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Men how would you feel if....


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Posted

You had been with a woman for a while lets say a few months and you find out that had lied about her past say she was very promiscuous or has cheated on her previous partners. Would you feel betrayed that she portrayed a certain image and wasn't that? What if upon confronting her she said she was going to mention it but felt it wasn't right to tell. How would you feel?

When you think questionable pasts should be brought up? During initial stages of dating?

Posted
You had been with a woman for a while lets say a few months and you find out that had lied about her past say she was very promiscuous or has cheated on her previous partners. Would you feel betrayed that she portrayed a certain image and wasn't that? What if upon confronting her she said she was going to mention it but felt it wasn't right to tell. How would you feel?

When you think questionable pasts should be brought up? During initial stages of dating?

 

Well, considering this same exact thing happened with my ex-fiancee and I, I felt very betrayed and upset. It hurt even more to find out before hand from my friends, instead of her (a few of whom she slept with. She said that she kept those things from me because she wanted to make me feel "special." It's their past, granted, but if the question comes up, why lie about it? It was their decision to do what they did, so why not hone up to it?

 

Needless to say, she cheated on like 5 boyfriends before we got together, and that was pretty shocking to find out... I don't know, I find it very difficult to trust a woman that is/was promiscuous when I'm with her.

Posted
You had been with a woman for a while lets say a few months and you find out that had lied about her past say she was very promiscuous or has cheated on her previous partners. Would you feel betrayed that she portrayed a certain image and wasn't that? What if upon confronting her she said she was going to mention it but felt it wasn't right to tell. How would you feel?
Aren't you the guy who was looking for sex only at night clubs? If yes, did you tell her about that? Or if one is unsuccessful in his attempts to be promiscuous, that somehow makes him a monk? :laugh:;)

 

When you think questionable pasts should be brought up? During initial stages of dating?

Never. If you want to know something, ask. :)
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Posted
Aren't you the guy who was looking for sex only at night clubs? If yes, did you tell her about that? Or if one is unsuccessful in his attempts to be promiscuous, that somehow makes him a monk? :laugh:;)

 

Never. If you want to know something, ask. :)

 

No not me. I hate nightclubs

Posted
You had been with a woman for a while lets say a few months and you find out that had lied about her past say she was very promiscuous or has cheated on her previous partners. Would you feel betrayed that she portrayed a certain image and wasn't that? What if upon confronting her she said she was going to mention it but felt it wasn't right to tell. How would you feel?

When you think questionable pasts should be brought up? During initial stages of dating?

 

I don't particularly care whether she was promiscuous in the past, as that is her business...but if I discovered she had a habit of cheating, I'd run for closest exit without much second thought.

Posted (edited)

Promiscuity is not a deal breaker, lies are.

 

If she "projected an image" well that's all in the eye of the beholder, not her fault. Just because my imagination painted the wrong picture is hardly her fault.

Edited by 123321
Posted

If she "projected an image" well that's all in the eye of the beholder, not her fault. Just because my imagination painted the wrong picture is hardly her fault.

 

Agreed. Buyer beware. This is why I have no sympathy for those who get themselves into abusive or destructive relationships.

Posted

In regards to promiscuity...we would have to define what this is...its a subjective term. Some girls Ive known have jokingly called me a man-whore, since they are more conservative than I am. Other girls have called me an average joe. And a few even called me prude because they assumed I would have been around more than I have. Within reason, a girls past wont bother me if its on par with mine.

 

When it comes to cheating, I dunno if I could excuse past behavior that displays their ability to deceive someone theyre dating. I would always be paranoid, asking myself "well she did it to him, what makes me any different?"

 

Lastly, lying is a deal breaker for me. I put high value in honesty, and once theres a crack in the foundation of trust, theres no going back. I dont want to have to constantly wonder what else Im not being told.

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