gonzo415 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 So I find myself in the NC stage of my break up. I was with my ex girlfriend for 1.5 years and we are both 21. It has been 1.5 months since we have broken up and damn, it hurts like hell. The first week of the break up I practically almost begged her to not leave me, tried to convince her to give me a 2nd chance, and tried to do everything in order to have her back in my life. Nothing worked and deep down I knew I was making the mistake of trying to repair the brk up. So I left the country for a vacay for about a month. I ended up drunk dialing her and regretted it. I basically broke the NC rule many times. Before I left for my vacay she said she wanted to have space time and that she wanted to think things through. But I couldn't help but email her during my vacay two weeks after and asked her what she felt about me. She flat out told me that she wants to be single, independent, and not have to explain anything to anyone and also since she just transferred to a university that she wanted to focus on her studies. Also that she does not feel adequate to be in a relationship at this time in her life and that I deserve to be with someone who will love me and give me the attention that I deserve. I completely respected her decision but it truly crushed me.. she mentioned that we may not be the right people for each other since she has tried to love me but hasn't been able to since you can't force love.. so I came back to the states and when I arrived i called her and texted her and she basically was being distant and making excuses as to how she couldn't contact me. I made the bad decision to visit her at her home and talk to her. She was mad at me for showing up without notice and told me that there are no chances for me anymore... It seems as though I pushed her away I know i messed up and did the opposite to what i should have done to have her come back to me...and theres nothing i can do about that. I mentioned to her that I still want to her to be my friend and have her presence in my life because she means so much to me. She agreed and was interested but also mentioned that she needed space and time, and I agreed to her request since the break up was too recent to jump back into a friendship. Since then I only contacted her for her birthday and mentioned that I will leave it up to her to contact me to spend time with me and that I am moving on.. She said she will contact me and all i can do is wait for her. The odd part is that last time we talked about being friends again she started to cry as if she still loves me...and since i was her first true love and the first man she shared intimate moments with makes me believe that she stills has feelings for me. Another odd thing is that her sister told me to give her "time"....and her mom texted me saying that she wanted to share something with me and just checked up on me. I don't understand how her own family is contacting me and giving me a sense of hope that she will come back. I just wanted to know if you folks believe there is any chances of reconciliation? is it ever too late to win her heart again? I have a plan to become her friend and slowly bring back the spark she mentioned was gone... I really love her and she is someone that I am willing to fight for. I just need to know if its worth it. She has hurt me unintentionally but I love her so much that i don't hold any ill-will. Any wisdom and advice will be appreciated.
Dark Phoenix Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 I can give you 2 sets of advice for this one thread and I know the outcome of both of them, they both end the same. I strongly discourage being friends with her right now. You do not have the ability to be friends with her at this point in your life. No Contact is honestly the best solution for you for the time being. I understand you still love her and you always will but you need to focus on your mental and physical health or you are going to burn out later on. I also understand everytime you go NC, you start to feel emotional distance from her like you are going to lose her. This is a perfectly natural feeling that "EVERYONE" gets. Everyone on this forum, myself included gets it and we all act upon it. Dont sweat it! If you mess up, keep trying and trying again, one day you will get it right.
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