lilyblue Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Woke up to a mutual friend tagging the ex and his ex-wife/gf at a bar close to my house. I know virtually nothing about him currently in general so it seems like every little thing sets my mind racing. I can't control him, but I just wish he felt bad about what he did. I just still really want to have my moment with him and make him think about the crap he put me through. And I also miss him a lot still. It's amazing how one little thing can trigger so many things. It also brings back feelings of wondering why he gets to have a great relationship and so much fun after what he unfairly did to me, and I'm alone. I've felt like emailing him a couple of times lately and just reminding him. He is a sensitive guy and knowing that I was heard would make me feel better at least for a bit. The angry party of me wants to contact him just so she hopefully finds out since she seems so determined to make sure we have no contact. Thanks for letting me get this out there. The treatment I received just still hurts a lot.
Leigh 87 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Wow, wakining up to that sucks man...... The guys u loved./still love, with other girls.. especially his EX.... It is NORMAL for ANY one, to react that way, first thing in the morning, upon seeing that! In fact, it is prob the very worst thing u could see when u first wake up. I am sorry for your loss, but as you know, you should just focus on improving yourself... work out more, eat healthier, focus on you! I just cannot stress enough, that in spite of your pain now, eventually u will wake up from it and think " wow, I actually feel great, they way I am looking after my body and myself" I am so sorry, I love my boyfriend so much and cannot imagine losingworking outhim. I would just throw myself into working out and making myself sexy... I think that is an empowering thing to do:)
M2155 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 You can't compare your life to his. You may very well get to be in a great relationship and have so much fun too after you heal from this experience. You have sounded negative and down on yourself and maybe the lesson is rebuilding your self-esteem here, I don't know. But I do believe there is always a lesson in life's experiences. You are convinced that sending him a note is going to make you feel better. But something has kept you from doing it thus far so.... I know you want validation and some sort of payback but in reality, there is no way for this to happen. You will never know if you were really "heard". You can send any email, he could even respond that he is sorry (as he told you when you ran into him) because I am 1000% sure that he is, but I promise it won't be enough to change your feelings. Then you will be sad instead of mad (at least I was....although mine did not say sorry, he made it my fault and i believe thats a function of time and his not knowing how to handle his own feelings, he needed to justify leaving) and anger is better lol. At any rate, what do you really expect to gain from being "heard"? Regardless of her, if HE wanted to contact you, he would. She cannot get in the way of that. For all you know, he may not wish to open old wounds that he assumes are closed by now (and you have no reason to ever lead him to think otherwise). He may be receptive of your message if you contact him, but it won't be what you are looking for. "Hey Lilly I enjoyed the time we shared and thanks for understanding. You deserve someone great" is not going to make you feel better. I understand how you feel though, really I do.
stitch702 Posted February 4, 2012 Posted February 4, 2012 That's the thing about life. Sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down, but you're never ALWAYS up and you're never ALWAYS down. This will come to pass and some years from now when you are with a wonderful man or have found something that makes you truly happy and have completely moved on, you'll wonder what you ever saw in him. In fact, in the future you may be thankful for having him in your life because he may have proved that this is the type of man you definitely did not want for the long run and that he did you a favor by breaking up with you...
flitzanu Posted February 6, 2012 Posted February 6, 2012 you know, if you blocked your ex on fb you wouldn't see them tagged like that.
Author lilyblue Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 You can't compare your life to his. You may very well get to be in a great relationship and have so much fun too after you heal from this experience. You have sounded negative and down on yourself and maybe the lesson is rebuilding your self-esteem here, I don't know. But I do believe there is always a lesson in life's experiences. You are convinced that sending him a note is going to make you feel better. But something has kept you from doing it thus far so.... I know you want validation and some sort of payback but in reality, there is no way for this to happen. You will never know if you were really "heard". You can send any email, he could even respond that he is sorry (as he told you when you ran into him) because I am 1000% sure that he is, but I promise it won't be enough to change your feelings. Then you will be sad instead of mad (at least I was....although mine did not say sorry, he made it my fault and i believe thats a function of time and his not knowing how to handle his own feelings, he needed to justify leaving) and anger is better lol. At any rate, what do you really expect to gain from being "heard"? Regardless of her, if HE wanted to contact you, he would. She cannot get in the way of that. For all you know, he may not wish to open old wounds that he assumes are closed by now (and you have no reason to ever lead him to think otherwise). He may be receptive of your message if you contact him, but it won't be what you are looking for. "Hey Lilly I enjoyed the time we shared and thanks for understanding. You deserve someone great" is not going to make you feel better. I understand how you feel though, really I do. Thanks for your reply, I always appreciate it when you take the time to reply to me, and thanks for understanding. I'm lost on what the lesson to learn is from all of this and it hasn't become any more clear with time. I wish there was one. I don't know what I expect to gain from contacting him. I guess just a change maybe in how I feel. I don't know if that change would be good or bad, but I'm just tired of feeling this exact way. I feel like I'm starting to regress, I'm going to have more free time soon and the weather is starting to change which all leaves me thinking about him. I know she can't physically control whether he contacts me or not, but I really think that their relationship would be over if he did, that's why I know I won't hear from him. She does have that power over him (I'm not blaming her in any way, obviously the only reason she does have power is because HE wants to be with her).
Author lilyblue Posted February 6, 2012 Author Posted February 6, 2012 you know, if you blocked your ex on fb you wouldn't see them tagged like that. Oh I know, if I had blocked both of them I wouldn't have seen it. But it wouldn't really change things. I haven't not healed because I saw this one thing in 4 months. That's the thing about life. Sometimes you're up and sometimes you're down, but you're never ALWAYS up and you're never ALWAYS down. This will come to pass and some years from now when you are with a wonderful man or have found something that makes you truly happy and have completely moved on, you'll wonder what you ever saw in him. In fact, in the future you may be thankful for having him in your life because he may have proved that this is the type of man you definitely did not want for the long run and that he did you a favor by breaking up with you... Thanks for the encouragement. I don't believe there's a guarantee to find someone and most of the time I feel like I'm going to down the road to not. There are just so few people that I click with. I don't think I'll ever wonder what I saw in him, there were a ton of good things about him.
flitzanu Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 Oh I know, if I had blocked both of them I wouldn't have seen it. But it wouldn't really change things. I haven't not healed because I saw this one thing in 4 months. no. maybe not "one thing". but the ability to track their every move and see their lives on fb quite possibly will keep you from moving forward.
Author lilyblue Posted February 9, 2012 Author Posted February 9, 2012 no. maybe not "one thing". but the ability to track their every move and see their lives on fb quite possibly will keep you from moving forward. I think you would be right if I could see his life on fb, but I'm not tracking, I'm not friends with him, just saw this random one thing.
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