lalalandman Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 (edited) SO my ex calls me last night when I'm on the way to see a friend, and out of the blue she says "So I've been thinking a lot this month, and I don't think we should get back together. I'm just really happy with my life, and I love being single. Plus I really don't like some of the things you've done this past month." I was sort of amused by this, considering I haven't been negative. Once I called her and said "Hey I've got a bottle of wine, for our anniversary, so let's celebrate!" To which she declined, but I wasn't phased at all. I've been very cool with her this past month, and can't think of any arguments, at all, just a bit of cool collected chase on my part. Once i called her to say "You know, I love you, and I'm tired of running from it. I'm sick of fighting this dragon. Let's just get on with it." If anything I've had a good amount of healthy fight in me. A couple of times I told her I was on my way to see her, and got declined, but wasn't upset at all. Just turned back, no big deal. Just figured I'd do what I could to show her I actually cared. So basically I just felt this laughter in me because she swore in November that she "wanted me forever" and invited me over in December for booty calls, then January acted cold and now this. Same push/pull crap. So I told her "you know, I'm not angry or bitter. I won't say that I'm not surprised, but hey, oh well." Then she stated again about her happiness and I said "You know, people who are really happy don't go bragging, rubbing in or seeking validation. But you know what, if you're happy, go be happy. Go live your life. You have a long life ahead of you." So she gave me this very surprised "okkk.....?" Like she thought I would be so sad. And I immediately realized, she's full of it. So then I mentioned something about how I consider myself a unique fish, referencing her "fishing" technique...blah blah blah. Then again I finished it off with "Yes, go be happy". So at this point she sounds very surprised and we get off the phone. Such nonsense. Whatever, I'll be out of this place by the end of the month. Edited February 4, 2012 by lalalandman
Dark Phoenix Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 (edited) LOL 2 Phase 4's chasing each other, this is great. You should video tape this. I am dead serious. You 2 love birds are going to be doing this nonsense for the next 4-6 months. Finally, you read through the bull****. Now use it. When she says stuff like "So I've been thinking a lot this month, and I don't think we should get back together. I'm just really happy with my life, and I love being single. Plus I really don't like some of the things you've done this past month." (BTW shes right you were an ass this past month), say, "OK youre right darling, I agree with you, I enjoy being single too, lets just go out and date other people" You will be sleeping with her that night. Remember, you have the superpowers now, you see shes full of crap, agree with her full of crap ness and push her back Edited February 4, 2012 by Dark Phoenix
Ajax Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 I know this will sound silly, but I would recommend going No Contact. This really seems like a power struggle to me. She wants to get a reaction out of you. And you're right, happy people don't try so hard to convince other people that they're happy. I think for both your sake you should step away from each other.
Author lalalandman Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 I just feel like her pride is in the way. Or she has so much animosity towards me. She's told me herself "I'm glad you can let go of things but there are things that I can't just forget." There's no magic formula and there's nothing I can do. I feel like she became a zombie, never to return to normal life. So what can I do but move forward. But trust me, if I knew of what to say or what to do that would bring her back to life, I would do it.
Author lalalandman Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 Just in response to some replies. Wilson, I'm not really sure what you mean. This isn't really a game to me. I've done everything I could to salvage this relationship. She doesn't know this, but this really was her last opportunity to work things out with me. The last thing she said was "i've thought about it and we will never work." I simply said "ok love, go find something that works." She's never going to hear a peep from me again. She was lucky enough to wake me out of my 3 months NC with her, but this time I'm gone for good. No matter what the circumstance, she'll never hear a peep from me again. Ajax, yes, NC. She's had almost a year to work things out. So it's just done.
EgoJoe Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 I just feel like her pride is in the way. Or she has so much animosity towards me. She's told me herself "I'm glad you can let go of things but there are things that I can't just forget." Her pride and Ego, man. This looks like a "fishing for a response" type sentence. Time to go and stay NC man. This chick needs Therapy.
Chi townD Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 Yeah, she probably had this long drawn out speech prepared about how she's not happy and it's your fault that she isn't happy. Your indifference cut her off at the knee's and had no idea on how to take your responses. I say good job!! Now, time to start NC. Because of how you took the news, it wouldn't surprise me if she tries to get you in the "friend zone".
smokey bear Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 shes stage 3 not 4,the 3months nc made her emotion get so intense that she had to do something about it, tell u she wanted to be with your forever, which is true, i would believe it but she hasnt worked it out yet, she hasnt been burnt enough yet for it to be ingrained in her and learn her lesson. You are absolutely correct in your judgement of her, she isnt happy at all and in fact that whole reach out to tell you how happy she is actually her purposely trying to hurt you to make herself feel better. She'll get there lalala but only when u walk away for good and really mean it. You have your own issues to deal with first.
Author lalalandman Posted February 7, 2012 Author Posted February 7, 2012 I don't want her back anymore. This is a perpetuating cycle that will never end unless one of us does something about it. The attraction will never be broken until I am out of her reach completely. Today something strange happened. I have a lucky number. It's 11 22. Today at exactly 11:22, I received 200 ghost text messages from my old number. Horrified, I went into AT&T. They had no explanation, but said that the old number had somehow become available again, which isn't supposed to happen for deleted numbers. That didn't explain how or why I received those texts from my old number. I don't take coincidences lightly and I told the girl to switch my number back immediately. My number is changed, I am moving, and once I get a new job, it's all over. Without my new email, FB or mutual friends, it will all be over. For good.
betterdeal Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 There comes a point when playing kiss chase becomes utterly dull. Normally around the same time you find something more enjoyable to focus your energy on, such as moving and starting afresh. You sound positively chipper - good for you!
betterdeal Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 There's a great short story by Irvine Walsh called Soft Touch in his Acid House book of short stories. All in Scottish phonetics, so maybe harder for North American readers to decipher, but worth a read, IMO.
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