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Posted

I'm a 26 year old single young woman- and I have probably made out with around 40 guys in my lifetime. I'm wondering if that is too many. I've slept with 7 guys and I don't think that that is a lot for someone my age. But as far as making out/ fooling around goes....I've been around I guess ;)

 

Is this a normal number? Would you say this is "trashy"? I feel like if I were a man- I probably wouldn't be worried. Which is of course...infuriating.

 

Thoughts/ personal experiences?

Posted

Only prudes would label you trashy. You're not trashy.

Posted

Seven men at 26 years old does not strike me as trashy. As for the number of men you've "fooled around with", there is no need to share that information. How many times one has "made out" stops being important when we hit adulthood.

Posted

Meh, what's right for you is right for you. Nobody has the right to say otherwise; own it and be proud of it. :) It's too many for me (I'm the sort of girl who can't imagine making out with someone and then forgetting their face or name down the line, and 40 is just too many to remember! :p), but that's just me.

Posted

Making out with 40 guys is a ton. That's just crazy and tells me that kissing means nothing to you. Of course that just my opinion.

Posted

i don't think so. but it probably doesn't help you in terms of how you percieve yourself by haveing an actual count of how many guys you 'made out with', so you may want to throw that idea out the window.

Posted

I only think it's trashy when girls lower themselves to brainless objects because they like the attention.

As long as you respect yourself and don't let guys use you, forget about the number and what other people might think. :)

Posted

Why does it matter what arbitrary label someone might place on you?

Posted

Well, I have still to meet someone who self identifies as being promiscuous on whatever level and is not screwed up ...

 

Methinks that the screwed up element is usually there first though and can go either way; promiscuity or isolation. In essence persons as such can present in very similar ways and can even cycle between the two extremes.

 

That is my observation anyway.

 

So, what I think is often the least of the issue. Self identification is key.

 

Take care,

Eve x

Posted

Personally, I put a high value on not having casual sex or a lot of partners. If I found out a woman had been with that many guys I would most likely want to not date her because of it. I might feel differently if she had had a “wilder” period earlier in life and then been more selective and discerning.

 

You are where you are right now. But, you should realize that at least some men will find your choices undesirable. Some, of course won't care at all, and others will be in the middle. Some will see you as a perfect candidate for a physical short-term relationship but not long-term relationship material, and this type will be the most vocal to tell you that what you're doing is great.

 

It depends a lot on which type of man you would like to be with.

 

Scott

Posted
Only prudes would label you trashy. You're not trashy.

 

Why does it matter what arbitrary label someone might place on you?

 

Label as in "prude"?

 

Some people will find the behavior trashy; others will not. If it makes you happy, why care about what anyone else thinks? Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

Posted

Yes you're a dirty dirty girl I'd like the pleasure of punishing you myself!

Posted

No. I don't think you're trashy.

 

People are sexual beings. You're single and young. You've only slept with seven men, big deal. Made out with forty, over what, a span of ten years maybe? Also hardly a big deal.

 

Just be true to yourself, be safe, and have a good time.

Posted

7 is not a big number and you will probably settle down in the next few years so it won't be that much higher anyway.

 

I find it interesting that you have made out with about 40 guys so far in total though. It's interesting that the difference between those you have made out with and those you have slept with is so big. Are you a serial dater?

 

I have slept with more men than you but have made out with fewer than you as well. Those two numbers in my case are much closer to each other and I'm thinking it's the case because I don't serial date or multi date.

Posted

There's nothing trashy or wrong with fooling about with a lot of people at all, as long as you're not causing any harm to anyone and you're using protection.

 

Just like creighton0123 says, it's only pudes who will think otherwise.

Posted
There's nothing trashy or wrong with fooling about with a lot of people at all, as long as you're not causing any harm to anyone and you're using protection.

 

Just like creighton0123 says, it's only pudes who will think otherwise.

 

No creighton thought 7 was a low number and only prudes would think it was a lot of people. Does that make you a prude?

Posted
No creighton thought 7 was a low number and only prudes would think it was a lot of people. Does that make you a prude?

 

I was thinking about the 40 guys she made out with. I don't think 7 is that many at all.

Posted

I wouldn't bring up the 40 guys figure to a potential boyfriend if I were you.

Posted
I wouldn't bring up the 40 guys figure to a potential boyfriend if I were you.

 

I think the type of guy that would judge her or look down on her for it, probably isn't the type of guy she'd want to be with anyway.

 

I know if I was a woman, I definatley wouldn't want to be with that type of a guy.

Posted
I think the type of guy that would judge her or look down on her for it, probably isn't the type of guy she'd want to be with anyway.

 

I know if I was a woman, I definatley wouldn't want to be with that type of a guy.

Why?

 

I see kissing as something that is very intimate and that is only supposed to be shared with somebody you really care about.

 

A girl that has kissed a ton of guys obviously doesn't see it that way.

 

Did you know that the vast majority of hookers don't allow kissing, at least the ones in the US don't. I'm pretty sure it's for similar reasons I mentioned.

Posted
Why?

 

I see kissing as something that is very intimate and that is only supposed to be shared with somebody you really care about.

 

A girl that has kissed a ton of guys obviously doesn't see it that way.

 

Did you know that the vast majority of hookers don't allow kissing, at least the ones in the US don't. I'm pretty sure it's for similar reasons I mentioned.

 

Because to me and a lot of peopel it seems very prudish, narrow minded, uptight, and that he's probably not that nice of a person either.

Posted

Hmmm, why do I always read the topic title 'Do you think I'm trashy' to the tune of 'Do you think I'm sexy' by Rod Stewart?

Posted
I think the type of guy that would judge her or look down on her for it, probably isn't the type of guy she'd want to be with anyway.

 

I know if I was a woman, I definatley wouldn't want to be with that type of a guy.

 

Why?

 

I see kissing as something that is very intimate and that is only supposed to be shared with somebody you really care about.

 

A girl that has kissed a ton of guys obviously doesn't see it that way.

 

Did you know that the vast majority of hookers don't allow kissing, at least the ones in the US don't. I'm pretty sure it's for similar reasons I mentioned.

 

You gotta admit Ross has a point, you're probably not the type of guy she'd want to be with any ways.

 

also from what you've let on about yourself you're in no position to judge!

Posted
Because to me and a lot of peopel it seems very prudish, narrow minded, uptight, and that he's probably not that nice of a person either.

Did you read anything I wrote after the "why?"

 

Do those reasons make me seem "prudish, narrow minded, uptight" and that I'm not that nice of a guy?

Posted
I think the type of guy that would judge her or look down on her for it, probably isn't the type of guy she'd want to be with anyway.

 

I know if I was a woman, I definatley wouldn't want to be with that type of a guy.

I don't judge her for it, but part of being a good partner is turning your mate on and hearing about 40 other guys isn't the majority of males cup of tea. I don't think having slept with 7 men when you're 26 is trashy at all but that 40 figure is just something that would stick in my mind. It's not the best way to phrase things.

 

Even if I found out my 20 something girlfriend had actually slept with 40 men I wouldn't think any less of her as a person, but it would be a huge turn off. So I hope she doesn't mention it if that's the case.

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