Ninjainpajamas Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 If you know what to look for and what you want out of it and just don't bend like a light wind against foil. The problem is people want to waste their time, making it complicated with the "wrong" people. It's like working on machine trying to get it to work, but you don't have the parts, tools or the ability to make the repairs yet you sit there like an idiot hoping that maybe It'll work If you keep starring at it. That's what I see with most relationships or issues with the opposite sex...and then people like to say "well relationships take work"...I mean really? Why do people so easily gloss over the facts and rely so much on hope? That it makes it reasonable to be dragged through the dirt or stick it out for your partner that you're not easy crazy about? I think that's my main issue with religion..."Oh the house is on fire! God save us!" no, by all means don't grab the water hose and put the damn fire out while it's small enough...let it consume the whole house then get down on your knees and pray while you stood there and watched it burn. Sometimes I fear for the lack of common sense in the human species..aren't we supposed to be smart? Isn't using our brains what makes us "better" than the rest of the living creatures in the world? Or do we just dumb ourselves down whenever it's convenient? Or Is it just a never ending cycle of "girl gets heart broken by douche bag because she has no self-respect" or "nice guy gets walked over because he's not as daring and confident as douche bag ******* guy" or "Guy never finds right girl because after the chase it's no longer interesting" or "Girl is too jaded and nobody lives up to her stands so she becomes cat or dog lady" Do people not see themselves in this cycle? and If they do why do they do nothing to get themselves out of it? How do people look at other human beings make the same damn mistakes and be like derrrr...I will not learn a lesson, I will just mimmick behavior and pretend that the person in my life is much different and unique because they like the color red instead of the color blue...therefore I'm willing to ignore common sense and facts. What is love? Let me tell you a few things it's not; - Being a doormat - Being disrespected - Being unappreciated - Waiting all night long for that person to call you at 1:30 in the morning after they're done hanging out with his or her friends - Not having your emotions reciprocated - Feeling neglected/worth little to that person - Knowing in your gut that this person isn't being truthful but being stupid enough to ignore it anyway - Hoping this person will come around and be the person you hope they will be - Being more in love with the idea of love than the person - Trying to change someone - Only sticking around because you think they need you or it would them too badly to let go - Only tolerating them because you don't want to feel guilty or shallow - They constantly break your heart or hurt your feelings - They tell they're sorry or that they want to change but never actually do for very long when they don't really want to - They tell you one thing but do another - Always too busy for you, something else always come up or is more important - You feel their words are empty, but you want to believe them so you make excuses for them and yourself - You feel like you're doing 80 percent of the work or they are Here are some things that are love; - They always make you a priority - You know they mean what they say, and you mean what you say as well - Words are not enough to express the way that you feel...but you try anyway and you show it because you want to - You feel like you've known this person a lot longer than you have, they are more importantly though a important part of your life and there for you - You don't wonder or worry If they'll be there for you - If you're sick or unhealthy you know this person will be there for you - You don't care if the other person is perfect and they don't care how imperfect your are either...you are "perfect" in each others eyes the way that you are - You seem to able to tolerate a lot more than you do with other people from this person, you find yourself doing things that you wouldn't for others or maybe even never had....but not in a bad way, you're not being used and abused - This person isn't just someone you love, but someone you trust with your secrets and know has your back...regardless of what happens - You are not in fear of whether this person is faithful or not because you know how they feel for you and you for them - All the normal hindering things that you have with most people are different with this person, in fact everything is different and you can't even put your finger on why exactly...you just know that there's something special about them Now look, I know a lot of people (especially women) are going to say "Omgod I felt this way or that way for this guy and he still left me wah wah wah"...this is an entire package to those of you who say that. This is not about one element, or a few nice qualities...most importantly this is a TWO-WAY-STREET The absolute most important aspect of everything that is said above as that it is reciprocated and mutual and If it is not then you likely know already what is wrong and off. If this is not what you are experiencing or receiving in your relationship then chances are...in the end...not just now because I know some people thing now is forever, you will not be together. And I by no means will ever deny that two people cannot force a relationship to last so they can show off that badge like If the length of time was important instead of the quality of the relationship. QUALITY>LENGTH OF TIME If you set certain guidelines and expectations for your relationships and have a good sense of your self-worth then you're not going to be wasting your time with people who will never make you happy nor you them. You will be confident and wise enough to move on. Why do people waste their time in tattered relationships? because ultimately you're too scared to take the gamble of whether you'll find someone better, and that truly has to be the saddest way to live...not only because of what that says about your expectations but because of what that says about you, you're too scared so you don't believe in something greater. I'll geek out and let Yoda explain it to you best... Luke: "I don't believe it…" Yoda: "That is why you fail." ―Yoda to Luke 1
FitChick Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 Luke: "I don't believe it…" Yoda: "That is why you fail." ―Yoda to Luke Ninja, you're on a roll today! That quote is basically what I've been repeating over and over on here. Believing is seeing, not the reverse. That is why I plead with people to try the Lefkoe Method. It eliminates those beliefs that are stopping them from making smarter choices. But they don't believe it so they don't do it (beliefs determine behavior). I used to be like those pathetic men and women. I wasted five years with a married man at my lowest point because I didn't believe I was worth loving and figured that was the best I could do.
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