irc333 Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 There was this woman I emailed, she lives near me, but she said she started seeing someone now and only dates one at time, but remains active on the dating site just in case. Why remain on the site, if you're seeing someone? Why but all your eggs in one basket?
Andy_K Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) Why remain on the site, if you're seeing someone? Because it'll take a few weeks or more before you really know if they're a good match for you or not. Why but all your eggs in one basket? Someone who has no problems getting dates has no need to juggle as many as they can at once and then pick the best. They do the picking when deciding who to date in the first place. Honestly, unless you need to find a partner within a few weeks of your relationship last ending, what's the point in dating several people at once? Just date them one at a time and move on (or not) if you decide they're not the one. Multi-dating smacks of 'settling'. It's like trying to get the best of whatever is available to you, rather than deciding if the person you've met is what you want. Dating just one person at a time implies that you have a pretty good idea exactly what you are looking for and will be happy with, and therefore you have no need to 'compare' different partners. This is what's going on here. She's got no fear of 'missing her chance' with you. She's started dating someone, it looks promising, and she has no desire to complicate things. Edited February 1, 2012 by Andy_K
EnigmaticClarity Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 There was this woman I emailed, she lives near me, but she said she started seeing someone now and only dates one at time, but remains active on the dating site just in case. Why remain on the site, if you're seeing someone? Why but all your eggs in one basket? She's looking for an upgrade while she still can...unfortunately, you weren't an upgrade. Don't take it personally, happens to everyone if they date long enough.
thatone Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 She's looking for an upgrade while she still can...unfortunately, you weren't an upgrade. Don't take it personally, happens to everyone if they date long enough. exactly. all you men spending all of your time on dating sites are not doing yourselves any favors and this is why. adding anonymity to dating is pretty much the biggest failed social experiment of the last ~10 years. http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19
phineas Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 There was this woman I emailed, she lives near me, but she said she started seeing someone now and only dates one at time, but remains active on the dating site just in case. Why remain on the site, if you're seeing someone? Why but all your eggs in one basket? A woman I went to school with winked at me when I joined match. I sent her an email saying hi. she told me she is seeing someone & her subscription was up at the end of the month & wanted to keep in touch. I told her I got two more months. We are on Facebook so I told her she could reach me there. Not going to keep emailing someone if their already seeing someone else. She now knows i'm an option & should things fall through with the guy she is seeing she can contact me. If i'm single if & when she does then cool.
Author irc333 Posted February 2, 2012 Author Posted February 2, 2012 Just saw her signed in "online now", so I'm just going to tell her, "Well, I'll probably be on here, so just "in case" things don't work out on your end....I should be still here. lol" A woman I went to school with winked at me when I joined match. I sent her an email saying hi. she told me she is seeing someone & her subscription was up at the end of the month & wanted to keep in touch. I told her I got two more months. We are on Facebook so I told her she could reach me there. Not going to keep emailing someone if their already seeing someone else. She now knows i'm an option & should things fall through with the guy she is seeing she can contact me. If i'm single if & when she does then cool.
Author irc333 Posted February 2, 2012 Author Posted February 2, 2012 exactly. all you men spending all of your time on dating sites are not doing yourselves any favors and this is why. adding anonymity to dating is pretty much the biggest failed social experiment of the last ~10 years. http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19 Not sure what you mean. It's actually more accepted now than it was back in the early 2000's. With the Match.com commercials where there's a camera on site with two people meeting face to face for the first time, it's pretty cool. Same with Eharmony, and other widely known dating sites are becoming the mainstream, and even blending both real world and online into one even.
thatone Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 just because it's on TV doesn't mean it's not all wrong. look at jersey shore. people have posted it forever on this site and no one listens, but whatever, again... when you approach women in person you have an advantage. you can steer the conversation, you can overcome a lot of other deficiencies that are blatantly obvious in a dating profile just by being charming in person. you can't do that on a dating site. dating sites give women three things that are definitely NOT in your favor.... a) a plethora of attention from random people, even if most of them are retards. b) a plethora of criteria to disqualify you with. c) freedom to flake without having to turn you down in person. you suffer from none of these when you chat a girl up in a bar or a store or whatever other similar situation.
turt Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 She probably wants to be with the person she's dating but doesn't know if a relationship will happen. Why would you keep deleting your account every time you date a new person?
Author irc333 Posted February 2, 2012 Author Posted February 2, 2012 I have known women in person to get attention from a lot of men, though the entire amount isn't equal to that of the population of single men on the internet, but even in person 3 or 4 guys surrounding her at a social event, singles mixer,etc can have an equivalent effect. I've seen it happen, the really attractive women usually are spooked, and you never see them again. In personn, rejection can go over a bit differently, they just say "I'm not interested" in your face They either 1. Give you a fake phone #, I've heard women admit to this 2. Give your their real number, just never return your calls. It's just a rejection in a somewhat different way, just not a face to face rejection. The internet is what you make of it. just because it's on TV doesn't mean it's not all wrong. look at jersey shore. people have posted it forever on this site and no one listens, but whatever, again... when you approach women in person you have an advantage. you can steer the conversation, you can overcome a lot of other deficiencies that are blatantly obvious in a dating profile just by being charming in person. you can't do that on a dating site. dating sites give women three things that are definitely NOT in your favor.... a) a plethora of attention from random people, even if most of them are retards. b) a plethora of criteria to disqualify you with. c) freedom to flake without having to turn you down in person. you suffer from none of these when you chat a girl up in a bar or a store or whatever other similar situation.
phineas Posted February 2, 2012 Posted February 2, 2012 and first contact over the phone, I can't see their body language or tell if i'm boring the crap out of them or they think i'm a weirdo or what. In person, i can usually tell if i'm wasting my time.
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