Dafa Posted February 10, 2012 Posted February 10, 2012 The nice guys simply dont want to be taken advantage of without getting nothing in return. Its reasonable. The biggest gripe that guys have about being 'given a shot' is that they invest in the woman emotionally and financially in a way as if she is truly interested (they ask, they plan, they drive, they pay) only for her to disappear soon after leaving them with nothing but disappointment and loss of money. I bet you still expect to be romanced by these nice guys whom you actually have little interest in. So why is it wrong for them to in turn have an expectation from you as well? In this post you seem pragmatic but very reasonable, in subsequent posts not so much. I'm very curious on how you view these interactions. In the latter posts you convey a somewhat fundamentalist mercantile view of the whole interaction, completely devoid of any humane traits or emotional dimension. Or are you attributing a given "value" to these traits and just putting it on an equation? You are saying that since rich guys (old or not, ugly or not) have more money and hence they have access to "better" girls only because they can afford a date with them? And that hot guys also have access to this because beauty can be seen as a capitalizable asset? Seriously, i'm not judging. I'm just truly curious.
RecordProducer Posted February 11, 2012 Posted February 11, 2012 Women go out with me. But I have to pay for it with meals and entertainment.Your problem is that you think women go out with you just to get free food. Where do you find these women - in Ethiopia??? Unless they said "no" to you and only accepted your invitation after you promised them dinner, they probably did want to go out on a date with you. In any case, if you think women just need dinner from you, then stop taking them to dinner - take them to a coffee shop or for happy hour drinks. Thank you. That's a little extreme. Danny DeVito is 4'10" and known to most people as being fat, old, and bald. I wasn't talking about anyone from this forum, just in general. If someone is average-looking or below, chances are he or she will need to warm up the other party by more than a glance at their face.
musemaj11 Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 (edited) Your problem is that you think women go out with you just to get free food. Where do you find these women - in Ethiopia??? They dont necessarily go out with me to get free food. The most important thing is that I spend some money on them. Unless they said "no" to you and only accepted your invitation after you promised them dinner, they probably did want to go out on a date with you. But they wouldnt want to see me again once they found out I won't cover their expenses as if my time and attention - my emotional investment means zero if there is no financial investment to back it up. At the bottom of it this is what I truly dislike about paying on a date. I want to be judged by how good looking, kind, and charming I am, not by whether or not I spend any money on the date. No matter how good I am to a woman, at the end of the day Im still going to be the cheap guy in her head if Im not paying for her. In any case, if you think women just need dinner from you, then stop taking them to dinner - take them to a coffee shop or for happy hour drinks.Are you kidding? Even on this very forum you can find women who say that going for coffee for a date is cheap or complain that their boyfriends never took them on a real date (meaning nice, fancy dinner). It disappoints me that for most women, romance is measured by the price tag. Edited February 13, 2012 by musemaj11
lino Posted February 13, 2012 Posted February 13, 2012 she just turn you down and say no from the beginning to spare you the possible rejection or heart break? I'm not a 'nice guy' anymore but this option is best in all circumstances I'd say. Not fair to lead people on.
grkBoy Posted February 14, 2012 Posted February 14, 2012 I don't know about most guys, but for me when I was single, I just wanted some honesty and respect. The flaky behavior was more an annoyance to me over women who flat-out rejected me to go chase douchebags. When they make it seem like they'll date you, give things a try, are seemingly interested...then they "vanish". Suddenly it's time for the first date and they are nowhere to be found, won't answer their phone, won't call back, etc. Then you see them weeks later with some douchebag they desperately want to commit. I know some guys simply want to whine and complain that life isn't fair and there's no princess waiting to kiss the ugly toad and make into a prince. For me, I just hated the feeling that you're getting somewhere with someone, and yet really all they're doing is looking for 1000 reasons to not talk to you again and/or looking for an escape route that gets rid of me without having to tell me the truth. Nowadays, you'll all see me speak terribly of the women who simply and willingly choose to date jerks. I'm of the mind that I'll see them as "ugly" as a 400-lb woman covered in warts. I'll see them as the future never married single mom who struggles in life while the ex is off banging younger/hotter girls. They seal their fate, and I won't be the backup plan they would run to hoping that this guy will take care of them. I just hated the lack of clarity and honesty...and it's amazing how far that will go and how quickly you can get rid of a nice guy you're not into by coming clean. Even if he becomes a baby, you can then play the vanishing act and let him cry like a baby rather than be a man. No need to give guys a "shot". Just be honest with them.
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