Kuite09 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Hi Everyone, I am a 28 yr old single woman and back in May 2011 I met a man online. We talked very frequent by text and phone until we finally met in person in October. He is from NJ and I went on business trip to PA and he came to visit me and finally met. We hit it off, we went out to dinner and drinks and had a great time. After we met we continued to stay in contact. He has a very busy work scheduled so we made arrangements for me to fly to NJ to spend a weekend with him. I paid for my flight and he took care of hotel accommodations (I stayed in a hotel because he lives parents and brother) dinner and entertainment for the weekend. We had a great time together, I met some of his friends and he didn't have no problem at all showing public affection. Since I came back we have been speaking more and more and we talk about seeing each other again and him coming down to FL to see me. I know it might be kind of odd he lives with his parents but hes was traveling at one point a lot for work and he resides currently with them. The hotel he booked for me was literally down the street from his home and he showed me his home from the outside and all but I never walked in, of course I was not trying to meet his family just yet. We both have very fun personalities and we haven't spoken about any serious commitment since we've only seen each other twice but we do say we want to see each other again and we really wish we were closer to each other. Of course I don't want to jump the gun and ask what is going on between us, I have never been in a [COLOR=#000000]LDR[/COLOR] before so this is all new to me. We both like to joke around alot and be silly when we talk. For example he tells me I have people watching you in FL, you better be behaving youself and just little funny things like that. We have not spoken about no serious relationship convos but we have covered the basic questions. How long I been single, what happened in my last relatationship, do I want to get married, do I want kids etc. I don't bring up no serious questions because I just got out of a on and off 7 yr relationship months before I met him online. It will be a year soon that I have been officially single. I just wonder is this man truly interested or is it just some type of entertainment for him. He's a good looking man and successful, I am sure he wouldn't have a problem meeting woman in his own state. At this point I am not sure what to think, I know not to ask serious questions too soon since we've only seen each other twice but we've already been talking for at least 8 months. When should I ask the serious questions? next time we see each other? or will it eventually come up. He recently stated that if he can relocate to FL with his career he will do it for sure
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Doesn't sound like he's that interested. Within 5 months of being with a woman, I can tell if I truly want a LTR or something short-term and casual. In a short-term/casual relationship, I don't bother to introduce her to friends or family. Nor do I try to have deep talks. Your guy hasn't introduced you to friends or family or had deep conversations. That's why I say he's not truly interested.
Author Kuite09 Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 Doesn't sound like he's that interested. Within 5 months of being with a woman, I can tell if I truly want a LTR or something short-term and casual. In a short-term/casual relationship, I don't bother to introduce her to friends or family. Nor do I try to have deep talks. Your guy hasn't introduced you to friends or family or had deep conversations. That's why I say he's not truly interested. Thanks for you response. Please keep in mind he lives in NJ and I am in FL. We met online back in May 2011 and finally met in person in October 2011. Seen him 2 times only, I really don't expect him to introduce me to his family after seeing me only 2 times.
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 You don't expect him to introduce you to his family, but you do expect him to move down to FL with you? I'm confused.
FitChick Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 Kuite09 you might have more responses on the Long Distance forum.
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 You've only met each other a few times and It's easy to be on cloud nine, as if everything is going to or may work out in the future. The fact of the matter is he is a busy man, and he lives at home with his brother and mutha. That means he's probably pretty committed to living there and If he's that successful couldn't he have worked out some sort of other accommodations for his mother? I mean that doesn't sound very stable or commitment like to me from this guy, I think he's just out to have some fun. I also don't know If he's as busy as he says he is...the thing about LTR is it's so easy to fool around as a guy because you're never around. And If he's good looking and successful and has the ability to spin you with some charm (which to me he kinda already sounds like a douche, I'm just picturing it) then he's probably used to having to lay out the story in a certain way already. I wouldn't get your hopes up too much, I think If you're really serious then he's going to engage with you in some serious conversation and really try and work out the logistics. I just wouldn't be so foolish as to move to him.
Author Kuite09 Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 You've only met each other a few times and It's easy to be on cloud nine, as if everything is going to or may work out in the future. The fact of the matter is he is a busy man, and he lives at home with his brother and mutha. That means he's probably pretty committed to living there and If he's that successful couldn't he have worked out some sort of other accommodations for his mother? I mean that doesn't sound very stable or commitment like to me from this guy, I think he's just out to have some fun. I also don't know If he's as busy as he says he is...the thing about LTR is it's so easy to fool around as a guy because you're never around. And If he's good looking and successful and has the ability to spin you with some charm (which to me he kinda already sounds like a douche, I'm just picturing it) then he's probably used to having to lay out the story in a certain way already. I wouldn't get your hopes up too much, I think If you're really serious then he's going to engage with you in some serious conversation and really try and work out the logistics. I just wouldn't be so foolish as to move to him. Hey Ninjainpajamas, Thanks so much for your response. Just this whole Long distance is something totally new to me. So thats why I am all skeptical about everything little thing. Yea we've only seen each other a couple of times and of course theres still a whole lot to get to know about each other, we do speak everyday and we are currently making plans to see each other again and even take a vacation after my busy season at work. He currently is comfortable living at home but he has told me several times he wants to relocate and get out of his state. The most serious convo we've ever had was when we went on our first date that he asked again what happened with my ex? do I believe in marriage? do I want children and if I ever been engaged before. These are the most serioius questions hes asked. As I stated earlier I been single for about a year and I was with my ex for 7 yrs and this whole dating this is completely new to me especially the fact that he lives in a different state. When we are together I do feel comfortable, he makes me feel secure and he doesn't treat me like just a chick that he met.
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