RonChalant Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Every time I "date" a woman I always get the same thing right before they disappear... "your a good guy, do you know that" Then BOOM thier gone, to an "a-hole". I'm so tired of being a "good guy" but I can't pull off the a-hole thing for long periods of time. My last fwb I had told me I give up too easily...no, you pulled away when I tried to kiss you so I backed off, I'm not going to rape your face. I don't have time for these damn games...smh
xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Your option is to treat them like an " option". These girls like a challenge and if they know you have other girls line up, they will catfight for your attention. The funny thing is, if it takes a challenge to get them to commit, they're more game players than they are commitment-minded people. So even if you do end up getting them, they don't really want you.
Zaphod B Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Been in the same boat as you Ron and even posted threads on here for hints on how I can be a bad boy without compromising my principles and feeling like a jerk afterwards. There's often plenty of tips and advice, but often it's not all that easy to put into practise. I wish I had answers. I'd still be lamenting the same thing now if it wasn't for the fact I found a wonderful woman recently. She's beautiful, sexy, fun, sexually adventurous and crazy about me. Took me 2 years to find her and a hell of a lot of weeding out game players and women looking for bad boys, but I finally found her. Don't give up. Just keep flicking through those cards until you find your ace.
kaylan Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Every time I "date" a woman I always get the same thing right before they disappear... "your a good guy, do you know that" Then BOOM thier gone, to an "a-hole". I'm so tired of being a "good guy" but I can't pull off the a-hole thing for long periods of time. My last fwb I had told me I give up too easily...no, you pulled away when I tried to kiss you so I backed off, I'm not going to rape your face. I don't have time for these damn games...smh Lol I love when dudes assume girls are running to azzholes all the time. How do you know she just didnt meet a decent dude whos shes more attracted to? You cant see this all as a nice guy vs azzhole thing. Simply find girls who know what they want and dont play games.
USMCHokie Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Bad girls like bad guys. Good girls like good guys. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me...
carhill Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 They gave you a gift and you complain. Think about that. If you're into casual sex (FWB), then 'casual' is part of the game. No strings, no expectations; compatible potentials are not current LTR potential. If you're 'dating' concurrently with FWB then you're likely 'leaking' and it's causing issues. Pick a path and walk it.
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 RonChalant? What compelled you to make such an idiotic name? In any case, sooner or later yer gonna have to start being the bad boy. Either that or enjoy chastity.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 RonChalant? What compelled you to make such an idiotic name? In any case, sooner or later yer gonna have to start being the bad boy. Either that or enjoy chastity. Oxy don't go there.... I find his name ingenious.
somedude81 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Your option is to treat them like an " option". These girls like a challenge and if they know you have other girls line up, they will catfight for your attention. I really wonder about this. How many guys actually have other girls lined up? Am I wrong in thinking that it's just a player thing? That normal dudes have two or more girls just waiting for them?
Cypress25 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Lol I love when dudes assume girls are running to azzholes all the time. How do you know she just didnt meet a decent dude whos shes more attracted to? This. Those women didn't dump you because you're a good guy. They dumped you because they found an even better guy. Or because you didn't have anything else they wanted.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 I really wonder about this. How many guys actually have other girls lined up? Am I wrong in thinking that it's just a player thing? That normal dudes have two or more girls just waiting for them? Its called multidating. Look it up;)
OrangeSnack Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Every time I "date" a woman I always get the same thing right before they disappear... "your a good guy, do you know that" Then BOOM thier gone, to an "a-hole". I'm so tired of being a "good guy" but I can't pull off the a-hole thing for long periods of time. My last fwb I had told me I give up too easily...no, you pulled away when I tried to kiss you so I backed off, I'm not going to rape your face. I don't have time for these damn games...smh Ron take that as a compliment. Move on and find someone else, most of them arent even worth your time.
somedude81 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Its called multidating. Look it up;) I know what it's called. I'm just wondering how many guys actually have that option.
cerridwen Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 I really wonder about this. How many guys actually have other girls lined up? Am I wrong in thinking that it's just a player thing? That normal dudes have two or more girls just waiting for them? I know of a few guys who are rarely short of options. They're normal guys who are very social and very fun. They keep a core group of friends, a periphery group of friends, and add to the circle all the time. In befriending so many people, they meet tons of girls. Hence all the options.
somedude81 Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 How many is a few guys? For some reason I just really doubt that the average guy actually has options. While conversely, the average girl most likely has at least five guys that she knows of and that she can just call anyone of them up and go on a date with whenever she wants. And no, I'm not talking about guys that just want sex, but guys that actually want a relationship with her. It just seems so amazing to know that one is desired. Even more so if they are desired by quality individuals.
cerridwen Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 (edited) How many is a few guys? For some reason I just really doubt that the average guy actually has options. Um...three off the top of my head. They're in my social circle. While conversely, the average girl most likely has at least five guys that she knows of and that she can just call anyone of them up and go on a date with whenever she wants. And no, I'm not talking about guys that just want sex, but guys that actually want a relationship with her. Huh. Five guys? That's a lot of options. I'd say my most popular girlfriends have, at maximum, 3 possibles at a time. No different from the guys I mentioned. I suppose some of them hit 5 at a time during a good run but that's not the norm as I've witnessed it. It just seems so amazing to know that one is desired. Even more so if they are desired by quality individuals.It really does come down to getting out and about, Somedude. The more people one knows, the more opportunities for friendship, love, and sex. Edited February 3, 2012 by cerridwen
thatone Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 I really wonder about this. How many guys actually have other girls lined up? Am I wrong in thinking that it's just a player thing? That normal dudes have two or more girls just waiting for them? i turned down a married girl looking for a fling and a fwb situation to 'date' the girl i'm dating now. i like to think i'm pretty normal.
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Every time I "date" a woman I always get the same thing right before they disappear... "your a good guy, do you know that" Then BOOM thier gone, to an "a-hole". I'm so tired of being a "good guy" but I can't pull off the a-hole thing for long periods of time. My last fwb I had told me I give up too easily...no, you pulled away when I tried to kiss you so I backed off, I'm not going to rape your face. I don't have time for these damn games...smh Ron, the key here is to go for what you want. Women like passion and drive... even if that means you try to rape her face a bit. Stop worrying what other people will think of you so much. Also, if you want to keep your principals... you have to be a hard ass about stuff. Be willing to judge her on things and verbally reject her if needed. Example, I had a woman show up 20 minutes late for our date without calling. I told her that wasn't acceptable and left. 6 months later we tried again and she actually showed up 10 minutes early. Usually I'm really laid back... but sometimes I'm willing to be a jerk in order to stand up for myself.
Ross MwcFan Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 (edited) Huh. Five guys? That's a lot of options. I'd say my most popular girlfriends have, at maximum, 3 possibles at a time. No different from the guys I mentioned. I suppose some of them hit 5 at a time during a good run but that's not the norm as I've witnessed it. It's unbelievable that some people can have 5 options at any one time. They're so, so, lucky. It really does come down to getting out and about, Somedude. The more people one knows, the more opportunities for friendship, love, and sex. This is really good advice. Edited February 3, 2012 by Ross MwcFan
Dust Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Every time I "date" a woman I always get the same thing right before they disappear... "your a good guy, do you know that" Girls don't like confrontation. They don't tell you the reason they are breaking up so they say something "nice." They probably find you boring/immature. This thread comes off as immature. Then BOOM thier gone' date=' to an "a-hole". I'm so tired of being a "good guy" but I can't pull off the a-hole thing for long periods of time. [/quote'] Yes cause you're such a great guy that the guys they go to must be an "a-hole." How do you know these guys are a-holes any ways? Oh and your so nice it's hard for you to be an a-hole even though you believe being an a-hole is what women find attractive ahhahaha My last fwb I had told me I give up too easily...no, you pulled away when I tried to kiss you so I backed off, I'm not going to rape your face. I don't have time for these damn games...smh You backed off because are girl didn't want to kiss. That kind of makes you an ahole. Are you so fricken simple that you're either not kissing or raping her face? I'm sorry to be the one to break the news to you but these "games" as you call them are social interaction. It's not you plus me equal mariage and a baby cariage. You have to get to know them, things can end, thats life. Wake up and start living your life. Dating isn't about some destination of being married with kids and staring into eachothers eyes saying amen. It's a journey. So start treating it as a journey instead of a destination. Stop stressing out so much every time it doesn't work out with a girl. Just have fun. No need to back off if a girl doesn't want to kiss one time.
joystickd Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4Xme1yr2Lo&feature=context&context=G20a05e2FAAAAAAAAAAA Check that one out
betterdeal Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 (edited) So don't be the good guy or the bad guy. Be the smart guy, the interesting guy, the funny guy, the cheeky guy, the mysterious guy, the easy going guy, the twinkle in his eye guy. Be the guy who inspires, who loves, listens, learns. The guy who has courage. Open up, probe, inquire, respect, delight, amuse, charm, flirt, consider, care, savour, desire, want, caress, flip her over and do her from behind ... and most of all, enjoy. Edited February 3, 2012 by betterdeal
EnigmaticClarity Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 (edited) I really wonder about this. How many guys actually have other girls lined up? Am I wrong in thinking that it's just a player thing? That normal dudes have two or more girls just waiting for them? I usually dated at least two different girls at a time, sometimes three, all from online sites. I'm very picky and have just been able to find a larger number of women using search engines than I can going out. Most in a week was five, but that's during the period of time when I was contacting anyone who had the vaguest chance of working out mostly so I could get practice with my conversational skill. I rate myself above-average in terms of looks, but by far the most important way I attract women is with an above-average sense of humor, conversational skill, and intelligence. When I first started dating again in 2009, I did it for about five months. The first three were spent with limited success...went on a few the first month that went nowhere, got disillusioned for a month. I then spent two months going on what I saw as "practice" dates, where I'd go out with women I didn't think I'd end up with just to practice attracting them, to get used to loosening up in their presence and getting good again with light, funny, entertaining conversation. If the conversation is flowing, and you're keeping them entertaining, compelled, or laughing, I got to the point where I felt like I was set. The last month I started multi-dating women I KNEW I wanted to be with, then settled on one. That lasted about a year. In December 2010/January 2011, I dated 2-3 women at a time, six total, but this time I ONLY went out with women who were entirely my type (tall, dark hair, thin, educated, good job, intelligent). I attribute my turnaround entirely to developing loose, ad-hoc conversational humor. During the first five-month period I dated, I also learned the basics of escalation--during the first few months, I mostly talked with women platonically and was hesitant to escalate, but during my "practice" dating period, I tried multiple methods of escalation including physical contact, flirting, and questions or topics that I knew would subtly lead to intimate or sexual back-and-forth without being too overtly sexual. A friend I went to high school with faces a few physical challenges--he's 5' 5" and started going bald in his 20s--but humor, intelligence, and conversational skill works even better for him than it does for me. He's developed it a lot more by doing standup comedy and local plays. Humor and charm are the magic bullet to exit the friend zone...best thing about it is you can practice it on ANYONE, whether it be your dog, brother, mom, friends, or strangers in the mall. I've also used omegle.com and chatroulette.com to practice conversational skill, used to do that the hour before dates sometimes after I got used to using them. Learn to entertain people, and they'll love you for it. Edited February 3, 2012 by EnigmaticClarity
cerridwen Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 It's unbelievable that some people can have 5 options at any one time. They're so, so, lucky. They're so, so social and so, so personable. What I failed to mention is in that same circle of friends, there are women who have few options. Two girlfriends of mine struggle at finding men. Both want relationships very much. Neither is able to make a quick call and get a date. In college, other girls struggled in a similar way. So, women without options do exist, contrary to what SD believes.
ThaWholigan Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Good guys lol. Thing about being a "good guy" is that the rules aren't as rigid as we think they are. Play the game. Oh, and men certainly can have options, but they have to get their head out of the clouds and learn on the job, and just have fun talking to women without expecting an outcome.
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