soserious1 Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 I think 300 pounds is easy to see. And most people (men and women) don't exactly have the best of muscle tones unless they spend hours each day on the gym. But what I can't believe is that you mentioned something as superficial as stretch marks. What a nasty thing to say. I personally have a few stretch marks since when I was 13 due to a rapid growth spurt. Should I go hide now, away from the dating world? Also, the majority of women has at least a few stretch marks! Either before of after pregnancy. If we continue with your logic, they should be dumped if they are partnered or never date if they are single, because what's the point, right? The men will just get disappointed and revolted at the sight of a few stretch marks here and there... Well, I don't even! Anyway: men or women posing in front of the mirror half-naked/pouting = attention whores most of the time. I think that's common sense and general knowledge around the world (online and offline). Oh my, my! I've never suggested that anyone with "a few stretch marks" should be "dumped" or "hide themselves away from the dating world" What I am saying is that OLD sites provide people with the option to sort through large numbers of people & the ability to screen those individuals for all sorts of different criteria, including physical attractiveness. The woman who posts a tasteful full body shot of herself in a bikini is basically widening her dating options, she's providing truth in advertizing so to speak. I went out with a guy I met on an adult OLD, his profile pics were of him fully clothed in form fitting shirt & jeans. He looked good. Flash forward, we've had dinner, drinks & now it's time to get naked and down to business.The difference in how this guy looked with clothing and and how he looked naked was jaw dropping! Mr slim and Trim had been in a motorcycle accident & had also had open heart surgery,at one point he'd also been 100 pounds heavier, he'd lost a great deal of weight but had been unable to afford the reconstructive surgery to deal with the resultant excess skin, his body was wall to wall scars, folds of excess skin & stretch marks. He mentioned NONE of this in his profile or in the exchanges we had prior to meeting, he said nothing during dinner. I quickly excused myself to the bathroom to "freshen up" got my phone out & texted a friend to call me in 5 minutes with a family emergency, phone rang, I talked briefly, put down my drink and apologized, saying I had to leave. Profiles that contain at least one full body shot of the man shirtless, wearing shorts or a bathing suit get top priority from me. Guys who indicate that a full body shot can be made available prior to meeting are also considered.
silvermercy Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 Oh my, my! I've never suggested that anyone with "a few stretch marks" should be "dumped" or "hide themselves away from the dating world" What I am saying is that OLD sites provide people with the option to sort through large numbers of people & the ability to screen those individuals for all sorts of different criteria, including physical attractiveness. The woman who posts a tasteful full body shot of herself in a bikini is basically widening her dating options, she's providing truth in advertizing so to speak. You didn't state that explicitly so that's why I said if we "continue" with this logic. Basically, you put stretch marks as a parameter of physical attractiveness (see bolded part about screening people based on that, and you included stretch marks). This is a very sensitive topic for MANY MANY women so, IMO, wrong path to make your point (which I would have accepted otherwise).
soserious1 Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 You didn't state that explicitly so that's why I said if we "continue" with this logic. Basically, you put stretch marks as a parameter of physical attractiveness (see bolded part about screening people based on that, and you included stretch marks). This is a very sensitive topic for MANY MANY women so, IMO, wrong path to make your point (which I would have accepted otherwise). "many,many women" are more attracted to taller men than to short guys & when those men complain about it we tell them to suck up & move along don't we? Well to those "many,many" women who are sensitive to the subject of stretch marks I offer the same advice
silvermercy Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 "many,many women" are more attracted to taller men than to short guys & when those men complain about it we tell them to suck up & move along don't we? Well to those "many,many" women who are sensitive to the subject of stretch marks I offer the same advice I have never ever said to any short man to suck it up and move along.
ditzchic Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 Coming from someone who's lost 130 lbs and has some sag still and used to have stretch marks (try body brushing, they went completely away after 6 months!), I can honestly say stretch marks and a bit of sag is not a deal breaker for most guys. I've dated some really good looking guys and I've never had a complaint. And they always came back for seconds. In fact, I dated a professional cyclist who was actually extremely turned on by what I consider my wreck of a body. He thought what I had done was great and called them my "battle scars". Most guys aren't that shallow if they like a girl. They are more worried about what we are thinking about their penis.
soserious1 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 I have never ever said to any short man to suck it up and move along. My point is that we cannot force other people to find anything physically attractive no matter how hard we work to try to shame them into it. Be it your height, to stretch marks. Would you rather have a man simply bypass your profile on an OLD site because you were truthful about the appearance of your body or would you rather get rejected after getting naked with him?
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Do you think it looks desperate or distasteful when a man posts a picture of himself wearing a ball gown and a bouffant wig while standing on a boat dock? I mean, if he were in the Copacabana, it might be more appropriate … I'm conflicted about this.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 Would you rather have a man simply bypass your profile on an OLD site because you were truthful about the appearance of your body or would you rather get rejected after getting naked with him? By the time I got naked with my husband, he was so madly in love with me that he was blind to my stretch marks, age spots, amputations, apron stomach and everything else. Joking aside, when I was OLD, (I mean the other kind of OLD; I still am OLD, in one sense) I was not "displaying the merchandise." Full body shot wearing not baggy clothes was as close as I'd get to that.
soserious1 Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 By the time I got naked with my husband, he was so madly in love with me that he was blind to my stretch marks, age spots, amputations, apron stomach and everything else. Joking aside, when I was OLD, (I mean the other kind of OLD; I still am OLD, in one sense) I was not "displaying the merchandise." Full body shot wearing not baggy clothes was as close as I'd get to that. LOL! I'm sorry but I just see no problem with people who seek to honestly represent their physical appearance on an OLD site by including a full body shot of themselves in a bathing suit.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 I don't care if they do or not either. I was almost 50 and did not feel the need to show my body, even though it was fine for a geriatric one. I will say, though, that guys with no shirt on were a 100% NO for me. Not only was I not interested in displaying "merchandise," I wasn't looking at the guys that way either. I didn't really look at them and think "what an attention whore" or anything. It was more like "next." Just like I would not look twice at a guy who was posing proudly next to his "status" car, with an animal he'd just killed, or embracing women who had their faces obscured. I was looking at the pictures to see not only what he looked like, but to try to get a glimpse of what kind of a person he might be.
FitChick Posted February 5, 2012 Posted February 5, 2012 My point is that we cannot force other people to find anything physically attractive no matter how hard we work to try to shame them into it. Would you rather have a man simply bypass your profile on an OLD site because you were truthful about the appearance of your body or would you rather get rejected after getting naked with him? I agree with this and try to beat that last point into people's heads who won't post photos on their profiles. It's awkward on both sides.
Author irc333 Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) Your comparison fails because I'm not saying that women should be required to post nudes, showing the exact size and shape of the breasts or spread eagle pics displaying the VJ, just a simple pic taken in good lighting wearing a bathing suit. Also, a lot of guys will include pics of themselves, shirtless, wearing shorts or a bathing suit & I personally appreciate those that do so. I know, before I respond what the guy's body looks like. Wow, it's not enough a guy can just wear a T-shirt and shorts or suit and tie, regardless if he's NOT even overweight, you just want to make sure he has washboard abs, and not a minor "pooch" or bicycle tire over his swim trunks for it not to be a deal breaker? Sorry, just not my thing. Even if I did have abs, I wouldn't do it. Also, I've been seeing pics of women actually working out at a GYM. Just saw this one of a woman on a shoulder press machine. Just when you think narcissism wasn't bad enough. Edited February 5, 2012 by irc333
Author irc333 Posted February 5, 2012 Author Posted February 5, 2012 "many,many women" are more attracted to taller men than to short guys & when those men complain about it we tell them to suck up & move along don't we? I'm surprised you don't follow up that with, "And here's some hand lotion, you're gonna need it, because I won't let you touch me with a 10-foot pole"
Author irc333 Posted February 7, 2012 Author Posted February 7, 2012 Here are some examples of what I have seen posted as bikini pics on the sites. Many out there like these, but.....however.... Although, they are done in a beach environment, where people wear bathing suits anyway, but not indoors either....but, they are posed photos (one not at the beach though) The traditional "lay the head far back" pose Then the Daisy Duke pose...very nicely done Now, this is not a beach photo, but a nice entryway environment. It often makes me wonder if these women are even for real though, because no woman that looks like that would be on a dating site? LOL Yes.....no? I mean she has to be approached quite often in public? Anyhow, these photos are indeed tastefully done, but ladies....since tastfully done....would you put up photos such as these?
maybealone Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 First off, I'm a woman and as we both know all too well, skillful dressing hides a multitude of sins! So does skillful posing. I could put on a bikini, suck in my gut, lean backwards, and put my hands up in my hair, and take a ton of pictures. Out of those, at least a couple would look like I had a great body. I think it all depends on what kind of person you (the generic you, not anyone here specifically) wants to attract. If what someone's body looks like is very important to you, then by all means, put up a picture of your body and look for potential dates that have done the same.
kaylan Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 OKCupid did a study on this topic. Sexy pics increase the responses and contacts you get, despite people saying they dislike those who put up such pics. If you are attractive, flaunt it, and reap the benefits.
Author irc333 Posted February 7, 2012 Author Posted February 7, 2012 OKCupid did a study on this topic. Sexy pics increase the responses and contacts you get, despite people saying they dislike those who put up such pics. If you are attractive, flaunt it, and reap the benefits. I've seen a lot of profiles where women state, "If you have a picture of yourself in the bathroom, with a mirror shot of your abs, please move onto the next profile!" Some actually said it was gross even.
kaylan Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 I've seen a lot of profiles where women state, "If you have a picture of yourself in the bathroom, with a mirror shot of your abs, please move onto the next profile!" Some actually said it was gross even. http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/ If youre hot, it wont matter. I noticed that the people online who object to "sexy" shots are not in fit shape themselves. Basically they have nothing to show off. And hell, even if they do say they dont like it, the OKC report says people respond favorably to the pics anyways. In my experience online, the only time people dislike "sexy" shots is when the person in the picture is not attractive to them. Im like this myself. If a girl is trying to show off and shes clearly not too attractive, Ill see her as lame. Sometimes Im compelled to message them with a burn (joke at their expense). If the person is attractive and its clear that they work out, I usually will give them props for staying fit at the end of my message. A couple of times I put pics of myself up with no shirt on. Guess what? More replies....hell one time I was in ONLY a towel and just got out the shower and said "hey why not, lets take a pic". Chicks would message me saying weak stuff like "hey sexy". Some would just message a compliment since they were either too old for me or lived far away. I dont put up pics like that now, and havent in a long time. I prolly will put up a shirtless pic in a couple months though lol. Thats when my workout progress should be really rolling along. I do have a shirtless pic up on my profile at the moment though, but its a closeup of my tattoo. So the focus isnt my body.
ScienceGal Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 (edited) No matter how you feel, this woman did not get it right..Haha! http://www.winkandgun.com/2010/10/campaign-to-end-bathroom-self-portrait.html Edited February 7, 2012 by ScienceGal
EnigmaticClarity Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 (edited) http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/ I don't disagree with the article, yet I still disagree with the usefulness of increased contact from body-revealing shots. My guess is you'll increase your number of shallow respondents and decrease your number of intelligent respondents regardless of whether you're a guy showing muscle shots or a girl showing boob/stomach/butt shots. Increased quantity but decreased quality. I suppose it's all in what you're going for. Another example of that same exclusion factor would be including geeky/nerdy/intellectual content in a profile. In general, that turns the average person off--but if that's the type of person you're looking for, including can help you hone in on the type of person you're seeking. Having said all that, I don't mind body shots and agree with soserious1 that full disclosure is best. If the sites had a dropdown box for penis length, I'd fill it out. My ex asked me this during some instant messaging we did prior to our first date and I didn't mind revealing it--I acknowledge that it's rather unfair that women's breast sizes are so easy to see in photos yet it's difficult or impossible for women to get a sense for penis size in photos. I see it as more realistic than shallow, and I'm always skeptical of the reasons people come up with for disclosing less and hiding parts of themselves--they're usually rationalization for people to hide their weaknesses. Edited February 7, 2012 by EnigmaticClarity
kaylan Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 (edited) I don't disagree with the article, yet I still disagree with the usefulness of increased contact from body-revealing shots. My guess is you'll increase your number of shallow respondents and decrease your number of intelligent respondents regardless of whether you're a guy showing muscle shots or a girl showing boob/stomach/butt shots. Increased quantity but decreased quality. I suppose it's all in what you're going for.You may not see it as useful, others may. Physical attraction is important, is it not? If a chick shows off a nice body, and has a nice profile, her fitness adds to the package. Plus Id be drawn to her not just because her body gets me going, but because I admire the hard work she puts into staying in shape.(thats if she does hit the gym) Your guess on the types of responses I might get is only that, a guess. I can tell from the content of the response, why a gal is messaging me. If she connects with me on the stuff I mention in my profile but adds at the end of her message that I have a nice body, is she shallow or intelligent? Another example of that same exclusion factor would be including geeky/nerdy/intellectual content in a profile. In general, that turns the average person off--but if that's the type of person you're looking for, including can help you hone in on the type of person you're seeking. Im going for a bunch of things...but its quite possible to get hot and intelligence in a mate at the same time. Im a tatooed, pierced, bass playing rocker who likes alt rock and rave music. I also love to party with my friends and enjoy mischeif from time to time. Some girls might assume that a partying rock boy isnt worth much in a mate. At the same time Im an educated, articulate, and intellectual lad with interests in social equality and philanthropy. I also put together my own computers which is geeky. But Im an avid sports player and fan, which is something not geeky. Also, I have ambitious dreams and varied interests, Im a great friend, and am super loyal. Point is people are complex. If someone reads my profile, they know Im more than tattoos and a half naked body. But like I said, those pics arent up anymore. Im a mix of many things from different little subcultures of society, so noone could stereotype me and be too correct about who I am as a person. I go into dating without expectations now though, and click with many different people due to my varied interests. Having said all that, I don't mind body shots and agree with soserious1 that full disclosure is best. If the sites had a dropdown box for penis length, I'd fill it out. My ex asked me this during some instant messaging we did prior to our first date and I didn't mind revealing it--I acknowledge that it's rather unfair that women's breast sizes are so easy to see in photos yet it's difficult or impossible for women to get a sense for penis size in photos. I see it as more realistic than shallow, and I'm always skeptical of the reasons people come up with for disclosing less and hiding parts of themselves--they're usually rationalization for people to hide their weaknesses.Haha, Im an open book as well. Id have no problem answering any questions. I might be surprised by some questions, but Id answer swiftly and truthfully. Online dating is what it is. Its made dating more analytical in the beginning stages. Gotta roll with it. You cant really compare penis size to breast size though. Breasts dont affect the enjoyment of sex the way penises do. If a chick wants my size, I want to know how much her fun zone can hold. Seems even, especially since I havent had too much fun with girls who were way too tiny down there for me(not saying Im huge, just saying they were small gals). Id equate breast size though, more with a guys chest and shoulders. Women can make that out in a photo fine. Im all for full disclosure myself too then lol Edited February 7, 2012 by kaylan
EnigmaticClarity Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 If a chick wants my size, I want to know how much her fun zone can hold. Seems even, especially since I havent had too much fun with girls who were way too tiny down there for me(not saying Im huge, just saying they were small gals). How the heck does a woman measure or describe how deep their "fun zone" is?
Author irc333 Posted February 7, 2012 Author Posted February 7, 2012 I'm also noticing a pattern of women taking pictures of themselves in an actual gym. Recently saw a woman taking an Iphone pic of herself in the gym's mirror in spandex, athletic sports top and mid-drift. Getting to a point of narcissism there, right?
kaylan Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 How the heck does a woman measure or describe how deep their "fun zone" is? Dildo? Or they can tell by judging the size they usually can take based on the men theyve had sex with.
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