty good and quick at making such decisions, but not everyone is. I really think this can look like game-playing when it's really someone who doesn't understand how they, themselves, feel about the situation or the other person. At any rate, as MC said about games earlier: Someone who truly plays games does it because it's part of who they are, not because of the target.
HopelessRomantic76 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Hmm.. this is interesting. I have never played head games. If I detect something like that, it's an immediate turn off and I don't take the guy seriously. HOWEVER, the whole "missing an important and very desireable quality" doesn't mean head games...it means cheating. Women cheat when something so important is missing in a guy who is otherwise perfect. She seeks this from another man so that it's not so bad that her main guy doesn't have it. She gets it "elsewhere" like my sister who cheats on her husband because he is the perfect husband, but he isn't "hot sex". So she goes out and gets hot sex and a hot guy for a night or two, and comes home to her husband. Her husband is not a hot guy, and no "hot guy" is husband material, so this is her way of balancing it out. My friend does the same thing she loves her husband to death great father protector provider but is gross looking,shes cheating on him with his friend whos a stud muffin but makes sure they dont get caught,she loves her husband to death but just doesnt physically desire him like that
Author joystickd Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 My friend does the same thing she loves her husband to death great father protector provider but is gross looking,shes cheating on him with his friend whos a stud muffin but makes sure they dont get caught,she loves her husband to death but just doesnt physically desire him like that Its a shame she does that.
Author joystickd Posted July 5, 2012 Author Posted July 5, 2012 I agree that some do it because that is who they are.
Algermas Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 As a man I play games all day every day, why? Because I was exposed to the game at an early age and decided to master it instead of hating it. I consider myself an expert in dismantling confidence.
NYC-BigKat Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 I read an article about lies and head games from both men and women. I say this quote the author heard from a woman. Women rarely play 'head games' with you when you are their number one choice for romantic and sexual companionship. Rarely, if ever. If you have all of the qualities that they are looking for in a man, 99% chance, a woman is not going to play games with you. She is going to snatch you up, or hope that you snatch her up. Women usually only play games with you when some quality that she wants in a man ... some very desirable attribute that she is fond of ... is missing. In other words, you are her number two, number three, or number four choice for romantic and sexual companionship. That is when a woman is going to play a lot of mind games with you Is there any validity to this statement? And to the men that want to add their two cents in. Have you played head games with a woman and why? Um...how can a guy like me be number 1 when I'm not getting any chance to show her? I think girls are just being too too picky .
fishtaco Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 As a man I play games all day every day, why? Because I was exposed to the game at an early age and decided to master it instead of hating it. I consider myself an expert in dismantling confidence. Good for you, but every situation demands a different game. I consider dismantling confidence as a "damage" game. I.e. in order to achieve your goals, you have to cause damage. Not my preferred way to play. Some guys can do that. Be the biggest a-hole, make the women feel worthless, but the women love it. It's all magic to me. I don't know how to do that. I work in the neutral area if I have to play games. I do hot & cold, I do ambiguity, i.e. keep them guessing, I do I don't give a crap because I have too many options. The dating 101 basics. I don't have any advanced skills like confidence dismantling, because I learned how to date from women -- these are their games that I've learned. I guess if I run into a bunch of confidence dismantling women, then maybe I'd pick that up too. But alas, I think it's too late for me. My dating personality has been formed. If I run into one of those women, most likely I'd just bail out on them. And to the OP, I disagree. Some women will play games regardless. Sometimes it's out of their own insecurities.
Algermas Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 Good for you, but every situation demands a different game. I consider dismantling confidence as a "damage" game. I.e. in order to achieve your goals, you have to cause damage. Not my preferred way to play. Some guys can do that. Be the biggest a-hole, make the women feel worthless, but the women love it. It's all magic to me. I don't know how to do that. I work in the neutral area if I have to play games. I do hot & cold, I do ambiguity, i.e. keep them guessing, I do I don't give a crap because I have too many options. The dating 101 basics. I don't have any advanced skills like confidence dismantling, because I learned how to date from women -- these are their games that I've learned. I guess if I run into a bunch of confidence dismantling women, then maybe I'd pick that up too. But alas, I think it's too late for me. My dating personality has been formed. If I run into one of those women, most likely I'd just bail out on them. And to the OP, I disagree. Some women will play games regardless. Sometimes it's out of their own insecurities. It is a damage game, I employ a scorched earth policy when it comes to dealing with women - once im done she has either learned a valuable lesson or she requires therapy. Not because I like it, but because it works.
fishtaco Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 It is a damage game, I employ a scorched earth policy when it comes to dealing with women - once im done she has either learned a valuable lesson or she requires therapy. Not because I like it, but because it works. You are certainly more advanced than I am in terms of games. But I propose this, you don't always have to bring out the big guns. Sometimes, when things are going your way, you don't really need to game.
Algermas Posted July 5, 2012 Posted July 5, 2012 You are certainly more advanced than I am in terms of games. But I propose this, you don't always have to bring out the big guns. Sometimes, when things are going your way, you don't really need to game. My way guarantees repeat business. I get drunk dials from girls that I bagged within days of them turning legal ( a decade ago ). Of course I have no interest in elderly women but fact remains that, when done properly, you can control a woman for life.
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