rocketboy9 Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 I have this woman friend that at one point I did ask her out but it never went anywhere. We went out once and she gave me this excuse afterwards about how busy she was blah, blah. Than I got seriously hurt (blew out a disk in my back) and did not see her for like a month. She kept in touch but when I did see her again she laid this whole sob story on me about the freaks on Match and all I said to her was be careful and nipped the conversation in the bud. I dont need to hear this crap, she hasnt brought it up since. That being said I am friendly with her but she is still enjoying the perks of a male that was interested in her. We usually work out together on Sunday. That includes holding a spot for her in the class as she is continually late, helping her with the equipment etc... I know nobody is making me do it but I kind of feel obligated as I have been doing it for like 5 months. She clearly enjoys the attention and I enjoy her company but I also recognize its not going anywhere. I want to convert her into a wing woman. I can help her meet men and she can help me meet women. I am at the point where I just want to treat her as one of the boys but I am not sure she is going to like this. I am a little concerned as she is also territorial with other women. Anybody have any tips?
zengirl Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 You cannot 'convert' someone into something, but if you want a wing woman, ask her. You cannot get someone to secretly be your wing woman; that sounds like a recipe for disaster anyway. She may or may not say yes, but it sounds to me, honestly, like you don't know her well enough for her to say yes. I have no issue wing-womaning guys, but I've only done it for men I know well.
irc333 Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 You cannot 'convert' someone into something, but if you want a wing woman, ask her. You cannot get someone to secretly be your wing woman; that sounds like a recipe for disaster anyway. She may or may not say yes, but it sounds to me, honestly, like you don't know her well enough for her to say yes. I have no issue wing-womaning guys, but I've only done it for men I know well. There's this female friend I know rather well. She had put some pictures up with her and some other single friends out dancing. I suggested to her 'Hey, next time, when you go out dancing, we can all go make plans to go together" I was asking to be a wingman by saying just that, but not using the actual word. Good thing I did not, because she said this..... She goes, "alright, but promise you won't hit on any of my friends, okay?" I was like WTF? That's like putting cookies in front of someone, but telling them to "not eat it!" lol
carhill Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 She's not a real friend, and that goes for the OP's 'friend', too, unless you sincerely enjoy the path of 'one-way' friendship.
Cee Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 She won't help you. If anything, she'll drive the good women away from you. Expect less than nothing from her & if she does a good thing, then be pleasantly surprised.
Dust Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 Wings are pretty much a fantasy. A guy/girl wing will most likely drive people away. If she has a friend you like don't you dare say "I like your friend set us up on a date." What you would do is if you knew her and that friend were hanging out you would use it as an oportunity to meet that friend and break the ice and ask her out yourself. So if she throws parties or hangs out with girls thats about as close to a wing she'll ever be. Don't expect to be infultrating groups of girls with her. Plus she doesn't need help meeting guys.
FitChick Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 I don't understand the mentality of "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you." I've dated men who rejected me. If you date, it happens. Never one to cry over spilled milk, I always ask them if they know anyone else they could fix me up with, since they claim to still want to be friends. Never happens.
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 OP, the best advice is to gain skills to the point where you don't need a wingman/wingwoman. Til then, the best thing you can do is treat her like a friend in general. Do not ask her. Do not. It is a bad idea to outright ask her. Fact. Instead, hang out with her as a friend: go to restaurants, museums, movies, work out at the gym, events, etc. Don't just go to bars and clubs. Go everywhere.
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