zlatnapolja Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 Recently I got talked into watching a movie with my sort of friend/ex. I posted a thread about this person a couple of weeks ago. Recab: there's a strong connection between us, but i dont want a relationship with him and I'm not in love. You guys adviced me to not see him again. I kind of ignored him for a while, but 2 days ago I watched a movie with him as friends. At some point he tries to kiss me/touch me etc. I reject his attempts. He accepts it, but wants to hug me. Followed by him trying to kiss me again, which I allow for about 30 seconds, but then I pull away and say: 'I dont want to do this'. At some point, after about 10 minutes he actually starts to undress himself and touch himself. At that point I got up and said I wanted to go home. He tried to put my hand on his 'lovestick' But again I refused. I got up and said I wished him a good time ******* off, but I was gonna call a taxi. He said: 'no, ill drive you home'. In the car there was an awkward silence, so I said: 'well this is awkward...'. Him: 'no its not' Me: 'are you angry with me' Him: 'No, I'm sexually frustrated, but I could never be angry with you' He puts his hand on my leg and starts to caress my leg. I say to him: 'I should have never have come to your house'. He says: 'Why not, did you not have a good time'. I say to him yes I did, but I have a hard time figuring out, what exactly it is that you want from me.. He says to me: I cant help it, that I feel this way when I'm with you, you're special to me, you took my virginity'. So anyway I say goodbye and get out of the car. He texts me, if I got home safe, I didnt respond. Next day (yesterday) he texts me a crappy story about there being a downside to casual sex, that sometimes one person starts to feel more about the other person blabla, and he asks me if I'm mad at him? How can one be so arogant? I rejected him while he was naked and told him I didnt want to have sex with him, because I dont like casual sex, and I just want to be friends. Now he's implying, Im in love with him or something? Well he can think whatever the f* he wants to think:p Just dont understand how anyone can be this arogant.... All in all, this was a pretty awkward experience, one I dont wish to repeat:p
xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 I would question your maturity because your usage of the smileys make you come off extremely childish. This is a man who has feelings for you and since you cannot return his feelings, the politest way of treating him with respect is cutting him off completely. And he sounds like a douche bag for trying to get you to have sex with him. But either way, the both of you need to stop having any contacts and you need to figure out your boundaries and sticking to them when you set them. This means, no going back to a guy's place.
FitChick Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Avoid him because you cannot be friends. Eventually he will forget about you and find someone else.
Author zlatnapolja Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 I would question your maturity because your usage of the smileys make you come off extremely childish. This is a man who has feelings for you and since you cannot return his feelings, the politest way of treating him with respect is cutting him off completely. And he sounds like a douche bag for trying to get you to have sex with him. But either way, the both of you need to stop having any contacts and you need to figure out your boundaries and sticking to them when you set them. This means, no going back to a guy's place. Why can't I use smileys in my messages? They're here for a reason right? I'm 21 and I dont think me using smileys, has anything to do with me being mature or not.. However I think both of you are right, I just wonder how he can send a textmessage like that. Its sort of selfloving to assume that the only reason why I would reject him, would be: that I care to much about him?!! Oh well..
TheSingleGuy Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Either he was really drunk or you did something to make him very, very, very comfortable.
Oxy Moronovich Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 First, improve your grammar. Then get a boyfriend.
xpaperxcutx Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 Why can't I use smileys in my messages? They're here for a reason right? I'm 21 and I dont think me using smileys, has anything to do with me being mature or not.. However I think both of you are right, I just wonder how he can send a textmessage like that. Its sort of selfloving to assume that the only reason why I would reject him, would be: that I care to much about him?!! Oh well.. You're right but seeing as the situation was a serious one, your choice of smleys was just inappropriately placed. All I can say at twenty one you still have a lot to learn. There are friendships worth having and then there are friendships where. Even a little effort is awaste of time. Take tbis as a learning experience. You should not befriend men who have feelings for you.
spiderowl Posted February 3, 2012 Posted February 3, 2012 It sounds like he's implying that he's in love with you (or at least fancies you like mad) rather than the other way round. He's just basically refusing to accept you only wanted him as a FWB and only for that time. He shouldn't have persisted several times after you refused to let him kiss you. 'No' should be a signal to any guy that it is time to back off. Sitting there and getting his thing out after you'd rejected him was rather stupid. The whole thing could have opened him up to a sexual assault charge. But, you are out of the situation now and it would not be advisable to end up alone with him again. It sounds like both of you should move on.
Author zlatnapolja Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 First, improve your grammar. Then get a boyfriend. First, I'm not an english native. Second, I'm not looking for a boyfriend.
Author zlatnapolja Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 It sounds like he's implying that he's in love with you (or at least fancies you like mad) rather than the other way round. He's just basically refusing to accept you only wanted him as a FWB and only for that time. He shouldn't have persisted several times after you refused to let him kiss you. 'No' should be a signal to any guy that it is time to back off. Sitting there and getting his thing out after you'd rejected him was rather stupid. The whole thing could have opened him up to a sexual assault charge. But, you are out of the situation now and it would not be advisable to end up alone with him again. It sounds like both of you should move on. Yes I agree. All in all this was a very awkward situation. I havent talked about this to any of my friends (since I'm extremely embarrassed by the whole situation), so I just had to get this out of my system. I dont think he likes me though, I think he was being manipulative. Getting his think out was pretty stupid yes... He made a fool out of himself.. Thanks Spiderrowl! xpaperxcutx I'll try to use less smileyfaces in my threads.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 First, improve your grammar. Then get a boyfriend. Yes, if you get great grammar, boys will come running! It seems boys are always ogling women with the best grammar.
Titania22 Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 It seems boys are always ogling women with the best grammar. Obviously, because they want to know that you will still look good in 50yrs.
norajane Posted February 7, 2012 Posted February 7, 2012 You can't spend time with an ex who has feelings for you without it getting messy. Because it is messy. Continuing to see him means you like it that way. If you don't like it, step away.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 8, 2012 Posted February 8, 2012 Obviously, because they want to know that you will still look good in 50yrs. Wait... y'mean "... sound good..." ??? LOL
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