joystickd Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 I read an article about lies and head games from both men and women. I say this quote the author heard from a woman. Women rarely play 'head games' with you when you are their number one choice for romantic and sexual companionship. Rarely, if ever. If you have all of the qualities that they are looking for in a man, 99% chance, a woman is not going to play games with you. She is going to snatch you up, or hope that you snatch her up. Women usually only play games with you when some quality that she wants in a man ... some very desirable attribute that she is fond of ... is missing. In other words, you are her number two, number three, or number four choice for romantic and sexual companionship. That is when a woman is going to play a lot of mind games with you Is there any validity to this statement? And to the men that want to add their two cents in. Have you played head games with a woman and why?
ThaWholigan Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Interesting thread..... The way I understand it, the amount of "games" there are is vast, and there are socially acceptable ones and indeed, darker ones. Not to generalize, but it would appear to a lot of the men I speak to offline and online that women appear to be more adept at understanding these games, not necessarily playing them. As for the above text, I speculate that there is a lot of accuracy in this statement for a myriad of reasons, but it still depends on what one would personally consider a game in terms of dating, as there are many games within just this one figment of socializing. It would also depend on the woman that one is dealing with, some women don't play games at all. Some women always play games even if they're creaming their panties about that particular man. Either way, I believe that a significant portion of women always act in a way that they feel is dignified in any case with regards to men they are attracted to and men they aren't (even if some actually aren't being dignified at all!!). For the other question, I would describe myself as an analytical type, I like to think and mentally masturbate about all kinds of stuff, so the idea of playing a societal game isn't morally decadent to me personally, it would depend on the game, but I largely believe it to be an amoral activity in some cases. However, I would never try to completely sugarcoat my intentions or attempt to deceive in some manner. I am actually pretty direct and almost unnervingly straightforward in many cases. A fact that was actually presented to me by an astrology no less lol. 1
ditzchic Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 I agree with that to a point but the thing is that it's assuming a woman knows what she wants. Some women (and men as well) really don't. That's when the unintentional game playing comes in. She thinks you have everything she wants, until she's not sure anymore. Or the opposite, she thinks she doesn't want you but then realizes that maybe she does. It has a lot to do with age, maturity and experience level. Game playing always says more about the player than it does the person being played with. 1
Negative Nancy Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 No, it's not true for women, however it is true for men. They all want the hot supermodel, but settle for the plain jane in the meantime and string her along and play games with her.
ThaWholigan Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 I agree with that to a point but the thing is that it's assuming a woman knows what she wants. Some women (and men as well) really don't. That's when the unintentional game playing comes in. She thinks you have everything she wants, until she's not sure anymore. Or the opposite, she thinks she doesn't want you but then realizes that maybe she does. It has a lot to do with age, maturity and experience level. This is quite profound and something that I have considered before but not during my post. The indecision of some people does play a part, and it does have to do with growth. Game playing always says more about the player than it does the person being played with. True, but as I have said, it does depend on the game... No, it's not true for women, however it is true for men. They all want the hot supermodel, but settle for the plain jane in the meantime and string her along and play games with her. This is a sweeping statement, and I don't think you can put something of that nature on an entire gender. Much in the same way that I don't think that men can put some of the generalizations that they come out with on all women. You can say that it is true for a lot of men, but to then in the same statement claim that women do not do the same thing is a little bit hypocritical. Or perhaps I am being harsh and that this is what your experience has taught you, which in this case, I could never hold that statement against you, only urge you to consider it.
phineas Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Last I read the mental capacity of both men & women were equal. That means BOTH genders have the same capacity to play games with the other. And they do. But, each gender initiates different games. 1
PlumPrincess Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 I'm pretty sure a lot of guys thought I played games. What they never understood is that I wasn't playing games, just hesitating, because I didn't feel comfortable enough with them or because indeed, something important was missing, for example, I liked them a lot, but wasn't physically attracted to them or they were attractive, smart, fun and I thought they were too immature and restless to really settle with a woman. They notice my attraction, but don't understand why I hold back with my affection or the physical part. If I like someone and trust him, I'd be all over him, but it happens quite rarely.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 It's a ridiculous generalization. Playing games is MUCH more related to the person playing them than to the victim of the games. Some women (and men) are just game players. Some of them are really players, some do it out of insecurity, some do it because they were socialized to be that way. Playing games can be kind of self-protective so I imagine that an insecure person might play even MORE games if she finds "Mr. Right" because there is more personal risk involved - more potential hurt. Speaking of generalizations: No, it's not true for women, however it is true for men. They all want the hot supermodel, but settle for the plain jane in the meantime and string her along and play games with her. NN, I find your repeated posts like this really offensive. Why don't you talk about what is going on with you rather than making ignorant generalizations? 1
Author joystickd Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 No, it's not true for women, however it is true for men. They all want the hot supermodel, but settle for the plain jane in the meantime and string her along and play games with her. Join everyone in the real world. Game playing goes both ways. If you are not going to offer any valid input to the actual thread then don't answer. You seem to offer nothing but attack on men
Negative Nancy Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 (edited) Join everyone in the real world. Game playing goes both ways. If you are not going to offer any valid input to the actual thread then don't answer. You seem to offer nothing but attack on men that statement WAS directly from the real world Edited April 29, 2012 by Negative Nancy
grkBoy Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 From my male perspective, I think most of the "games" women play on men are simply about trying to get rid of the guy without telling him the truth. Lord knows a woman can't say "No I won't go out with you. I'm hot and you're ugly. I want and deserve a gorgeous man who makes loads of money and can **** me like a king. You're none of that." And it's hard even for her to say "No, I'm not interested in going out with you or even being friends with you. I'm just not into you like that, not even on a sociable/friendly level." Even just saying "No, I'm not interested. Thanks for asking though." will still get her drama from many men. Yes, we here all say we can handle an honest rejection, but it's amazing how many men out there can't. So she says "maybe" or dances around the issue, or tries to vanish, or successfully vanishes. She might make some excuse of "getting over a bad relationship" when you see it's far from the truth as she's flirting with other guys. When guys play games, it could also be this...but guys have the added notion that they are more likely to want to sleep with a woman, but not commit to her in any way. So they play games at times to see if they can get her into bed, but push her away from the idea of dating him. 2
PlumPrincess Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Women usually only play games with you when some quality that she wants in a man ... some very desirable attribute that she is fond of ... is missing. In situations like that I hesitate with my commitment. Is that "game playing"?
jobaba Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 I read an article about lies and head games from both men and women. I say this quote the author heard from a woman. Women rarely play 'head games' with you when you are their number one choice for romantic and sexual companionship. Rarely, if ever. If you have all of the qualities that they are looking for in a man, 99% chance, a woman is not going to play games with you. She is going to snatch you up, or hope that you snatch her up. Women usually only play games with you when some quality that she wants in a man ... some very desirable attribute that she is fond of ... is missing. In other words, you are her number two, number three, or number four choice for romantic and sexual companionship. That is when a woman is going to play a lot of mind games with you Is there any validity to this statement? And to the men that want to add their two cents in. Have you played head games with a woman and why? Some women play games and some women don't. It's as simple as that. My last GF, even in the beginning when she wasn't sure she was into me, would still text me every day.
pinkie Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 I think most women play games purely derived from high interest. If they like a man or is totally interested in pursuing a relationship, she will most likely do whatever it takes to attain it. i.e. game playing. For the men, it's mostly a game to get her in the sack, but to avoid any committment.
PlumPrincess Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Some women play games and some women don't. It's as simple as that. My last GF, even in the beginning when she wasn't sure she was into me, would still text me every day. What? She wasn't sure if she was into you, but still sent you text messages every day? So, keeping someone on the backburner or displaying signs of interest while you're trying to figure out what's in your best interest is not game-playing?
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 I disagree. I think women play games usually for attention or to test a man, therefore if the man was her first choice, she might still play games. 3
ohmygoshistalk Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 No, it's not true for women, however it is true for men. They all want the hot supermodel, but settle for the plain jane in the meantime and string her along and play games with her. Sorry to make another post i am very tired and very hungry lol. It is sort of true, I noticed most men who complain about women, rejection and being played are men who want the really hot supermodel types. Nobody is saying you have to settle but you also need to look beyond that, seriously. As quoted from Wikipedia One reason why romantic rejection is so common in society is a tendency called falling upward. People generally desire mates that are higher than themselves on such characteristics as status and physical attractiveness, but not ones who are lower. When someone falls in love with a person who has aspirations that are higher, that love is less likely to be reciprocated, potentially leading to rejection. This doesn't go for ALL men , there are good men out there but there are some who constantly watch that mystery pick up artist guy so they can get skills to get HOT girls in their bed.
jobaba Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 What? She wasn't sure if she was into you, but still sent you text messages every day? So, keeping someone on the backburner or displaying signs of interest while you're trying to figure out what's in your best interest is not game-playing? Yes. We met through a friend and she knew we would at least be friends. And we still are friends. In fact, I'm going to call her in a little while. Game playing is anything that could be construed as a ambiguous sign of interest or doing something to make somebody jealous and want you more. Women have done the latter to me even when in the relationship. Being honest is like such: "I kind of like you, but I think we should continue to see others." "I'm starting to really like you. I think about you a lot." "Will you be exclusive with me?" Two of those three quotes I have heard verbatim from a woman.
PlumPrincess Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Yes. We met through a friend and she knew we would at least be friends. And we still are friends. In fact, I'm going to call her in a little while. Game playing is anything that could be construed as a ambiguous sign of interest or doing something to make somebody jealous and want you more. Women have done the latter to me even when in the relationship. Being honest is like such: "I kind of like you, but I think we should continue to see others." "I'm starting to really like you. I think about you a lot." "Will you be exclusive with me?" Two of those three quotes I have heard verbatim from a woman. It's kind of interesting that stringing someone along by lying and feigning interest is rated higher on an ethical scale than "game-playing" or giving out ambiguous signals that are ambiguous, because the feelings behind them are - tatatataaa - ambiguous.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 I disagree. I think women play games usually for attention or to test a man, therefore if the man was her first choice, she might still play games. I also disagree with Joystick's post. But I totally agree with Nikki. I took stock of my own relationship experience. When I play/played games, it was because I really liked the guy and I wanted to keep his interest and not scare him away. So I would play it cool or causual or whatever in the interest of liking him. When I don't like a guy, I am pretty straight forward and simply tell them I don't think we are/would be compatible. I tend to be pretty shy with men so I am not very flirty or obvious with my interest in some guys. I think it's when women CARE, when they start playing games. Otherwise, a woman will just want to move on if she isn't interested.
jobaba Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 It's kind of interesting that stringing someone along by lying and feigning interest is rated higher on an ethical scale than "game-playing" or giving out ambiguous signals that are ambiguous, because the feelings behind them are - tatatataaa - ambiguous. I didn't say that. I really don't know much about game playing. I might have had it done to me a few times, but not really by any one I ever ended up with. I don't do online dating and generally don't date strangers, so I don't have to deal with it much. And I've never played games myself. If I have a question as to a woman is into me or not, I'll assume not and move on...
mesmerized Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 I can't really respond because I never played "games" with men, whether I was interested in them or not. I've also never had a guy complaining about my games or even think I'm playing them, lol.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 I read an article about lies and head games from both men and women. I say this quote the author heard from a woman. Women rarely play 'head games' with you when you are their number one choice for romantic and sexual companionship. Rarely, if ever. If you have all of the qualities that they are looking for in a man, 99% chance, a woman is not going to play games with you. She is going to snatch you up, or hope that you snatch her up. Women usually only play games with you when some quality that she wants in a man ... some very desirable attribute that she is fond of ... is missing. In other words, you are her number two, number three, or number four choice for romantic and sexual companionship. That is when a woman is going to play a lot of mind games with you Is there any validity to this statement? And to the men that want to add their two cents in. Have you played head games with a woman and why? I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but I'm not into head games; always been straight forward. If I like a fellow, he knows it, plain and simple. I've been played a lot and can't imagine doing that to someone. I'm also not a good actor, LOL!!!
persevere Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 (edited) I disagree. I think women play games usually for attention or to test a man, therefore if the man was her first choice, she might still play games. There are some women who play games, while not realizing it. They are just disorganized and somewhat irresponsible. However, I do agree that the vast majority know what they are doing. They are caught up in indecision. They haven't had time to decide if they like you. They are still in a simmering, declining relationship, or recently broken up. Their friends may be mostly still single and they are unsure and insecure of "leaving the pack" too soon. They don't know what to do. That is, until her friends start finally moving on and getting married. Agree, however. I do think much of the games are a test of patience. However, it is grossly misguided and can backfire. When a man really likes a woman, he thinks of her a lot. He cherishes the thought of spending time with her. She can quickly become his focus. If she is slow to respond or flat does not respond to his efforts, a lot goes through his mind. Wow...I thought she liked me. Some men will go overboard to conquer this rejection. I think that may be what she is really looking for. The goal. His demeanor. Is he gonna go ballistic? (anger issues). Call me more? Will he stalk? Will I get some sick satisfaction in winning the power struggle over an otherwise wonderful man? A human being. NO. In most cases. Men have feelings too. They may get hurt. They may be a super guy. Great potential family man who would stop at nothing to please his woman and ensure her safety, welfare, and feelings are intact. But...YOU just F'd that all up. You rescheduled dates. You didn't act like you could give a darn about him. You played games. He's done. you punched his buttons when you didn't really need to at all. You lost his trust and respect. You erased his desires to prove you to his worth. I think a lot of women end up with total d*cks in this manner. The nice guy? He doesn't exactly finish last, but his pride will show him that you may just as well... Edited April 30, 2012 by persevere
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