betterdeal Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Dance first, think later. Take risks. Go on dates with people you're intrigued by, not necessarily your "type" but also not completely out of the running. It is, at the end of the day, a moment of socialising with someone that may be enjoyable or a good opportunity to practice different social skills. Some guys will be offended by anything other than 99 virgins in Heaven, and some will be bored off their tits by your company. Don't promise anything you can't or won't deliver and the rest is up to them.
Star Gazer Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Ross & Somedude - no wonder you guys don't have dates. Better safe than being with some guy on a date who sulks because he is not getting any action. Seriously! The date has to result in some action, or it's a waste of their time! That's ridiculous!!
somedude81 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Seriously! The date has to result in some action, or it's a waste of their time! That's ridiculous!! Read my posts in this thread. Then tell me if it's ridiculous.
GoodOnPaper Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 You're nuts dude. I don't think I've ever grieved more than a day or two over a woman who rejected me after a few dates or whom I didn't know that well. I don't think I've ever grieved over a woman . . . period. I just always felt the most embarrassment and the biggest blows to the self-esteem when getting rejected before even making it to a first date. I would consider a "few" dates to be "later" in the rejection timeline -- much easier to take.
RecordProducer Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Seriously! The date has to result in some action, or it's a waste of their time! That's ridiculous!!I am with PP and SG on this. So, talking, laughing, eating, drinking, dancing, walking... is not action - but groping a boob is? You guys deserve to go out with hookers.
ascendotum Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) No brainer -- give me a "shot". Early rejections are much harder to take. An early rejection is about me being too ugly, nerdy, geeky, you-name-it. A later rejection is about us not being compatible. I agree with this. A date doesnt have to finish with any physical action for it to still be a enjoyable night out with attractive company. If ditzchic had already made up her mind she was never going to be thrilled to ever end up in bed with the 'niceguy' or spent the date bored and made it obvious and expected the 'niceguy' to stump up for the dinner + movie for her, then he's better off getting the 'your a nice guy but your not my type' turn down. Still the 'niceguy' really does not know what is going on in ditzchic's mind, and if the particualr 'niceguy' doesn't get to go on dates all that often, then I really think he will be better off going on the 'give it a shot' date. Edited February 5, 2012 by ascendotum
counterman Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 It depends. If a shot means she's really opened her mind to dating me and getting to know me, then sure. On the date, I would expect her to actively participate and not try to look for every little reason to reinforce why she shouldn't date me; she should be relaxed and trying to have a good time, listening as well as asking. However, if she's not really interested and would openly show this on the date, why bother? If she wants me to do all the work and try to really impress her since she was 'uninterested' to begin with, then I would much rather she tell me up front she isn't interested and save us both time. To be honest, I've had the most girls interested in me after they've gotten to know me, whether they're classmates, friends or friend of friends. So, a initial rejection based on first impressions could really rule a girl out of someone special and I know many people have who have rejected awesome girls/guys just because of their first impression. In saying that, I would much rather the girl view it as she is giving herself a shot/chance at something rather than giving the guy a shot, because the latter sounds as though she's elevating herself above the guy in a sort of I'm-too-good-for-you sort of way.
USMCHokie Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 I'll take the shot every single time. For me, it's that initial hurdle that's the toughest to overcome; everything after that is easy.
USMCHokie Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 ...the latter sounds as though she's elevating herself above the guy in a sort of I'm-too-good-for-you sort of way. And this is exactly how I assume the attitudes of more attractive women to be...and why I just avoid them...probably not the best way to go...
Ross MwcFan Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Cuz you see how some of the "nicer" guys on here are answering? They only want the shot if they are getting something out of it. I don't put out on a first date and not every first date ends with a kiss for me either... So for some guys the chance isn't worth it. Just to clarify, we're talking about a woman who isn't interested in the first place. If a woman was interested, then I would be happy to date her even if she doesn't put out on the first date, or even 3rd.
Ross MwcFan Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 The nice guys simply dont want to be taken advantage of without getting nothing in return. Its reasonable. The biggest gripe that guys have about being 'given a shot' is that they invest in the woman emotionally and financially in a way as if she is truly interested (they ask, they plan, they drive, they pay) only for her to disappear soon after leaving them with nothing but disappointment and loss of money. I bet you still expect to be romanced by these nice guys whom you actually have little interest in. So why is it wrong for them to in turn have an expectation from you as well? Great post!
Ross MwcFan Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) I am with PP and SG on this. So, talking, laughing, eating, drinking, dancing, walking... is not action - but groping a boob is? You guys deserve to go out with hookers. 1. It would be hard for me to enjoy the date because of being really nervous. 2. I've already talked, laughed, walked, drank, and eat with people, many many times already in my life. But as of yet, I still haven't ever have managed to even so much as touched a boob. 3. A woman going on a date with me, not because she is interested, but because she's so desperate, hoping for the very unlikely event that she may end up being interested in me, doesn't sound like much fun to me. How do you think that would make me or any other guy feel? I'm not seeing anyone critisizing ditzichick for this, but yet the males on here who can't get anywhere with women, who would at least like to get a kiss are getting shamed. Stop acting as though you're on pedestals and above guys. You aren't. Edited February 5, 2012 by Ross MwcFan
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 1. It would be hard for me to enjoy the date because of being really nervous. 2. I've already talked, laughed, walked, drank, and eat with people, many many times already in my life. But as of yet, I still haven't ever have managed to even so much as touched a boob. 3. A woman going on a date with me, not because she is interested, but because she's so desperate, hoping for the very unlikely event that she may end up being interested in me, doesn't sound like much fun to me. How do you think that would make me or any other guy feel? I'm not seeing anyone critisizing ditzichick for this, but yet the males on here who can't get anywhere with women, who would at least like to get a kiss are getting shamed. Stop acting as though you're on pedestals and above guys. You aren't. I fully endorse this post. I wouldn't necessarily have the same expectations on such a date as you do, but all the points you make here are spot on.
phineas Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 I'll take the shot every single time. For me, it's that initial hurdle that's the toughest to overcome; everything after that is easy. Same here. But, at my age i'm not desperate for a woman, i'm desperate for the chance to get out & socialize. LOL! And this is exactly how I assume the attitudes of more attractive women to be...and why I just avoid them...probably not the best way to go... Yep. however, give me some face time & a woman will realize I'm not going to kiss her ass, walk on egg shells, and say whatever comes to mind & not give a single F what she thinks of me or if she's interested or not. If I leave my house to socialize it's to have fun. If a woman is into me, great! If their not, well, i'll get over it.
musemaj11 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) I am with PP and SG on this. So, talking, laughing, eating, drinking, dancing, walking... is not action - but groping a boob is? You guys deserve to go out with hookers. Yeah as opposed to going out with escorts whom you pay to talk, laugh, eat, drink, dance and walk with you. There is very small difference really between a woman who is a hooker and a woman who is not. Edited February 5, 2012 by musemaj11
Author ditzchic Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 Yeah as opposed to going out with escorts whom you pay to talk, laugh, eat, drink, dance and walk with you. Which is exactly why I offer to go dutch on all first dates. I'm not in the dating scene for free dinners and movies. I can buy my own dinner. I can't hold a good conversation with myself. That's why I'm dating. I don't expect huge romantic gestures and fireworks on a first date, it's more about being in good company and getting to know someone new. I'm neither high-maintenance or an entitled bitch. Some of you guys here are really really bitter....
TheFinalWord Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 This is really a question for all guys but I labeled it for nice guys because they seem to be the most sensitive about this kind of thing... So would you rather a girl who really isn't interested in you giving you a "shot" by giving you a date or two or would you prefer she just turn you down and say no from the beginning to spare you the possible rejection or heart break? I'm asking because I have a very specific type and I'm pretty picky. I haven't been having much luck lately though and I'm thinking of expanding my dating pool to just about everyone (short of the guys that really creep me out) in an effort to maybe find a different flavor I like and expand my horizons a bit. I'm terrified of leading someone on or hurting their feelings though... So I'm not sure if that's something I want do at the expense of others. What's the word, fellas? I think I am a nice guy; I tend to care way too much about what a girl is feeling which is what I think makes for a "nice guy" when you get down to it I'm trying to change that, but it is part of my nature. I don't think you should betray your own conscience (see here I am caring about your feelings ). If you have a certain type I don't think you should compromise. I know it can be hard to be patient, but I think that is what you will have to do at this point in time. The right man will come along for you when the time is right. I gather you are an attractive woman and young so that is even more reason not to settle. As a nice guy, that is what I would want; for you to hold to your convictions as opposed to settling. So the answer is "no" just turn me down so I can find someone who would be honored to date me.
Jynxx Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 3. A woman going on a date with me, not because she is interested, but because she's so desperate, hoping for the very unlikely event that she may end up being interested in me, doesn't sound like much fun to me. If every "date" was cancelled if the woman wasn't 90% sure she'd end up liking her partner enough to have sex with him at some point then most restaurants would be out of business by now. Things are hardly ever black and white for women. It's not like a woman is either interested or not. While we can see within seconds if we're attracted to a female and would like to have sex with her or not, a woman is extremely rarely gonna feel attraction before spending some time with a guy and "getting to know him" at least a little bit. All you can do is take every chance you're offered, no matter how small. There's a reason why "getting lucky" is slang for "having sex".
musemaj11 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) Which is exactly why I offer to go dutch on all first dates. Lets get real, how many times were your 'offers' were taken up really? Not that many times if any at all, right? The fact of the matter is that most guys, especially the nice guys are either brainwashed to believe that as a man they have to pay for a woman or they are too afraid to lose their chance if they let the woman pay because most women only pretend to offer out of fake politeness anyway. I'm not in the dating scene for free dinners and movies. I can buy my own dinner. I can't hold a good conversation with myself. That's why I'm dating. I don't expect huge romantic gestures and fireworks on a first date, it's more about being in good company and getting to know someone new. I'm neither high-maintenance or an entitled bitch. All women say that. Some of you guys here are really really bitter....If you were a guy, you would be bitter, too. Edited February 5, 2012 by musemaj11
Author ditzchic Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 If you were a guy, you would be bitter, too. Something tells me I wouldn't be since I'm not a bitter woman. I've been lead on. I've had my time wasted. I've been used for sex before. I've been dumped because the younger, prettier, sluttier girl came along. I'm not bitter. It's life. Sometimes it sucks big donkey balls but in the end you have a choice to be bitter and jaded and miserable or to take it on the chin, move on, be happy in the moment and one day hopefully find your bliss. I choose the latter.
somedude81 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Some of you guys here are really really bitter.... Are you reading the things that other women are saying to us? They take everything out of context and say we only deserve to be with hookers. How do you expect us to react when we hear things like that?
jobaba Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 1. It would be hard for me to enjoy the date because of being really nervous. 2. I've already talked, laughed, walked, drank, and eat with people, many many times already in my life. But as of yet, I still haven't ever have managed to even so much as touched a boob. 3. A woman going on a date with me, not because she is interested, but because she's so desperate, hoping for the very unlikely event that she may end up being interested in me, doesn't sound like much fun to me. How do you think that would make me or any other guy feel? I'm not seeing anyone critisizing ditzichick for this, but yet the males on here who can't get anywhere with women, who would at least like to get a kiss are getting shamed. Stop acting as though you're on pedestals and above guys. You aren't. You cannot really look at it as desperation. The way the game is set up, women reach for what is above them, the very best. Men are more willing to choose from a broader spectrum. In general. So ... a woman who is equal to you in the looks department will be reaching above you. And if she goes on a date with you, she might not 'like' you, but she'll give you a chance. That's just the way it is for some guys. It's no slight against you, it's just the way the world is. I know plenty of average looking dudes who have never been 'liked' by women in that way right off the bat. On the other hand, just about every woman I know has been the smoldering object of affection for some guy. Realize the rules of the game and play accordingly... Also, touching boobies is easy. I touched a boobie before I even kissed a woman. I think it's a male right of passage to do the strip club thing and grab a boobie for the first time.
Author ditzchic Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 Are you reading the things that other women are saying to us? They take everything out of context and say we only deserve to be with hookers. How do you expect us to react when we hear things like that? I've been called desperate, a gold digger and an escort in this same thread. You're not getting any sympathy from me.
Ross MwcFan Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) I wasn't even aware that you could touch boobies at strip clubs. When I had friends, I'm not even sure if I knew about strip clubs, no one ever suggested to go to one anyway. And now I don't have any, so I wouldn't feel right going to a strip club on my own, even if I did have friends they may not be interrested in doing that. So for me, touching boobies is not easy at all. Well, unless I visited a hooker, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with that, and I bet she would reject me anyway. How I wish I could touch some though. Edited February 5, 2012 by Ross MwcFan
FitChick Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 There is very small difference really between a woman who is a hooker and a woman who is not. If you pay the hooker, she won't reject you.
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