Women are allowed to be insecure

[phineas]

The confidence requirement in men is the equivalent to "no fatties" in women. So stop pretending that it's only men who have to put in effort in the dating circus.

 

I've already used the same comparison in another thread, just with regards to height in men, and you got all bent out of shape because weight is something a woman can change, and height is something a man can't do anything about. Since confidence is something that can be worked on, this time there really is no reason to be whiny because believe it or not, women DO have it just as hard.

 

no it isn't. I've gone to the county fair with women whose asses are so phenomenal people stop & salute when we walk by.

 

and yet, if a woman looks at me they want to know if I think she's prettier.

 

If their lean with muscle tone they got naturally small boobs (size zero jeans) & they constantly mention how small they are & wish they were bigger.

 

If they got big boobs their naturally less slender but (size 4) still very attractive & yet their complaining about their ass even though it's still phenomenal.

 

Why do I know their jean sizes? because the size zero constantly mentioned it to show she was better than a bigger girl & the size 4 constantly mentioned it because she wanted to fit into a smaller size.

 

And then the jealousy comes in, constantly wanting to know what I was doing & who I was with & actually accusing me of being in bars hitting on hot women when in my honest opinion they were THE hot women.

 

There was not a single thing I could do or say to convince them they were good enough for me & I wasn't going to just up & dump them for someone hotter & they wound up pushing me away.

 

Now, I just won't deal with those kinds of insecurities anymore.

[iris219]

The only thing I see standing in the way of finding a girlfriend is God. So I must become one who can slay God! Or maybe just try to get lucky. That might be easier.

 

Seriously? What would it take for you to accept SOME personal responsibility for your lack of dating success?

[Mme. Chaucer]

OP, until the day comes - if it ever does - that you have the biggest "AHA" moment imaginable and you realize that YOU need to change profoundly, and then CHANGE PROFOUNDLY, you are not going to have a girlfriend. Even God won't give you one.

 

So, since you have demonstrated with admirable consistency that at this time in your life, at least, you are committed to blaming your unhappiness on many people and things beyond your control, I think it would be a good idea for you to just accept that you and women are just not going to be merging.

 

Focus on your hobbies, studies, friendships and try to have a fulfilling life.

 

Maybe some day, when you're more mature and gain perspective, you will be able to see that it's ALL YOU. But that day may never come, so you might as well get on with other things.

[zengirl]

Are you kidding?

 

First of all: Women get penalized for being insecure, including in the dating game. Women are expected to be more demure and passive, when going with standard gender stereotypes, so they may get punished much less for INACTION, but not for insecurities. Most of the time when a pretty woman has continual issues finding a happy, stable relationships it is due to her insecurity (I have known dozens of women like this and seen oodles more, including the posters you anonymously allude to in the OP, do this to themselves). Insecurity is not just a romance killer; it's a HAPPINESS killer. Seriously.

 

Just because a woman can be insecure and still 'get laid' is meaningless. You have to stop assuming that everyone wants the same exact thing that you want, especially since you clearly are not operating from a successful place. Getting laid does not equal dating success, does not assist with self-esteem and confidence (not necessarily for men, either, but I'll get to that later), or any of that.

 

Look, women and men who are insecure self-sabotage their dating lives (and probably other parts of their lives) left and right. That's the problem with insecurity.

 

Second of all: EVERYONE is "allowed" to be insecure. No one is "allowed" to be excused for it, by anyone who might take issue. That's true of. . . well, just about anything in dating. Anyone can be whatever they are, but that doesn't mean it won't impact their success.

 

Third of all: Plenty of successful men -- both those in relationships and those who are Players are insecure. Some hide it better than others. Some don't hide it at all and still do just fine. Confidence is not a magic bullet; it is just one factor involved in this AND bravado/arrogance is not confidence. People who mistake it as such don't understand self-esteem. Doesn't matter that they're successful, though, because they aren't actually secure and happy.

 

Fourth of all: Success does NOT breed confidence; it may reinforce it and failure may shake confidence, sure. Confidence does breed more success, but if you keep craving success over self-peace/self-esteem/confidence, you will never get either one. People who are confident and secure are confident and secure EVEN WHEN THEY FAIL. And they do fail! They just do more, try more, are more positive, and are okay more of the time, which is naturally going to lead to more overall success.

 

As to your theory of men gaining confidence if they could just date a girl for a month or whatever, it's bunk. Plenty of men with girlfriends are insecure. If a man was brutally dumped after a month, he could easily feel MORE insecure. Many men (like many women) feel their MOST insecure after being broken up with. Being rejected by someone they cared deeply about is more difficult than being rejected by a stranger.

 

Finally, the reason to be insecure isn't simply to be successful. It's to be happy! People who are 'secure' aren't always successful, but they are always okay. That's the whole point. OR:

 

But what is the main effect of insecurity if not inaction? Confident people aren't sure everything will go according to plan; they are sure they can handle it when it doesn't go to plan.

 

That's all that confidence is.

 

At any rate, I think men are expected to keep their insecurities to themselves more, but not to have less of them. That's a different story altogether.

 

Men are not expected to 'share' as much, and that includes their insecurities, or need as much emotional support. That doesn't mean they're expected to be more confident; I think it just means they're expected to be more stoic.

 

And, anyway, it varies. Gender roles rarely apply so strictly anymore, and there are plenty of circumstances where women feel the need to be stoic with men. This week's episode of "New Girl" was a good example, if anyone saw it.

[Meeks7]

OP, until the day comes - if it ever does - that you have the biggest "AHA" moment imaginable and you realize that YOU need to change profoundly, and then CHANGE PROFOUNDLY, you are not going to have a girlfriend. Even God won't give you one.

 

So, since you have demonstrated with admirable consistency that at this time in your life, at least, you are committed to blaming your unhappiness on many people and things beyond your control, I think it would be a good idea for you to just accept that you and women are just not going to be merging.

 

Focus on your hobbies, studies, friendships and try to have a fulfilling life.

 

Maybe some day, when you're more mature and gain perspective, you will be able to see that it's ALL YOU. But that day may never come, so you might as well get on with other things.

 

+1. GREAT advice. Follow this, 81. People don't change until they themselves change from the inside out. It all begins with attitude. As long as you carry out this "woe is me" / "the world is against me" attitude, you will always remain stuck in the rut that you are.

 

 

I've already done the therapy thing. I've seen about four therapists for about six months or more each. The results are obvious.

 

The only thing I see standing in the way of finding a girlfriend is God. So I must become one who can slay God! Or maybe just try to get lucky. That might be easier.

 

It's ironic you mention therapy and God. Yes, you "did the therapy thing," but it seems to me from your comment "the results are obvious" that you didn't do the "therapy thing" with the right attitude. Again, it comes down to attitude. Judging from your posts you are incredibly negative. It does not take a rocket scientist to presume you entered therapy with a negative attitude.

 

Therapy and God aren't some sort of MAGIC PILL.

 

YOU ALSO HAVE TO BE WILLING TO PUT THE WORK IN.

 

Therapy is a 2-way street. It's meant to help you in the healing process, but if you really resist deep down, it won't help. You can deny it, but I think it's fairly obvious you entered therapy not completely sold that it is the cure to healing. Guess what, then it won't help.

 

It's the same with God. He loves you and forgives you (and me) today, but He wants to straighten us out tomorrow. Jesus isn't a quick fix, but it's a REAL fix. The key is, you have to be willing to partner with God. He's not going to magically plop a girlfriend in your life if you don't first take care of YOURSELF, your mental health and the way you view yourself. Of course, even then nowhere in the Bible does it say doing so will get you a spouse or girlfriend, but that's not the point. The point is to be faithful, live right and give thanks in ALL circumstances. Learning how to be CONTENT in all circumstances. Would it be nice to have a GF? Absolutely, but it's a bonus, and a blessing from God. But first, before we get there, we gotta straighten ourselves out.

 

I didn't want to get too spiritual, but since you brought up God first...

 

Until you yourself legitimately desire to do the work to change, you never will. Bottom line.

[verhrzn]

Just because a woman can be insecure and still 'get laid' is meaningless. You have to stop assuming that everyone wants the same exact thing that you want, especially since you clearly are not operating from a successful place. Getting laid does not equal dating success, does not assist with self-esteem and confidence (not necessarily for men, either, but I'll get to that later), or any of that.

 

This all over. Having a guy use you for a lay does not mean anything. OP, you said yourself that you seriously considered "sleeping with a fattie" because you were so desperate. You weren't attracted to her, yet you were considering sex with her. Doesn't that prove that sex does NOT automatically mean someone is even attracted to you?

 

8 times out of 10, in an FWB, the man is just using the woman for sex. It does not mean he's attracted to her, it does not mean he likes her. It means she is a hole. She is just an object to him.

 

The parallel is, of course, the Friend Zone in which the girl is just using the guy for an ego boost and attention. In the FWB, the girl is being used for her body. In the Friend Zone, the guy is being used for his attention.

 

You're gonna come back and argue," Yeah, but don't women enjoy sex?" To which I'll respond," Don't guys enjoy emotions?" In the Friend Zone, the guy is getting all those squishy-heart feelings of a Hot Girl paying attention to him. Aren't those good feelings? Just like a girl may enjoy the physical act of sex? But all of those feelings (emotional and physical) become invalidated when you realize the other person is just using you, don't they?

 

My experience also is there are plenty of insecure guys in relationships. They just hide it well, or they lowered their standards to a point where they found a girl who will put up with their insecurity. Confidence matters when you're trying to attract good "catches." If you don't mind dating a girl who doesn't have a lot of social value (which, sadly, usually comes down to physical attractiveness) then you can be pretty darn insecure.

 

You just can't be insecure AND picky. Which has always been my reading of your situation, OP. You want em young, you want em thin with big boobs and long hair. If you're not willing to lower your standards, you better raise up your confidence.

[Professor X]

8 times out of 10, in an FWB, the man is just using the woman for sex. It does not mean he's attracted to her, it does not mean he likes her. It means she is a hole. She is just an object to him.

This made me lol. You do know its exactly the same for the chicks, right? In a FWD situation, the guy is nothing more than a penis. So both are using one another - which is what friend with BENEFITS are for.

She also doesn't like him (or shouldn't, and if you do, than its bad to begin with to go into FWB, but this also happens to guys - I know), he is just an object to her, yada yada.

 

Just had to point out it's not as one sided as you tried to picture it.

 

Also, I know you were (or still are) in a FWB situation where you like the guy, but you used the situation to get what you could (according to you).

 

So please... If you may.

 

The parallel is, of course, the Friend Zone in which the girl is just using the guy for an ego boost and attention. In the FWB, the girl is being used for her body. In the Friend Zone, the guy is being used for his attention.

No, this is not the parallel, the parallel is FWB from a girls POV.

[zengirl]

No, this is not the parallel, the parallel is FWB from a girls POV.

 

In some FWB situations, you are right that the woman is also using the man for sex. I would say this is more likely to be true if the woman is at least in her late 20s, but it is not often the case IMO with most young women.

 

Many, many (stupid/delusional/naive, IMO, and usually) young women get themselves into a FWB situation where they clearly want more from the guy that is an EXCELLENT parallel to the Friendzone that many, many (stupid/delusional/naive, and usually) young men put themselves into.

 

In both situations:

*The label is clearly defined, and it is clearly not a relationship and never going to be a relationship.

*One person wants more, and the other person doesn't.

*One person deludes themselves, perhaps with the help of the other person and perhaps with simply the ignorance of the other person to the first person's true desires (both happen in both situations), that the dynamic will somehow shift.

*One person ends up hurt at the end, and it eventually fizzles out.

 

Don't kid yourself into thinking all women with FWB want a FWB. Many of them want a real relationship with the guy. Some will admit it to the man and some will not (that's also a good parallel with men who get friendzoned) and most of the time the man is totally upfront and clear about not wanting that (also a good parallel), though there may be little crumbs -- intentional or incidental -- that suggest otherwise.

 

It's actually quite an apt parallel. I see women in situations like that all the time, and I wonder why they do it to themselves. I suppose I see the male friendzone situation the same.

 

And yes, both people are getting benefits from it. The woman might really enjoy the sex, and the man might really enjoy spending time with the woman (in the two different scenarios), but it is clearly lopsided because one person wants more and has somehow deluded themselves into thinking they can make more happen. They can't, and it's their own damn fault for putting themselves in that situation, but that's how it goes.

[Professor X]

Don't kid yourself into thinking all women with FWB want a FWB. Many of them want a real relationship with the guy.

 

I don't kid myself, however, they are USING the situation to their benefits as well. They try to use it as a way to get the man to fall for them.

Point is, both are using each other, for what ends? Who cares, just no need to play the worlds smallest violin to either one is all I say.

[zengirl]

I don't kid myself, however, they are USING the situation to their benefits as well. They try to use it as a way to get the man to fall for them.

Point is, both are using each other, for what ends? Who cares, just no need to play the worlds smallest violin to either one is all I say.

 

Oh, I'm not playing any violins.

 

My point was it was a parallel. I think it's a fallacy to play any violins for so-called 'friendzoned' men too. I think if either of them, if they are victims, are victims of their own creation. I'm not throwing any pity parties -- just laying out the parallel.

 

ETA: And you’ve added another great point of parallel! The woman uses sex in the FWB (one where that’s not all she wants) situation to try to catch the man, and the man uses friendship in the situation where he’s pretending to be her friend but not really/friendzoned to try to catch the woman. Another parallel!

[PlumPrincess]

I'm pretty insecure sometimes and I don't get away with it when it comes to relationships and most women probably either. I work on myself to be more attractive and get the guys I want and so should you.

[verhrzn]

I don't kid myself, however, they are USING the situation to their benefits as well. They try to use it as a way to get the man to fall for them.

Point is, both are using each other, for what ends? Who cares, just no need to play the worlds smallest violin to either one is all I say.

 

Agreed with Zengirl, no violins from me either. Even having been in FWBs myself (no longer in one) I don't have a lot of tolerance for girls (and it's usually girls) who think it'll lead to a relationship, just like I don't have a lot of tolerance for guys (and it's usually guys) who think a friendship (in which the girl alluded to or straight out said she doesn't want one) will lead to a relationship. I had an FWB because I slated it as better than nothing, and tried to content myself with what I got since I couldn't get what I wanted.

 

My original point in bringing up the FWB/Friend Zone parellel was OP's opining about insecurity not effecting girls because even insecure girls can get laid, trying to build on the point that getting laid doesn't mean anything. It's a big ol' moot point.

[Shaun-Dro]

and men aren’t?

 

(Yeah it’s one of those threads)

 

I’ve been wanting to make this thread for some time as I read threads and posts by male and female members alike.

 

What I’ve become aware of, is that it doesn’t matter if a woman has no confidence or any self-esteem; she’d still be able to find relationships and/or sex and these are with men who aren't just using her. While for some reason, a man needs to be extremely confident and secure in himself or he’s only going to have palmela.

 

There are several regular female posters that I won’t name, who are known for having self-esteem issues but they’re always in some sort of relationship or FWB thing. And I know, that without a shadow of a doubt, if these women had the misfortune of being men with their issues, they would die a virgin. In other words, the ONLY reason they’ve been able to date is because they are women.

 

After reading the posts, it’s amazing what some guys will put up with and really try with the girl to make things work. But eventually the guys wake up and realize that they can do better, and dump her. Of course it won’t take her long to find a new guy.

 

To me, that is the most unjust double standard in the dating game.

 

So much is asked of for men it's ridiculous. And before anybody tells me that girls need to maintain their appearance. No, they don't. She'll always be able to find a decent guy who'll want to date her, unless she really lets herself go.

 

I think I told you this before, but here it goes again: can you please find a prostitute/escort to satisfy your needs? You'll feel much better and won't have the undying need to keep making these useless threads of self pity.

[Monm82]

Yeah, I wish women weren't so obsessed with confidence. It's overrated. No one is truly confident anyway.

Edited February 6, 2012 by Monm82

[betterdeal]

At any rate, I think men are expected to keep their insecurities to themselves more, but not to have less of them. That's a different story altogether.

 

Men are not expected to 'share' as much, and that includes their insecurities, or need as much emotional support. That doesn't mean they're expected to be more confident; I think it just means they're expected to be more stoic.

 

And, anyway, it varies. Gender roles rarely apply so strictly anymore, and there are plenty of circumstances where women feel the need to be stoic with men. This week's episode of "New Girl" was a good example, if anyone saw it.

 

I agree that, broadly, men are expected to not have insecurities or if they do to keep them to themselves. There's been plenty of times a woman has confided something in me that makes her insecure, yet when I have done the same back they mock or ridicule. It clearly doesn't sit well with some women. It's almost as if they want an angry abusive man because that's what all the books talk about.

 

Then there are a lot of men who are equally uncomfortable with other men talking about their insecurities. They themselves (and the women mentioned above) are insecure or uncomfortable with those troublesome things called feelings, sexuality, or themselves.

 

So yes, it sucks. It creates more disharmony when people tell other people what they are not supposed to feel.

 

What's the solution? Everyone has to find their own. Banging your head against this brick wall isn't going to make it fall down. There will be sadistic, two-faced, insecure people who will say or expect things you aren't ready, willing or able to give. You will have your own insecurities. But there are also lots of kind, sincere, confident people too, and you will find your own inner strength. If you're shy, say so, if you're a bit nervous about sex, say so, and how someone else reacts to that is their choice. If you fundamentally like women (or men) it will show. We all arrive imperfect and leave imperfect. If you can accept your own imperfections you're more likely to accept others too, and that's when you start really connecting with others.

Edited February 6, 2012 by betterdeal

[Els]

I already addressed that point.

 

I know a few ugly and or overweight girls who have BF's. If those type of women never dated, I'd agree with you, but it's just not true.

 

I bet I know more insecure, shy guys in relationships than you do ugly/overweight women in relationships, SD.

[somedude81]

Plenty of insecure guys date and have relationships. They have other qualities that are attractive to women.

My experience also is there are plenty of insecure guys in relationships.

Plenty of successful men -- both those in relationships and those who are Players are insecure. Some hide it better than others. Some don't hide it at all and still do just fine. Confidence is not a magic bullet; it is just one factor involved in this AND bravado/arrogance is not confidence.

I bet I know more insecure, shy guys in relationships than you do ugly/overweight women in relationships, SD.

Time and time again I've heard that the most important thing women care about is confidence. And that a lack of confidence is the primary reason why a girl would reject a guy.

 

And now several women are telling me that there are insecure guys who are in relationships.

 

What the hell is going on?!

 

First I blamed my height on the reason why I can't get a girlfriend. And everybody said, "No, that's not it." Now I started to believe that my lack of confidence is the reason why I'm single and once again I'm being told, "No, that's not it."

 

WTF!

 

I've been told by a few girls that I'm cute, including several on this forum. Somebody sent me a PM asking for a picture of me and after seeing it she said this

 

"Wow!! You're really cute actually!! I assumed you were a fug. Lol. I really don't see why you have an issue with the ladies, I'd hit it ;)"

 

I feel like my head is going to explode. I don't have a clue what is going on.

 

 

So you're complaining because men have lower standards than women? If a man doesn't want to date an insecure woman, he doesn't have to. It's up to each individual person to decide what they want in a partner. If a man is willing to tolerate insecurity in a woman, that's his decision. There are plenty of men who won't tolerate it, and they only date confident women.

I'm complaining that men are hold to a much higher status than women are.

 

Betterdeal did a good job describing it.

 

The way I see it, every woman wants a prince and almost all men would be fine with the peasant girl.

Are you kidding?

 

First of all: Women get penalized for being insecure, including in the dating game. Women are expected to be more demure and passive, when going with standard gender stereotypes, so they may get punished much less for INACTION, but not for insecurities. Most of the time when a pretty woman has continual issues finding a happy, stable relationships it is due to her insecurity (I have known dozens of women like this and seen oodles more, including the posters you anonymously allude to in the OP, do this to themselves). Insecurity is not just a romance killer; it's a HAPPINESS killer. Seriously.

 

Just because a woman can be insecure and still 'get laid' is meaningless.

That's why I explicitly said relationship and or sex. I meant it as whatever is more important to the person.

 

The only way I see insecurity hurting a woman is that she should eventually get dumped. And yes, the seem to never be happy even though have everything they want. I swear, reading the things that some women have complained about here made me want to choke them. They have no idea how lucky they are to have what they do.

Yes, you "did the therapy thing," but it seems to me from your comment "the results are obvious" that you didn't do the "therapy thing" with the right attitude. Again, it comes down to attitude. Judging from your posts you are incredibly negative. It does not take a rocket scientist to presume you entered therapy with a negative attitude.

No, I really did try. Then after getting excited there would be a change, I was just extremely disappointed. That's why I scoff at the idea of doing therapy again.

 

It's the same with God. He loves you and forgives you (and me) today, but He wants to straighten us out tomorrow.

I was raised in church. I went at least every other Sunday until I was 23. I'd expect to at least something I want. Instead what he did is present me with a girl that was everything I ever wanted, and then keep her out of arms reach.

 

God forgive me? Yeah right, it's me who doesn't forgive him.

 

The parallel is, of course, the Friend Zone in which the girl is just using the guy for an ego boost and attention. In the FWB, the girl is being used for her body. In the Friend Zone, the guy is being used for his attention.

The notion that the friendzone is even somewhat comparable to a FWB is asinine. I'm not even going to go there because all it's going to do is get me even more mad.

 

Confidence matters when you're trying to attract good "catches." If you don't mind dating a girl who doesn't have a lot of social value (which, sadly, usually comes down to physical attractiveness) then you can be pretty darn insecure.

Social value? Who the hell cares about that?

 

Honestly that paragraph sounds a lot like something a woman would say. Like only unconfident woman would date a guy who doesn't have any social value. Sounds very similar to the prince thing I said earlier.

I think I told you this before, but here it goes again: can you please find a prostitute/escort to satisfy your needs? You'll feel much better and won't have the undying need to keep making these useless threads of self pity.

How do you think I lost my virginity at 23?

 

It wasn't with a hot girl I asked on a date, got drunk then made out with her....

[Mme. Chaucer]

Like I said, sd. Forget it. Concentrate on school, hobbies and your friends. Your quest to find out how to blame your girl trouble on the world, society, God, other guys, the girls, etc. is not going to be successful. It's YOU. You are never going to get that from wallowing in self pity here on LS. You are not willing to look at YOU; you persist in trying to blame and to seek external answers and validation for your very skewed views - which are helping you to continue to fail with women. So just forget about it, because it's a waste of time and energy. Live your life.

[Dust]

What's funny about that is how guys are motivated like you said, by wanting to have sex with a girl. And once he does, tada, he's no longer insecure...

 

I submit for your viewing enjoyment Somedude. A man not willing to take any responsibility for himself. A man who has nothing horibly wrong with him and a life that is going very well other then the terror he puts on himself. A man who feels so sorry for himself he expect the universe to just give him a woman.

 

Insecure men get women. Men who hide away on the internet don't! Try to ask more then the usual two to zero girls a year you avg now.

 

If you ever find yourself in PA, give me a call. I'll show you around town.

 

With all the bitching and moaning you'd think he'd be on his way to PA now. Seriously bitcing on here and hoping some girl will just throw herself at him is his only tactic for getting women.

 

God have mercy on your soul.

 

I don't quite understand the motive for this post. I recognize that there is something of a double standard there (only a slight one however).

 

But really and truly, anyone is allowed to feel how they want, but you reap what you sow at the end of the day.

 

I question the motive as it seems that you want to be given leeway to date despite your insecurity. I guess that would depend on a woman's tolerance for that kind of behavior in a man. Believe it or not, it does vary from time to time. But again, I know it's butting a brick wall, but I urge you to seek security from within somehow.

 

He's addicted to feeling sorry for himself.

 

Seriously? What would it take for you to accept SOME personal responsibility for your lack of dating success?

 

He never will.

 

How do you think I lost my virginity at 23?

 

It wasn't with a hot girl I asked on a date, got drunk then made out with her....

 

Now you paid to go to a swingers party... were the girls at the swingers party hookers? Was it like entrance into a whore house? Explain?

[somedude81]

Now you paid to go to a swingers party... were the girls at the swingers party hookers? Was it like entrance into a whore house? Explain?

The swinger party was about two and a half years ago. I haven't had a sexual experience since then. I lost my virginity seven years ago.

Edited February 6, 2012 by somedude81

[dreamingoftigers]

How many girls do you get to know and ask out?

 

If you haven't spent a couple weeks approaching/getting to know/asking out regularly, then the rest of your traits don't matter.

 

It's like the PhD engineer who never shows up to work and whines when the guy with the B. Eng got the job done (even if it was a little sloppy).

 

You wanna build a pipeline? You Gotta show up.

 

You should be able to meet a girl and ask her out about every two weeks or so until you hit success.

[somedude81]

How many girls do you get to know and ask out?

 

If you haven't spent a couple weeks approaching/getting to know/asking out regularly, then the rest of your traits don't matter.

 

It's like the PhD engineer who never shows up to work and whines when the guy with the B. Eng got the job done (even if it was a little sloppy).

 

You wanna build a pipeline? You Gotta show up.

 

You should be able to meet a girl and ask her out about every two weeks or so until you hit success.

I haven't asked out a new girl since last May.

 

Since then until November I was chasing a dream. Once that failed, I needed time to recover and was going to start asking out girls when school started. At the end of January. Then I got sick

 

I'm still getting over the cold, said about her and don't really feel like flirting etc. Though I'm starting to get my energy back.

Edited February 6, 2012 by somedude81

[Dust]

The swinger party was about two and a half years ago. I haven't had a sexual experience since then. I lost my virginity seven years ago.

 

Can you please go into great detail with both those experiences if you would.

 

So the first time was a hooker? Then a party you paid to get into with girls that would sleep with who ever paid to get in? Now you just look at porn... You need to put your sex drive into getting a gf instead of diverting it.

 

I haven't asked out a new girl since last May.

 

Since then until November I was chasing a dream. Once that failed, I needed time to recover and was going to start asking out girls when school started. At the end of January. Then I got sick

 

I'm still getting over the cold, said about her and don't really feel like flirting etc. Though I'm starting to get my energy back.

 

If you need time to recover spend that time recovering instead of whining women have it easier and you want a gf... if you do want a gf you need to ask out more girls then ZERO in the past many months. Not to mention I doubt you've asked out many girls your entire life.

 

Theres no magic to it just utter these magic words and fill in the blanks "Lets have dinner" then you name a place and a time that is both close in location and time like the place down the street tonight. Then when you get women alone for the love of all that is yourself be a man and make the moves don't complain about how women don't have too.

 

Men are allowed to be insecure. You don't suddenly become secure because you have women in your life. Some of the guys who get the most women are probably the most insecure guys ever... unlike you they make moves and utter the magic words. You know the magic words, you know you need to make moves... so get to it casanov! You have to ask out more then zero girls in over half a year...

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

Theres no magic to it just utter these magic words and fill in the blanks "Lets have dinner" then you name a place and a time that is both close in location and time like the place down the street tonight. Then when you get women alone for the love of all that is yourself be a man and make the moves don't complain about how women don't have too.

 

 

And if it doesn't work, try it again. And again. And skip over the part where you come here and complain about women, society, dating, the world, your height, etc.

[Dust]

And if it doesn't work, try it again. And again. And skip over the part where you come here and complain about women, society, dating, the world, your height, etc.

 

Try, and try again is called living life. The part where he worries over nothing and drives himself insane while asking out ZERO girls is called all in somedudes head.