Ross MwcFan Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I hear so many times, from guys, that when you're with a woman you find attractive, you're supposed to look at them in a sexual way, ie thinking how much you would like to **** her, imagining her naked, thinking about how her breasts look great. I know that I've always naturally done this anyway. Supposedly this will show in your body language, and you will be more likely to act as though you find her sexually attractive, you will give of the right 'vibes'. So obviously this will be important if you want to attract a woman/hook up with a woman. So, ladies, would you really want guys to not look at you in that way, to not look at you as a sexual creature, and for them to not behave like they're sexual creatures? Would you really rather them not think in that way about you, and wonder about your personality instead, like a neutered nice guy? Would that really turn you on/attract you to him? Edited February 1, 2012 by Ross MwcFan
skelterhelter Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 I want my guy to find me sexy and attractive, but I don't want him to view me as a sex object. That would imply that's all I'm good for.
Lonely Ronin Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 I'm not a woman, but I can speak to this pretty well I think. It's not black or white, it's shades of grey, and what shade depends greatly on the woman in question. Most women IME want you to be interested in both, unless they are having a ONS.
somedude81 Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 If you don't view women as sexual creatures you will never get anywhere.
ditzchic Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 In the beginning, its nice knowing that he finds me attractive. That he thinks about those things when he's with me. There is a fine line for showing that attraction though. Don't be all creepy about it staring at her T&A and making inappropriate comments like a teenage boy itching to lose his virginity. Don't dry hump her on the first date and don't grab her hand and put it on your junk on the second. Have some tact and class about it. There comes a point (maybe a month or so in) where he needs to start seeing me as a whole person though. If it doesn't seem like he's getting to that point, I'm moving on to someone that appreciates the other parts of me as well.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 If you don't view women as sexual creatures you will never get anywhere. Exactly, and guys viewing women as sexual creatures is comletely natural and normal. I don't know why women are so against it.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 In the beginning, its nice knowing that he finds me attractive. That he thinks about those things when he's with me. There is a fine line for showing that attraction though. Don't be all creepy about it staring at her T&A and making inappropriate comments like a teenage boy itching to lose his virginity. Don't dry hump her on the first date and don't grab her hand and put it on your junk on the second. Have some tact and class about it. There comes a point (maybe a month or so in) where he needs to start seeing me as a whole person though. If it doesn't seem like he's getting to that point, I'm moving on to someone that appreciates the other parts of me as well. Yeah, that's understandable, I get that.
verhrzn Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Exactly, and guys viewing women as sexual creatures is comletely natural and normal. I don't know why women are so against it. Because they don't want to be reduced down to just their sexual organs. Would you want to be with a girl who didn't care about you at all as a person and measured you just by your wallet?
Els Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Exactly, and guys viewing women as sexual creatures is comletely natural and normal. I don't know why women are so against it. Sexual creatures is a completely different issue from sex object.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 Because they don't want to be reduced down to just their sexual organs. Would you want to be with a girl who didn't care about you at all as a person and measured you just by your wallet? So when first meeting a guy you find attractive, you would rather he doesn't look at you in that way/think you're hot, and behave more like a nutered nice guy? No, I wouldn't want a girl who I'm with to only be interested in my wallet, but I sure as hell would want her to find me sexually attractive.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 Sexual creatures is a completely different issue from sex object. When I talk about viewing a woman as a sexual creature, I'm talking about finding them hot, liking the way their body looks, wanting to have sex with them. How is that any different from viewing them as a sex object?
Lonely Ronin Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 When I talk about viewing a woman as a sexual creature, I'm talking about finding them hot, liking the way their body looks, wanting to have sex with them. How is that any different from viewing them as a sex object? sex object = stripper/prostitute/porn star ok not exactly, but hopefully you get the idea.
Els Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 C'mon Ross, you're smarter than this. 'Sex object' means that the woman is no longer a person, she is just a receptacle for sex, nothing else matters. 'Sexual being' means that the woman, like a man, has sexual desires of her own that you are trying to arouse, and vice versa.
Dorie Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Sexual object, no. Sexual being, yes. Simply and nicely put.
somedude81 Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Sexual object, no. Sexual being, yes. Some men have problems recognizing the difference between the two. And in doing so they try to be safe by not seeing woman as sexual at all.
thatone Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) Some men have problems recognizing the difference between the two. And in doing so they try to be safe by not seeing woman as sexual at all. doesn't matter. I hear so many times, from guys, that when you're with a woman you find attractive, you're supposed to look at them in a sexual way, ie thinking how much you would like to **** her, imagining her naked, thinking about how her breasts look great. I know that I've always naturally done this anyway. Supposedly this will show in your body language, and you will be more likely to act as though you find her sexually attractive, you will give of the right 'vibes'. So obviously this will be important if you want to attract a woman/hook up with a woman. So, ladies, would you really want guys to not look at you in that way, to not look at you as a sexual creature, and for them to not behave like they're sexual creatures? Would you really rather them not think in that way about you, and wonder about your personality instead, like a neutered nice guy? Would that really turn you on/attract you to him? honestly, these questions, they all have the same answer... a) if she wants to have sex with you, you can look at her however you want, and with the crazy ones treat her however you want to boot. b) if she doesn't want to have sex with you it doesn't matter what you think or do, she'll think it's wrong and pull away from you. it's really not complicated. this same scenario answers every question those of you who don't get women ask. Edited February 1, 2012 by thatone
Dorie Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Some men have problems recognizing the difference between the two. And in doing so they try to be safe by not seeing woman as sexual at all. Big mistake. It takes some practice to find a happy in-between. If you're not interacting or not generating any heat while interacting with females, success will be drastically reduced.
Dust Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Some men have problems recognizing the difference between the two. And in doing so they try to be safe by not seeing woman as sexual at all. A lot of women like being sexy, they don't like the word object attached to it. What's so hard to recognize? They like to think you're thinking "what a sexy, beautiful, girl" or something like that... not "what a sexy piece of meat I'll eat her up and on to the next." You see the level of respect for something you think of as a sexy person and sexy object varry greatly. People deserve high levels of respect, objects deserve less respect... Now you understand. Now go get some life experiences already you're older then me and soon enough you'll be older then most. (you'll be 40 at the rate your going)
jobaba Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 I hear so many times, from guys, that when you're with a woman you find attractive, you're supposed to look at them in a sexual way, ie thinking how much you would like to **** her, imagining her naked, thinking about how her breasts look great. I know that I've always naturally done this anyway. Supposedly this will show in your body language, and you will be more likely to act as though you find her sexually attractive, you will give of the right 'vibes'. So obviously this will be important if you want to attract a woman/hook up with a woman. So, ladies, would you really want guys to not look at you in that way, to not look at you as a sexual creature, and for them to not behave like they're sexual creatures? Would you really rather them not think in that way about you, and wonder about your personality instead, like a neutered nice guy? Would that really turn you on/attract you to him? If they are not attracted to YOU, then it doesn't matter how you see them. If you see them as a sexual object, you are a creep. If you see all of their inner qualities, they are just not attracted to you in that way. If they are attracted to you, then you can talk your way out of one polar extreme to a moderate ground. Similar to what Ditzchic said. They'll give you a chance to explain yourself. So, in a sense of helping you decide which way you should approach and cater your attraction towards women (and I'm surmising that's why you posted it), your thread is useless. If you would like real life examples, I'd be happy to provide...
jobaba Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 doesn't matter. honestly, these questions, they all have the same answer... a) if she wants to have sex with you, you can look at her however you want, and with the crazy ones treat her however you want to boot. b) if she doesn't want to have sex with you it doesn't matter what you think or do, she'll think it's wrong and pull away from you. it's really not complicated. this same scenario answers every question those of you who don't get women ask. Yea, that....
Els Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 I like how when such questions are asked of WOMEN, a whole horde of perpetually single guys always chime in with their 'omniscient' 'facts'. I mean, I like you guys, I think you're decent people, but this is really getting to annoy me. Why are men with little to no relationship experience seeking to generalize the female psyche with their own answers (and then listening only to each other) instead of listening to answers from genuine women who have reasonable relationship experience - the very species that you are trying and failing to get? Surely those 'facts' that you so believe have not gotten you anywhere.
somedude81 Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Big mistake. It takes some practice to find a happy in-between. If you're not interacting or not generating any heat while interacting with females, success will be drastically reduced. I completely agree with you. It's a huge mistake. One that I was doing for most of my life. And one that I'm sure many men who are unsuccessful with women also make. Finding the line between thinking all women are saints, to being a sleaze ball is harder than it seems. One thing I keep hearing, is that it's better to try for a kiss too soon and get a woman mad then to never try which makes her think you're a wuss.
thatone Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 I like how when such questions are asked of WOMEN, a whole horde of perpetually single guys always chime in with their 'omniscient' 'facts'. I mean, I like you guys, I think you're decent people, but this is really getting to annoy me. Why are men with little to no relationship experience seeking to generalize the female psyche with their own answers (and then listening only to each other) instead of listening to answers from genuine women who have reasonable relationship experience - the very species that you are trying and failing to get? Surely those 'facts' that you so believe have not gotten you anywhere. i can't speak for jobaba i don't know his story, from what i gather of ross and somedude they don't have much luck. but my post was from nothing but personal experience. and honestly, i don't see how it's a slight against women. it's more of a slight against these guys that ask the same questions over and over and, as i said above, all of them have the same answer. if i walk up to a random woman on the street and comment on her boobs i'm probably gonna get at the very least run away from, or at worst hit with a purse. if i make the same comment to a woman i'm having sex with or about to have sex with she'll think it's cute, sexy, and take it as a compliment. what's the only difference in those situations? this isn't really rocket science.
jobaba Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) I like how when such questions are asked of WOMEN, a whole horde of perpetually single guys always chime in with their 'omniscient' 'facts'. I mean, I like you guys, I think you're decent people, but this is really getting to annoy me. Why are men with little to no relationship experience seeking to generalize the female psyche with their own answers (and then listening only to each other) instead of listening to answers from genuine women who have reasonable relationship experience - the very species that you are trying and failing to get? Surely those 'facts' that you so believe have not gotten you anywhere. LOL. Didn't you just respond to my thread directed towards men? I have relationship experience and am currently in one. And 50% of my modus operandi of being on this site is to help guys like the OP get women. The other 50% is just entertainment value. So, if I can show him where I went wrong, I'll be glad to do so. And that includes thinking that appreciating a woman for her inner qualities will earn you points with her if she's not attracted to you. I'm not trying to derail the thread. LS women can still answer the question. Edited February 1, 2012 by jobaba
Recommended Posts