xxHollyxx Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Hey guys, any advice appreciated. I feel very low. I saw my ex last night, and I acted insane. Very much out of character and just....crazy! When my ex and I broke up I met the most fantastic man. We were together for 6 months then he had to leave last week . He has to leave the country for work so I know it can’t work out. I miss him a lot but am coping well. Or so I thought. Anyway, my ex (before the new guy) and I had a very messy breakup and I am sure I don’t love him anymore. He has a new girlfriend. Last night, I bumped into him. All downhill. I was very drunk. I told him I still love him and acted insane. He told me that I can’t say these things and to leave him alone. This has never happened to me before so I took it very badly. I cried and acted hysterical. I tried it on with him. I feel awful as I should never have done that. He rejected me- He has a nice girlfriend and is happy that way. I understand. I can’t even imagine why I acted that way. He was very freaked out and upset to say the least. Why did I act that way? I can’t understand. I am happy, over him and I am actually thankful we broke up. I met someone who made me so happy and I know there are better men for me than my ex. So why did I act so needy and desperate? It has knocked my confidence right down and I feel so low. Has anyone else experienced this before?
Buttercup84 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 When my ex broke up with me , I broke down crying , sobbing and later on laying on his lap not having a shower for days and looking like hell . I bought him presents , sent him groceries to his place so he is looked after and I begged and pleaded for ages . So you are fine it is perfectly normal to act that way , someone you loved left you and that is a lot to take in , then seeing another ex happy .. just do not contact either of them anymore and focus on getting better x
Author xxHollyxx Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 Thank you buttercup...I hope you are feeling better now! With my recent ex, I have coped really well. No drama and everything is fine. He didn't break my heart. We knew he had to leave the country from day one. But with my ex before him, I can't shake it off. I should. It has been a year since we broke up. He kept repeating that to me. He brings out some crazy side in me. I don't act this way with anyone else. Every mistake I made with him, I have learnt from. I feel so low and crappy. Is it normal to still love someone after a year of breaking up?
RecordProducer Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Why did I act that way?Because: I was very drunk. Alcohol does that to the brain, trust me! The booze is a manipulative liar. Depressant, too. If it will make you feel better, shoot him an email/text explaining it was the booze talking and you're over him, so that the jerk doesn't flatter to himself that you actually still care about him (something like this): I am happy, over him and I am actually thankful we broke up. I met someone who made me so happy and I know there are better men for me than my ex. You were just being emotional because you miss your new guy.
Dark Phoenix Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 I should. It has been a year since we broke up. He kept repeating that to me. He brings out some crazy side in me. I don't act this way with anyone else. Every mistake I made with him, I have learnt from. I feel so low and crappy. Is it normal to still love someone after a year of breaking up ? Yup, especially with what your going through now, sounds perfectly normal. Movie comes to mind "The Notebook" This scene!!!
Sugarkane Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Sounds like you've been going through a crappy time with this new guy leaving. Add to that you see your ex and he's happy with someone new, even after a messy breakup. Sounds pretty understandable to me! Who wouldn't feel bad?
Buttercup84 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Thank you buttercup...I hope you are feeling better now! With my recent ex, I have coped really well. No drama and everything is fine. He didn't break my heart. We knew he had to leave the country from day one. But with my ex before him, I can't shake it off. I should. It has been a year since we broke up. He kept repeating that to me. He brings out some crazy side in me. I don't act this way with anyone else. Every mistake I made with him, I have learnt from. I feel so low and crappy. Is it normal to still love someone after a year of breaking up? Thank you , I am feeling a lot better now . It is normal to feel that way Holly , there is no time limit really . You really need to let yourself heal from the first ex now , go NC and try and stay away from dating a bit . Make this "Holly time" and just focus on yourself . Let yourself feel the pain and know you will get through this . I read a book called " getting past your break-up " which is different to other break up books , maybe you can try it. You will be fine I promise ! if you run into him again just smile and be polite . If it makes you feel better you could write to him and say sorry for the way you acted and you wish him all the best and won't contact him anymore , then block him . We have all in some way acted crazy , and he is only making you feel this way because you love him and gave him a lot .
Author xxHollyxx Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 Thank you all for your kind replies!! Wow, they mad me feel good. The thing is, I am over him. I moved on, and made myself really happy. I met a really great guy since and he meant the world to me. Now I feel horrid and yuck. I disgraced myself. My ex must think I am the worst woman alive and that haunts me. He just makes me act insane. I think I love him to pieces and I have tried to ignore it.
betterdeal Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 He just makes me act insane. Or you act insane in his presence. Take ownership of your behaviour and you will find it easier to change, manage or live with it.
Author xxHollyxx Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 Thank you all for your replies. They were really helpful today. I was totally in the wrong. That is why I feel so bad. I am so surprised with myself and scared that I am capable of acting that way. We have mutual friends and I know he will tell them what happened. I can't grasp that he has a girlfriend. When I was talking to him, I forgot or didn't care he had a gf. I sound so crazy! But my recent ex has just left and I feel really alone sometimes. The entire day has passed and I don't really feel good. In fact, I can't sleep. I can't even confide in some of my friends about what happened as it is traumatic to discuss.
betterdeal Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Don't beat yourself up about it too much. Bit too much drink, feeling horny, wrong place.
Author xxHollyxx Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 I don't think I felt horny, I was too drunk to feel anything! I just wanted to prove something to myself. Like I could win him back if I wanted. I was totally wrong. I really care about the most recent guy I was seeing and feel that because of how I acted that I let myself down. I consider myself to be loyal and trustworthy. I guess I shouldn't drink.
Dark Phoenix Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Thank you all for your replies. They were really helpful today. I was totally in the wrong. That is why I feel so bad. I am so surprised with myself and scared that I am capable of acting that way. We have mutual friends and I know he will tell them what happened. I can't grasp that he has a girlfriend. When I was talking to him, I forgot or didn't care he had a gf. I sound so crazy! But my recent ex has just left and I feel really alone sometimes. The entire day has passed and I don't really feel good. In fact, I can't sleep. I can't even confide in some of my friends about what happened as it is traumatic to discuss. There's nothing wrong with what you did, I've done it and I understand exactly what you are going through. I don't think I felt horny, I was too drunk to feel anything! I just wanted to prove something to myself. Like I could win him back if I wanted. I was totally wrong. I really care about the most recent guy I was seeing and feel that because of how I acted that I let myself down. I consider myself to be loyal and trustworthy. I guess I shouldn't drink. Has nothing to do with drinking. More self reflection is needed for you to understand this situation. I understand it 100% and theres nothing wrong with it. Your choice of words and your feelings provides crystal clarity onto whats going on. As a point of reflection, my brother told me something a few months ago, love makes people do crazy things. He is right
betterdeal Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 I don't think I felt horny, I was too drunk to feel anything! I just wanted to prove something to myself. Like I could win him back if I wanted. I was totally wrong. I really care about the most recent guy I was seeing and feel that because of how I acted that I let myself down. I consider myself to be loyal and trustworthy. I guess I shouldn't drink. Ah, so you were still smarting from the break up and wanted to boost your ego a bit. That makes sense. Maybe not drinking for a bit, at least, will be a good thing to do, whilst you collect yourself.
Author xxHollyxx Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 We broke up exactly a year ago. I was still in love and took it as a HUGE shock. We were pretty serious and he was my first love. I was cut up for months. Then, I met an awesome guy a few months later. A really awesome guy who I fell for. Not rebound, as I had rebound before him and it didn't help. Anyway, I forgot all about my ex and focused everything on the new guy. He made me SUPER happy and I felt so content and happier than I have felt in a long time. He left 2 weeks ago. I knew this from day one so it was not a surprise. His job requires this so I had time to prepare. I guess I miss the new guy so much and meeting my ex out just turned me into an emotional mess. Tears, begging and saying insane things. I think at one point I said I want to kill myself. Which is not true. I really have so much to look forward to. I am just so ashamed. My first ex is by no means a bad person. He just moved on. He didn't deserve all that crap and I feel awful. I know some people here said that they have been in this position, but I feel like some kind of insane ex. Haha! His new gf is a nice girl. I would never normally do this type of thing. However, I suspected that he cheated on me before we broke up so a part of me thinks I am trying to prove to myself he is the cheating type. F**ked up. Time to move on from him anyway!
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