Author moosekaka Posted February 7, 2012 Author Posted February 7, 2012 I always hope that someone hurts these rude people one day. What happened to treat people the way you want to be treated? I'm sure these cowards wouldn't like it if someone/current SO did this to them. Sugarkane, not to be judgmental, but I don't hold this kind of bitterness towards her. I do really care for her and even though I feel she should at least be kinder to me, I don't blame her or hold ill will towards her. I guess I am starting to feel forgiveness and acceptance and just that life goes on, no matter what. Many people have said this, but I would really recommend watching '500 Days of Summer', as the film perfectly captures the emotions and reactions of someone going through a traumatic breakup and coming to terms with it.
Author moosekaka Posted February 7, 2012 Author Posted February 7, 2012 If there is one thing I could say to her, it is that I hope in time she will remember me for the good and not so much the bad. I am sure anyone who has ever loved anybody will understand this desire to have their love validated and honored in this way, even if things didn't work out. This is the closure I wish for, to know I meant something and was appreciated.
geegirl Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 If there is one thing I could say to her, it is that I hope in time she will remember me for the good and not so much the bad. I am sure anyone who has ever loved anybody will understand this desire to have their love validated and honored in this way, even if things didn't work out. This is the closure I wish for, to know I meant something and was appreciated. There are some things that are not within your control, specifically how someone feels about you. In time when you've found indifference, what she thinks or believes will not matter anymore. You may ponder on it but not enough to require validation. She will remember what she wants to remember. You have no say in what she feels or thinks. All you can do is value what you had with her, realize that you can only control your feelings and thoughts and try to find forgiveness and closure from within.
Author moosekaka Posted February 8, 2012 Author Posted February 8, 2012 In time when you've found indifference, what she thinks or believes will not matter anymore. You may ponder on it but not enough to require validation. On this, I somewhat agree and disagree. I was involved with a woman for 5 years and it did not work out. I came to accept it as just two people who weren't right for each other, but I always found comfort in the fact that we meant something to each other. I have never contacted her again but am at peace with it. Of course I know I cannot control her feelings for me and regardless I will cherish the memories we had. What I am saying is that there are two paths I can see in my healing; one of them will have less regret and sadness if I know the other person cherishes our time together too. I do not believe that you will ever be truly indifferent to someone you really loved, just not feel the hurt as acutely anymore.
geegirl Posted February 9, 2012 Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) I do not believe that you will ever be truly indifferent to someone you really loved, just not feel the hurt as acutely anymore. Indifference meaning the absence of anxiety and worry as you detach emotionally. If you love someone you will always care for them. I don't disagree with that at all but there will be a level of indifference within you that will take over your emotional reactions. I had a great relationship with an ex in my twenties. We parted on good terms. Fifteen years later, I still do care for him but my indifference allows me to be unaffected emotionally. There is no pain or hurt. I had a bad relationship with an ex a year ago and we parted on bad terms. I struggled with feelings of being devalued and what the R truly meant to him. I am now unaffected emotionally by his views or thoughts, because I have reached a level of indifference but I still do care about him as a person and as someone who played a part in my life. There is no pain or hurt. I believe there will always be a soft spot in your heart for those that you love, but one that will not cause you any pain. And that comes in time. Indifference to me isn't apathy but just a way of detaching yourself from your emotions as you heal. Edited February 9, 2012 by geegirl
Sugarkane Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 Well for the callous behavior towards you for no reason, I will always hope that someone will do The same thing to them.
Sugarkane Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 I don't understand wishing the Best for someone if they treated you like dirt.
Author moosekaka Posted February 13, 2012 Author Posted February 13, 2012 oh boy....finally I can log back in to LS....well its being a week since I quit....I still have some time to look for a job and settle my affairs... about two months or so, maybe longer. Feelings....confused....lost but definitely not as down and definitely no longer suicidal. Just ....empty. I told my best guy friend I was quitting and he was surprisingly supportive...so that made me feel better. Just need to concentrate on finding a job now....but the ex is always lurking in the back of my mind arghh..... also I find myself listening to this song again and again: 'Hide and Seek' by Imogen Heap
Recommended Posts