YouNeverKnow86 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) I am having a rough day guys after finding out my ex girlfriend is now in a relationship with someone new. We have been broken up for 6 months and I just recently found this out, I was doing fine but I am just a little upset. She broke up with me and we have been in no contact since early October (I only broke NC to wish her a Merry Christmas, she ignored me). The reason is because the guy she is dating is the polar opposite of me. It really makes me question her values and what she wants in a guy. Her new boyfriend is a want to be Guido (affliction shirts and all), muscle man, with tats all over his body and is rich (his parents own a big time bakery in the area). My ex is a shy homebody and was brought up in a great old fashion Italian family, this guy seems like trouble and someone who she always told me she would never be attracted too. If this is really her taste in men I would have never dated her in the first place. This guy seems like a "bad boy" and is everything I hate in other guys. I know I shouldn't care but I guess it is a bit of jealousy and shock considering he is the complete opposite of me. It really makes me believe I was never what she wanted and this rich meat-head is her type. She is just nothing like him, she was a down to earth sweet girl that is so shy. I am just amazed by this. Sorry for the rant guys but it just was bothering me today and I just felt like posting. Why do girls end up dating someone that is the complete opposite of their previous ex? Edited February 5, 2012 by YouNeverKnow86
cerridwen Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 My read is she is trying on different styles of guys, seeing what fits, what doesn't and discovering who she is. Is she in her 20s? That would be my guess. Women often experiment with dating several types during this time. Please don't take it as a reflection of you. This guy, YouNever, may very well be a passing phase. He could be a reaction to your split; a representation of a style she's curious about; a wild deviation that felt somewhat forbidden. Whatever it is, it's hers. Feel jealous. Be angry. But try and avoid feeling inferior or insecure. She's figuring things out, I suspect. Don't jump to conclusions. Once you're over feeling angry, focus on you and your path. You still have a life.
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 My read is she is trying on different styles of guys, seeing what fits, what doesn't and discovering who she is. Is she in her 20s? That would be my guess. Women often experiment with dating several types during this time. Please don't take it as a reflection of you. This guy, YouNever, may very well be a passing phase. He could be a reaction to your split; a representation of a style she's curious about; a wild deviation that felt somewhat forbidden. Whatever it is, it's hers. Feel jealous. Be angry. But try and avoid feeling inferior or insecure. She's figuring things out, I suspect. Don't jump to conclusions. Once you're over feeling angry, focus on you and your path. You still have a life. Thank you Cerridwen for your response. She is 22 so yeah what you are saying makes sense. She told me I didn't challenge her enough so she will surely be challenged by this guy. I am 26, so I was over the games and I guess I learned my lesson. Trust me I won't be dating any girls under 25 from this point forward.
cerridwen Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) Thank you Cerridwen for your response. She is 22 so yeah what you are saying makes sense. She told me I didn't challenge her enough so she will surely be challenged by this guy. I am 26, so I was over the games and I guess I learned my lesson. Trust me I won't be dating any girls under 25 from this point forward. *knods head* Yes. I think you're onto it. If one were to look at my dating history, for instance, I seem to have a type. But interfiled within, are some crazy outliers that I dated out of curiosity, a sense of adventure, opportunity. It had nothing to do with previous boyfriends. Simply part of my evolution. Feel better soon. And if you're in the United States, root for the Patriots to win the Super Bowl. Edited February 5, 2012 by cerridwen
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 *knods head* Yes. I think you're onto it. If one were to look at my dating history, for instance, I seem to have a type. But interfiled within, are some crazy outliers that I dated out of curiosity, a sense of adventure, opportunity. It had nothing to do with previous boyfriends. Simply part of my evolution. Feel better soon. And if you're in the United States, root for the Patriots to win the Super Bowl. Thanks again Cerridwen. It is funny because she told me how picky she is in terms of dating and she wouldn't be in a relationship for awhile. Never believe a girl in their early 20's ha ha.
Chi townD Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 First off, this guy isn't rich. His folks are. So, he's just rich by association. If they were to cut him off the dude wouldn't know what to do with himself. And to be quiet frank, guys like this tend to be self-centered douche rockets. I mean, really?!?! The guy your just described sounds like he should be on that TV show, Jersey Shore and those guy ARE douche rockets. But, that's your Ex's problem...not yours. You need to do things for yourself. Get to the gym and get in shape (if your are in shape, then keep going), go back to school and get a degree (if your are in school or have graduated then go for your masters), get a new wardrobe, get a new hairstyle, save your money and take trips to places you wanted to go! Alaska! South Florida! Europe!! Just Go! It's a big world out there waiting to be explored. If your Ex wants to waste her time with Guido and stroke his Ego on how great he is...then her loss.
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 First off, this guy isn't rich. His folks are. So, he's just rich by association. If they were to cut him off the dude wouldn't know what to do with himself. And to be quiet frank, guys like this tend to be self-centered douche rockets. I mean, really?!?! The guy your just described sounds like he should be on that TV show, Jersey Shore and those guy ARE douche rockets. But, that's your Ex's problem...not yours. You need to do things for yourself. Get to the gym and get in shape (if your are in shape, then keep going), go back to school and get a degree (if your are in school or have graduated then go for your masters), get a new wardrobe, get a new hairstyle, save your money and take trips to places you wanted to go! Alaska! South Florida! Europe!! Just Go! It's a big world out there waiting to be explored. If your Ex wants to waste her time with Guido and stroke his Ego on how great he is...then her loss. Chi town, Thanks for the message and everything you said is correct. It honestly made me feel better when I found this out, it was quite comical to me at first then I was angry for about a day. I feel great now, I just hope I never hear from her again.....Months ago I would have done anything to hear her voice, now I really wouldn't want too.
daisydukes Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) Dude I know how you feel! My ex did the exact same thing! He had always had a " type" red-hair and tall and his new girlfriend is short and has black hair but guess what her parents are rich too! Amazing huh? If her parents cut her off he would be gone. I do not even know how these types of guys can even sleep at night:rolleyes: They call those type of people who are in it just for the money gigalos or golddiggers in your case. All girls are not like that and some guys are like that too so it goes both ways so I feel you:) Edited February 9, 2012 by daisydukes
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 Dude I know how you feel! My ex did the exact same thing! He had always had a " type" red-hair and tall and his new girlfriend is short and has black hair but guess what her parents are rich too! Amazing huh? If her parents cut her off he would be gone. I do not even know how these types of guys can even sleep at night:rolleyes: They call those type of people who are in it just for the money gigalos or golddiggers in your case. All girls are not like that and some guys are like that too so it goes both ways so I feel you:) How old is your ex? It is crazy but when I say this guy is the complete opposite I really mean it. I mean I know what I like and all the girls I date usually have similar features.....I also know what I am looking for at an intellectual/personality level. It would be like me dating a Guidette or a punk girl, I wouldn't ever do it.
Chi townD Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 I think what you need to do is heal from this. and when you are ready to date and you've made those changes I described, then I would try to find a cute professional girl that is strong and independent. A girl that has a career and can take care of herself. Therefore, when you do start dating her, she's going to be with you because she WANTS to be with you! Not because she NEEDS to be with you. Big difference there.. Believe me, your Ex is going to be keeping tabs on you and you won't even know it. Once she hears that you moved on, she going to question what she did. And then once she hears that you're wisking your new girl away to the Bahamas for the week she's going to look at Guido and ask, " Why don't you....oh, sorry. Here's your hair gel...why don't you take me anywhere?"
daisydukes Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 My ex is 30 and his new girlfriend is 25 and total opposites believe me. It doesn't make any sense believe me! He loves the tall girls and he wouldn't of even blinked at someone who was under 5'7 and she is 5'2 and she has tattoos and piercings which he always said was a total turn-off but she her parents are rich and since he could never afford anywhere to go but her parents have an expensive yacht and a vacation home in the Keys he can finally travel on her parents dime. I personally do not think money ever makes anyone happy and it can only make you happy for so long. My friend happens to be married to a guy who has some money and needless to say she is miserable she thought money would buy her happiness but instead she is miserable and wants to divorce him but it is against his parents morals and they say marry until death do you part so unless he dies or his parents die she is married to him for life.
Author YouNeverKnow86 Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 I think what you need to do is heal from this. and when you are ready to date and you've made those changes I described, then I would try to find a cute professional girl that is strong and independent. A girl that has a career and can take care of herself. Therefore, when you do start dating her, she's going to be with you because she WANTS to be with you! Not because she NEEDS to be with you. Big difference there.. Believe me, your Ex is going to be keeping tabs on you and you won't even know it. Once she hears that you moved on, she going to question what she did. And then once she hears that you're wisking your new girl away to the Bahamas for the week she's going to look at Guido and ask, " Why don't you....oh, sorry. Here's your hair gel...why don't you take me anywhere?" Chitown, You are 100 percent correct. I just don't know how she would find out considering we have pretty much no common friends and she blocked me on Facebook. I was having a great life before her and have been back to my normal self the past few months. The first 5 months were tough but I keep getting better week by week. Your advice is awesome and everything you said really put a smile on my face.
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